Girls Write Out
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Looks can be deceiving.

So I’m shopping with my daughter the other day, and we’re in the lotion aisle. I’m always looking for something to soothe my skin, so I pick up a fancy bottle and examine it.

“Is this one of those tanning product deals?” I ask her.

She looks at the bottle in my hand. “Um, no. It just gives your skin a healthy glow.”

My daughter knows these things. I think she’s tried every product known to mankind. She shops eBay.

Well, I’m all over that healthy glow thing so I decide to buy it. I get the product home and that night when I get ready for bed, I pump a dollop of the white lotion in my hand and rub it over the rough heels of my feet. Oh man, it feels soooo good that I pump another dollop, and another, and another. With the remaining lotion on my hands (which isn’t much) I rub my neck and face. By the time I’ve finished, my feet are so slick, I slide all over the floor, so I opt to go to bed.

The next morning when I look in the bathroom mirror, I notice my face has a slight tan to it. My first thought is I must have gotten some sun the day before. I think little of it. Then while getting dressed, I look down at my feet and notice that my toes are, um, orange. With a gasp, I run to the nearest chair and lift my feet. My heels resemble cracked concrete. The bottoms of my feet are an ugly spotted brown with a tinge of orange. The palms of my hand are a mixture of brown and orange.

In short, I look like an orangutang.

How do I get myself into these messes? For those of you who have read Hot Flashes & Cold Cream, I guess I had a Maggie moment. *g*

Most of it has now worn off, but I know now before I get smear-happy the next time I’ll take a closer look at the product label.

DIANN
Colleen Coble  
posted at 8:38 AM  
  Comments (18)
 
 
Delicious Delicious
18 Comments:
At 8:41 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Di, only you would do something like this. LOL Little do your readers know that Maggie is YOU. LOL

 
At 9:15 AM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

LOL! Thanks for posting this, C!! I FINALLY got back on Internet this morning! It's like I've been to a foreign land or something. LOL!

Hey, girls, be sure to read the labels--unless you want to look like you stayed in Tahiti about a year too long!

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger mazzucasinswaziland said...

Oh my gosh! This story is so funny! Thanks so much for exposing your orange self to us. TOTALLY Made my day :)

 
At 12:40 PM, Blogger eileen said...

That would be so me! I'm always doing Maggie-ish things. Thanks for the warning Diann, before I turn up glow-in-the-dark too.

 
At 1:51 PM, Blogger Julie Carobini said...

At least you wouldn't have dashed out the door to your child's school without first looking in the mirror and noticing your orangish-hue. Um, not that I've ever done that...:*)

 
At 3:06 PM, Blogger Ane Mulligan said...

I rollig nhere, because I bought one of those, too. But I got out the latex gloves before applying it. :o) Then for my hands, I rubbed it on the backs, then quickly washed the palms. I came away with a light glow. I'm going to do more on my face and legs, using the gloves of course. :o)

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Girls, girls, your skin absorbs chemicals through it. If you get migraines from it, you'll know why.

 
At 8:43 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

I saw some woman buying that stuff in Target and I actually warned her. LOL I dropped a plate today and broke it in the coffee shop and I was astonished how everyone stared. For a LONG time! Okay, this is the bad part. I wasn't the LEAST bit embarrassed. I just watched everyone for their reactions to use in a book. That's bad. No personal responsibility. LOL

 
At 8:49 PM, Blogger Kellie said...

Diann, when I saw that Colleen had posted for you I thought that maybe it was your turn to go to Hawaii! At first I thought that it was Colleen who had had the Maggie moment...when I read the post the second time and realized it was you I laughed a little more! By the way, I read Hot Tropics and Cold Feet last month, right at a time that I needed a "beach getaway"...very fun read!

Colleen, your post on chocolate chip cookies carried a persuasive punch. I couldn't stop thinking about cookies and finally broke down and made some last night! As a fellow migraine sufferer (my migraines were at thier worst pre-babies...getting pregnant was my "hormonal" treatment!), I hope that you will be able to enjoy some (cookies!) very soon---migraine free!

 
At 10:45 PM, Blogger Katy McKenna said...

OK. I have this game I play with myself. I read the first phrase (not an entire sentence) of a post on Girls Write Out, and then guess who wrote it. After I guess (no fair thinking twice, either, it must be a quick guess!), I scroll down to see the author. I KNEW this one was by Diann, and was SHOCKED to see Colleen's name!!! I know, I'm twisted.

But not so twisted that I would try ANYthing that claimed to give me a "glow"! Glow is code for freakin' orange tan!!! :)

I do have LOTS of Maggie moments, though. LOTS.

Katy www.fallible.com

 
At 1:16 AM, Blogger Rachel Hauck said...

Too funny! Reminds me of the QT product of the '70s. I lived in south Florida and used it once before the beach.

I looked like the oranges we grow so well down here. LOL.

Di, we love you so much!

Rachel

 
At 8:59 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Katy, it IS Di's post! LOL She was gone so I posted it for her. Her name is in the blog portion. LOL

 
At 9:36 AM, Blogger Katy McKenna said...

C,
I did figure it out! It just took me a minute.... :)
A Maggie moment, I'm thinking....

Katy www.fallible.com

 
At 10:47 AM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

Kellie, glad you enjoyed Hot Tropics! Thanks for letting me know!

Katy, hilarious! I think it's pretty cool you can pick out our "voices." Might be scary, too.

LOL, Mazzucasinswaziland! I'm happy to show my "true" self on this blog. After all, you guys won't tell anyone, right?????

 
At 3:07 PM, Blogger Shauna said...

I actually tried some of this "spray-on tan". It came in a can and was supposed to be easier to get an even layer over your skin. I don't tan, so I wanted a little help for this wedding I was going to. I decided to give this can a test-drive.

I was an orange-striped zebra from the thighs down! I wore pants until it finally wore off and decided that glaring white legs was preferrable to the zebra look. I'm not much into animal prints! LOL!

 
At 4:31 PM, Blogger Pam S. said...

Ha! Ha! Diann, you crack me up! BTW, I read HOT TROPICS AND COLD FEET a few nights ago--I loved it and laughed my head off. (Thank you, again! I'm SO glad I got to be the one of the folks that "won" the book on this blog!) So...is it true as Colleen says? Are you really Maggie?!

 
At 5:00 PM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

Hilarious, Shauna!

LOL, Pam!! So glad you liked the book! I'm totally NOT Maggie (well, okay, maybe a little). But I would NEVER get my hair done in cornrows.

(I do like Donny Osmond, though) *g*

 
At 8:50 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Shauna, your story would be SOOO great in an always the bridesmaid story. To quote Ugly Betty
Hi -- wait for it -- larious!

 

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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

www.KristinBillerbeck.com

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

www.ColleenCoble.com

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

www.DeniseHunterBooks.com

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

www.DiannHunt.com

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

www.HannahAlexander.com

 
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