MOMENT OF TRUTH
Did you see that news story on Fox & Friends about a cop's wife on the Moment of Truth game show? She admitted having affairs and also admitted she'd rather be married to her ex-boyfriend. She was willing to admit all the things she'd done on national TV, but when asked, "Are you a good person?" She said, "Yes, I believe I'm a good person." The lie detector technician said she was LYING! She DIDN'T think she was a good person. But she couldn't admit something that simple and get another $100,000!
The world tells us it's perfectly fine to do the things she was doing. That there's no such thing as sin. But her HEART knew better obviously. But she still couldn't come right out and say, "The things I did were wrong." She balked at real heart truth.
I found it an interesting commentary on how far we'll go to try to deceive ourselves. Inside we always know better. LOL But it made me stop and think about truth and being honest with ourselves. I don't know about you, it's uncomfortable to take an unvarnished look at our faults. And we all have them. I know, I know, you're shocked I would have any faults. Ask the other girls. They can give you the dirt. LOL I think this all must have a little to do with Jesus saying for us to take care of the plank in our own eye before we tend to the sliver in the other person's. We deceive ourselves so well, we'll deny to our dying day that there IS a plank even if it's gouging out our eye! LOL
I avoid a mirror because the reflection is getting OLD and FAT. What's up with that? I'm still nineteen inside and wear a size ten. I've been in search of the perfect face cream like they say on What Not to Wear. But it's just more of that self-deception. Facts are facts and I haven't worn a size twelve in twenty-five years. LOL And hey, here's an unpleasant reality: I'm not likely to no matter how hard I diet. And the way I try to tell myself I never get mad. Lies, all lies to myself. I can lose my top with the best of them.
So come on, take off the mask. Tell me one thing you don't like to admit about yourself. I'll never tell.
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I don't do anything even close to my share of housework. In fact in the 15 months that I've lived in my house I don't think I've mopped the floors once. My roommates do it all...
I try to tell myself that this is because I'm hardly ever home (I travel a lot for my job) and/or when I am I eat out a lot (which I do) but the truth is that when it comes to domestic stuff I'm exceptionally lazy and if it was left up to me the bathroom would NEVER get cleaned.
Fortunately for me my roommates are far more domesticated than I am but I wish that I was a bit more selfless and didn't take advantage of their good natures.
I would rather read than clean. I would rather travel than sit at home, staring at the junk in my house. I start things but never finish. I am a procrastinator and a perfectionist. The two together mean that if it is not done right, it doesn't get done.
I am organized to a fault about my checkbook, my office at work, and my schedule. But ask me when I last cleaned anything, and I might not be able to tell you. Ask me what I last put in my mouth. That is even harder. I have a lot of control in other areas of my life, but I have no self control when it comes to food or housework.
My dark secret: I'm 35 years old and have lived with my parents for more than a year rent and bill free while saving for a house. I have health issues, so they like having me at home. My mom also cleans my room, does my laundry and does all the cooking. We actually fight over this, but she says she wants to do it.
As for the whole gameshow concept, first, I would say it's cruel if these dingbats didn't sign up for it in the first place. Secondly, I think we lie to ourselves so often it becomes second nature. Goodness, when I started counseling, I think I lied to my shrink and myself for about five sessions, even though he kept calling me on it. I finally realized I was wasting my time and money and spilled my guts.
Let's see deep dark secret. I don't like the way I look in the mirror either. I am also always measuring myself against someone else. "Well I don't look as bad (or fat or old fill in the blank) as that person." At times, I feel guilty for running down another person and not being happy with myself when I am the only one who can change certain things about myself.
As far as that show, I watched the first episode and refused to watch it again. I can't believe people would voluntarily get on there and do that to themselves and their families all for money! What has our society come to that we would willing put our families through that? What has tv come to that they would put on a show like that? I am disgusted by the whole thing if you can't tell!
I'm impressed! You all are opening up.
You girls who hate to clean should see my house. We're remodeling the kitchen and there is drywall dust EVERYWHERE. Sigh. But the new cabinets arrived yesterday so Dave and Davy are starting to restore tonight.
Chelf, I'm with you! I'd rather read than do ANYTHING else. And Melanie, don't knock it. Moms like to do things for their girls, no matter HOW old they get. LOL
I didn't watch the show either, Andrea. They showed the clip on Fox & Friends. The only reality shows I like are home remodeling ones. LOL
HHmmm, I think I agree with Andrea. I, too, have always wanted to "look" like someone else. Who? Christy Brinkley. It's always a joke. When someone asks my name, I say Christy Brinkley. They smile. Probably because I'm Spainish and a brunette. (Ok, I tan easily....)
It's taken me a very long time to learn that God loves me for who I am. I don't have to prove myself to society. I know that in my heart but there are times when I look in the mirror and gasp! I don't feel like that person I'm looking at!
I'm a frustrated perfectionist, like Chelf. But I don't even have a handle on the things she does!
I care WAY too much about what people think of me, even strangers. I think it's that perfectionist thing.
Hmm, I see a lot of my secrets up here. Have y'all been watching my house somehow? :)
Um...I'm afraid of getting fat. All my life I've been told don't get fat, don't get fat, don't get fat by family members. It's translated into an obsessiveness and distorted body image. I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be, but that fear is still there that it will happen again.
Wow, if housework and looks are the winners in this tell-all, I hesitate to share at all. :)
(BTW, GREAT post Colleen!)
