I had the perfect photo to insert here, but for some reason this program and I are not speaking again. So you won't get the cute picture. I'm so disappointed, because you would have loved it. Two of my favorite boys are featured in it, my husband first of all, of course, and one of our four cats, Data. So let that, and my title, serve as a warning of what's to come:
I've never been the best of housekeepers. I was so happy when our assistant took over many of those duties, and I know Mel's been secretly relieved, but she was gone last night when I finally rounded up the cats and got them into the basement. I have to keep the cats separated when they eat, because one of them has to have special diet because of her delicate composition and my delicate nose. When I checked them on my way to bed last night, I discovered that some of the regular food hadn't been eaten. Instead of sticking it into the laundry room downstairs and closing the door, for some reason I took it upstairs to the kitchen and set it on the counter so I could give it to them for breakfast in the morning. It's canned food, but our house stays cool.
Mel just happened to work last night, so he arrived home around 7 am. He has known for quite some time that I have a habit of cooking weird things late at night. We call it Ambien munchies. Yes, I'm trying to stop doing that, because it could be dangerous. Still, he saw the food on the plate on the counter when he came through the kitchen door, and thought maybe I'd concocted another one of my Ambien delicacies. One pinch of the soft food touched his tongue. I didn't hear the scream, because I was sleeping peacefully far down the hallway. I didn't hear the water running or hear him gargling or spitting. I was blissfully unaware of the whole thing until he brought up the subject this afternoon.
"Sweetheart," he said. "Today I ate something I've never eaten before."
"Oh, really? What was that, honey?" He knows I love to try new things.
"You know that stuff you left on the counter last night?"
I paused to think, and then I gasped.
Bonnie was in the other room working, but she heard him. "Hey, I saw that and wondered what it was, but I wasn't crazy enough to try to find out."
I looked at Mel. "You ate the cat food?"
"It looked like chocolate."
"You ATE the cat food?" I asked again, to the sound of Bonnie's insane laughter in the other room.
"Let's just say I tasted it."
I am constantly reminded that I'm blessed with a patient and loving husband with a fabulous sense of humor. I thank God for that, especially today.
Your turn. Have you ever done anything most embarrassing, funny, crazy or even a little gross? Care to share?
Delicious
15 Comments:
I'm going to start calling him St. Mel! LOL
He'll love it. But don't let his head swell too much. I still have to live with him.
Oh my word. I'm laughing so hard I may wake up the neighborhood!
He needs a t-shirt that reads: I Ate the Cat Food - and Lived to Tell About It.
Blech.
I don't think I've heard of anyone dying from eating pet food. The list of ingredents don't sound so great, but other than that... I've heard of vets who taste pet food to see if that is why the animals aren't eating. Truth be told, it is probably more unhealthy to keep animals in the house than it is to eat pet food.
that was a good one! :)
have I told you about the cookies I make inthe Mircowave?
when we were first married, I wasn't much of a cook. well one day I mixed up a batch of cookie dough. and wonder what they would taste like, if I baked them in the mircowave. when they were done they looked like they had been cooked in the oven, so I got DH to try one. that's when the show started, The cookie stated popping in his mouth, he thought i had put pop rocks in cookies!
or gun powder (his words) he thought oI was trying to kill him!
Oh my! That would never happen to me because I am the pickiest eater on the planet, but what a good sport. Just the thought of it would upset my tummy, but pets eat it so it can't really be harmful, right?
You know, Tracy, that may be a great idea. He'd love to wear the shirt. He might even wear it to work. Definitely not out to eat. LOL
Um, actually, Tim, I'm married to an ER doc. And you think our cats are LESS healthy for us? He walks in with tons of germs every time he comes home from work.
ROTFL!!! Oh, jel, that was hilarious! Sounds like something I would do. I bet they were delicious cookies, huh?
after they cooled a while, they were safe to eat ! they were good too :)
Love the post. Awesome word pictures.
I don't have an embarrassing moment to share with you today, but I do have an interesting fact about pet food:
Pet Food in Canada (not sure about the States), by law, is meant to be fit for human consumption. This includes all pet food (although personally I wouldn't put pig's ears, horse hoofs or smoked beef bones on that list) because there are many people on fixed incomes who cannot afford food, so they will buy pet food to eat.
This useless fact comes to you courtesy of my friend who is a vet.
I am still chuckling about the way you worded your post today. Keep it up. It's so much fun.
Mary-Louise, you answered Sandie's concern. Dog food and cat food have to be especially combined with nutrition that will keep the pets healthy. A lot of people who are without money depend on pet food because of the nutrition in the food, only we need different nutrition from animals. A lot of pet owners think they can keep their animals nutritionally sound with their own recipes, but it seldom works.
Loved this story! One of my favorite childhood stories was of my father returning late from work and frying up the canned dog food his mother had left in the ice box because he thought it was corned beef hash. Didn't realize until she couldn't find the dog food what he'd done.
Mary, that's hilarious! Oh, my goodness, how perfect! I've got to tell Mel about this, he'll get such a kick out of it. Thanks so much for sharing.
Hey Cheryl, I read your post late last night and wouldn't you know I got up this morning and saw that I had gotten out a knife and opened my big box poptarts from Amazon some time in the night! I have my Ambien munches almost every night, but usually I remember them, lol.
Oh, Cheri, I feel for you, honey. I remember better now than I used to, but those eating binges are NOT fun the day after.
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