We're all heading to Atlanta for the week for the annual book get-together for Christian publishing. I loved traveling when I lived in the country, but now, I'm really not motivated at all. I live in the best place in the world, and you can all slap me, but I'm so serious!!! First off, I cannot offend people here. I can let my mouth blurt whatever, and usually, people just laugh. If they're engineers, I get the blank stare, but whatever, they're not offended. Not so in the country. In the country, I am beyond obnoxious, here I'm just one of the gang. And now, I'm heading to the south, where I have to be extra careful -- southern hospitality and all that. Pray for me.
So this week, I saw some very Ashley Stockingdale things, and I'm sort of inspired. First off, I saw a guy at the church BBQ walking with two women -- then he sees his single guy friends, and there's one free chair, so he pulls it out and sits down, leaving the women sort of dazed. The women look around, a little confused and then shrug and find chairs across the grass. I'm thinking, how completely rude. Then, one of the single guys pipes up and says to him, "Dude, you just abandoned your wife for us? What's wrong with you?" That's right, his wife. So see, whatever I do by comparison is small potatoes. THAT is rude.
Then, I did something totally Ashley this week. I'm at VBS and there is this gorgeous Indian guy working. He's all buff and tall, just the "type" my former nanny likes and I was wondering if he was the one she once pointed out, so I say, "Hi, did you go to Stanford?" He replies, "No, I went to Davis." Here's what will never play in the South, I say, "Oh okay, so you don't have seven brothers and sisters back in India then? Because my former nanny has seven brothers and sisters, too and I was going to set you two up." He backed away. Even *I* was mortified by that one. It was like I was saying, you know, I have an Asian friend, and YOU are Asian too -- that makes you perfect! UGH! But I thought if I went into the whole, you're a totally buff, tall Indian and she likes that type, it would have been worse. So I just shut up -- but chances are, he will avoid me for life.
Ashley lives. And she's going to Atlanta. Say it with me now, "Bless her heart!"
Picture: My oldest in Monterey -- yes, we go there a lot. My daughter says she's going to live there when she grows up.
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19 Comments:
Too funny... and yes, the husband was rude!
See you soon! And don't worry about us southerners, we invented rednecks. We can deal with Californians. ;)
Hugs, Rachel
Haha, you should watch The Closer...it's like Kyra Sedgewick reversed.
At least you can get sweet tea in the south...which is the main reason I'll never be able to move to California. If I do, it's to start up a sweet tea franchise.
LOL..you could use a keeper in Atlanta. Have a great time!
I'll see you there, Kristin. I'm covering ICRS for Novel Journey. Since it's in my backyard, I'll keep watch over y'all.
See, that's what I need, southerners like y'all to keep me muzzled! I'll stick close. LOL
Oh and I cannot STAND sweet tea -- I almost spit it out when I ordered an iced tea. I was like, WHAT THE HECK IS THIS? LOL
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Holy cow, K, you don't like sweet tea? Real southern sweet tea is to DIE FOR!!! You must not have given it a chance.
I'm in lovely Nashville this very moment. It will beat California hands down. LOL
Yeah, tell me that when the next ice storm comes and I'm sitting in seventy degree weather. : )
I'll remind you how perfect it is the next time an earthquake comes through. LOL At least an ice storm isn't deadly.
Hahaha .... guys are so clueless sometimes.
Honestly, I think there are a lot of times guys hurt us and they don't mean to hurt us. It just happens because they are too dense to realize they are being hurtful.
Maybe it's because I'm a West Coaster, but I can feel you on this one. Everything is so slow and muggy there. I am around countless people from the south right now and have become the butt of many jokes because I told them they shouldn't burn plastic in the their fires. Now everyone thinks I am a tree hugger.
One only has to smell burning plastic once I would hope. Happy Fourth all!! I know it's not really a celebration in Swaziland, and by the way, we have a missionary heading there. He went to Boston College and he is going to help get the AIDS work computerized. Isn't that cool?
I watched fireworks from my deck. Now THAT was cool. Of course tomorrow I'll see how bad the air is and I'll be a tree hugger myself. : )
Do you know what organization he is with and how long he will be here? We have a prety strong missionary support group which has been SUCH a blessing! We had a 4th of July party last night with an American team who was here. Kind of funny, since it was FREEZING outside!
Love this post since I'm also in the running for "blurter of the year award" Isn't it funny though to see the looks you get? lol Sometimes those looks stay with me for days...(enough time to make my cringing turn to laughter, thankfully)
It's almost an out of body experience, isn't it Julie? Like now, I can just look at people like someone else said it, and get their reactions for a book. LOL
Swazi, I'll find out. I know, but of course, I can't remember.
Why on earth would anyone think sweet tea is gross? My mind can't comprehend. Iced tea is so bitter! And you can never sweeten it with sugar but rather the disgusting artificial sweeteners that taste so utterly...artificial. *GAG*
Interesting...I spent the Fourth of July with relatives and all I could talk about was getting out of the stinking city and going to the country. I am so SICK of city life and I'm just on the edge of the city.
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