I was flipping through channels and actually saw part of the episode Colleen was talking about. Despicable to think you would risk your marriage and family for pocket money. There are so many other things that should be valued higher than your checking account.
That being said, I guess the thing(s) I dislike most about me personally would be my attitude. I sometimes have a hard time viewing the glass as half full. I also have a hard time with forgiveness and letting go. Those are big things to work on if I want to enter the gates of Heaven, but I'm trying.
As for cleaning, you can hire me if you want. I LOVE to clean - bathrooms especially. No kidding!
Hey Valerie, and all the rest of you, I'm reading a book on writing and it talks about CORE NEEDS. It's what shapes our behavior. I found it fascinating in general and would explain how we view life (glass half full, trouble with forgiveness, etc.)
Look here and see if you see yourself: http://www.trytel.com/~jfalt/colours/needs.html
I don't finish what I start. I had dozens of half-finished craft projects around the house before I realized, "Ummm, I'm not crafty." I got rid of it all. However, that brings me to another couple of faults: I'm a huge pack rat and a terrible housekeeper. Being a pack rat comes from my grandmother, but my mom is an excellent housekeeper, so surely I should have inherited that trait and the two could have cancelled themselves out. Sadly, that didn't happen. What's even more odd is that I LIKE to clean (mostly), but I find that it's only satisfying if there is a real mess to begin with. Kind of like the difference between washing a glass that held water and scrubbing a casserole dish that lasagna was baked in.
I confess enough secrets every time I blog.
But I'm enjoying reading everyone else's though. :-)
Wait, wait, wait! Is it wrong to want to read more than clean dust? I think not! Look, we will not always have time to read. Someday, all that dusting will be for nothing because we end up as dust. For all you know, dusting cleans great-great-great-great Aunt Lucretia or even Abraham Lincoln off your piano (or worse, your treadmill.) Sorry, but I do not consider reading over dusting a fault...
Read before you return to dust!
I am a Defense Reactor. Whenever someone offers even constructive critiscm I usually hear it as though they think I'm a stupid ignoramous uncapable of any sort of success. Of course, that's not AT ALL what's being said (particularly in the case of my husband), rather he's either inquiring as to why I did something the way I did so he can understand, or he's suggesting an alternate option that might be better. Basically, I am quick to defend myself because I assume I'm being attacked. Call me an emotional ninja. Ugh. ;)
BTW, I did watch that pathetic show. It reminded me of the Roman Coliseum. The crowd was actually cheering at the heartbreak. It was such a visual glimpse of depraved and heartbroken humanity. I was almost expecting a Gladiator and a raging lion to come out on stage and create a bloodbath - which the crowd probably would have loved. Sigh.
Based on your link, Colleen, I think I'm an Empatic Blue ;)
Well Colleen still looks like the size 10 to me and that is all that really matters. She is still the beautiful girl I married 36+ years ago. The house may be a mess but I help make it that way so I don't often say much about it. I usually just clean what ever bothers me at the time. I have gained a lot of weight since we got married but I don't let it bother me because it doesn't seem to bother Colleen.LOL
Dave,
Did God make more men like you?
There seems to be a shortage in my neck of the woods.
Isn't Dave something? LOL
He's got wireless access now and is actually spending time online. God help us all. LOL
awwww
what a sweet comment from Dave!
Colleen you're blessed to have such a nice guy!
I am blessed indeed!
Colleen, you have faults? Surely not! :)
I have to have hair gel because without it, my hair is a giant frizz ball. Seriously. I'm not being humble or anything here. When I showed my school pics to my daughter, for each year she said, pretty! pretty mom! Wow! And we got to eighth grade year and she said, "mom, your hair looked really funny! Not as good." I was having a hard time learning what to do with it, so it was a frizz ball...
And Dave is quite a guy!!
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My weaknesses? Wow, how much space do you have on this blog?
The biggest? Dark self-doubt. Fretting. But not all the time, every day, just when certain things hit - like a deadline.
I'm really weak in believing in my writing. I think it's all a fluke and one day someone will tell me the truth.
I'm okay with that, but it's h3ll waiting for it to happen. ;)
But, I'm overcoming. I'm saying what Jesus says about me.
I'm also not as disciplined as I'd like to be. Re: losing this 20 lbs I gained. Keeping off the internet when I should be writing...
This is good Colleen. The more we're aware of ourselves, the more we can ask the Lord to break in and help us - either overcome or just accept ourselves.
Peace.
I am a people pleaser and a perfectionist. I am overly critical of my family, my students and especially of myself.
You wouldn't catch me on that show for anything! Nope, I'm takin' my secrets to the grave with me. :o) And I plan on sliding from third!
I feel like that show is what I live with, with discernment. I hate the idea. I hate living with the knowledge that people don't like me when they don't. But I'm getting better as I get older and care less.
I am not going to be confessing anything, because I am in the mode of not talking cruelly to myself. I have done that enough of my life. I'm trying to focus on the good stuff because that's what I do with others. Why don't I give myself grace?
And why don't you? Why would you ever say the words OLD AND FAT??? ACK!!! What about beautiful and accomplished? Hmmm?
I'm a terrible house keeper. I actually don't like mess and clutter, but I'd rather read - and do just about anything else - than waste time scrubbing floors and such.
Okay, somehow I managed to delete my post. I was trying to add another line and I hit the wrong button. So...I guess I'll add computer illiterate to my list of things I don't like (sheepish grin). I don't remember what I said word for word in my original post, but I'm sure it was quite witty ;)
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