Girls Write Out
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
There is a puzzle that I've never understood and it recently came to the fore again with Kara's boyfriend Mark. Here's how the scene came down:

Me: "I'm getting worried. I haven't heard from Jim about Di's biopsy. And I don't have Jim's cell number, only Di's.'
Mark: "You might try calling her number. He might answer it."
Me: "Good idea! If he doesn't call by eleven, I'm so calling."
Mark: "On second thought, if Kara's phone rang, I wouldn't get in her purse." He shudders and gets this deer in the headlights expression.
Kara: There's nothing scary in there." (She's laughing.)
Mark: "There's just something about a woman's purse. It's mysterious and scary."

Now my husband concurs with this view. I just asked him. He said, "Some things you're better off not knowing--like what's in a woman's pocketbook." When I laughed and asked him what he might find he said, "A murder weapon!" LOL

But seriously, if he needs something from my purse, he carries it to me holding it out like it might bite. And even Mark acted out how he'd take the purse to Kara if her phone was ringing in it. And he held it out the exact same way Dave does. I know not as many men as women read our blog so maybe we'll get no answer to this perplexing question, but anyone have an idea from where this phenomenon comes? I think it's hilarious!
Colleen Coble  
posted at 9:35 PM  
  Comments (29)
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At 10:35 AM, Blogger Rachel Overton said...

Wow! I thought just my husband was weird! He's been that way for the entire 22 years we've been married. Can't--or won't--explain it; just doesn't want to get in there. He will go all the way UPSTAIRS to get the purse and bring it all the way to me in my BASEMENT office, rather than get in it for whatever tiny little thing he's looking for.

My daughter, on the other hand, paws right through it.

Go figure! :-)

At 10:55 AM, Blogger Julie Carobini said...

I think it's like touching a bra, Colleen. Or maxi pads. Just too intimate to 'handle', lol

At 10:57 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Oh my gosh, I never thought of that, Julie. LOL Rachel, rest assured your hubby is in good company!

At 12:08 PM, Blogger Kay said...

LOL! My husband does the exact same thing. Holds it out at arms distance. And even if I tell him to just get in there, he won't.

My 9 year old son hasn't learned that behaviour yet, however!

At 12:10 PM, Blogger Kay said...

oh, and my cell phone has a little pocket in the front. Today it was beeping from starvation and instead of taking it out, my husband plugged in my whole purse!

At 1:28 PM, Blogger Travis Erwin said...

I NEVER, I repeat NEVER delve into my wife's purse. Here is a list of reason why.

1) It opens the door for her to then go through my wallet and whiel I have nothign to hide it bugs me jsut the same. Why do you have this in here? Whose number is this? Why are you saving that receipt? I simply so not want to play 20 questions about the contents of my wallet. And she might find my secret stash of cash.

2) My wife's purse is a cornicopia of girly smells, Perfume samples, lotions and what not. My sinus can't take it. I hate to even be besdie her when she opens it up.

3) It's a mess. The few times I have dared dive in in search of something I never find it anyway. So why not just take the purse to her so she can reach in and pull it out.

4) Purses are for girls and it simply isn't manly to pilfer through tampon packages, lipstick containers and tubes of mascara. Yeah I have no problem writing a romace novel chocked full of emotion, but I squirm when my wife makes me so much as hold her purse.

So we men are weird, you didn't need me to reveal that.

At 1:30 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Oh I LOVE this, Travis! Thanks for that peek into a guy's thought processes. Just one thing though. I'd have no trouble pilfering through my husband's wallet even if he never touched my purse. So, you're in trouble, big guy. LOL

At 1:45 PM, Blogger Robin Caroll said...

My hubby's the same way. I asked him why and he gave me "that look"....y'all know the one I'm talking about--the one that says "surely you didn't ask such a stupid question". Like I'd just asked him how to change a timing belt or something (which I do know how to do, btw). But, for the sake of Colleen's "research", I pressed for an answer. His response?

Boys learn from their mothers when they're teens to NEVER, EVER go through a woman's purse. It's kinda like asking how old she is or how much she weighs. The equivilant of ordering your death certificate.

He has a point! LOL

At 1:47 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Ooh that's funny, Robin! Thank Case for his contribution to our formal survey. LOL

At 2:28 PM, Blogger Tricia said...

I love Travis’s observations.

My husband will not go through my purse. He always brings it to me. If he must carry it somewhere, (and he will do so only in DIRE emergencies) he holds it like a football.

This is a strange phenomenon

I have no trouble going through my husband’s wallet. :o)

At 2:57 PM, Blogger Sally said...

My husband is the EXACT same way, girls! I think maybe one time he's gone through my purse, looking for money...after I flat out refused to get it for him. He really wanted that $5!

Did you guys used to go through your girlfriends' purses? Like if you were sitting bored somewhere? It was always so fun to go through and see what your friend kept in her purse. =)

At 2:59 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Heck, I still go through them, Sally! Especially Kristin's. She has the best purses and it's fun to look at all the compartments and stuff. LOL

At 4:29 PM, Blogger Kellie said...

OK...I may have missed something since I have been behind on the blog reading lately...but you mention "Di" and "Biopsy" and am hoping all is well with Diane.

I didn't want to be nosy, but then I was I vaguely remembering her contagious-wear-a-mask issue and decided I would be. Praying that all is well.


At 4:32 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Di has had TWO biopsies in the past week. They ruled out TB and it looks like some kind of infection but they found some abnormal cells and wanted to make sure.

And may I say right here and now that her doctor is a total idiot? I'd like to string him up. He has totally RUINED her summer!

But she's doing great and we should hear the final diagnosis by next week.

At 4:42 PM, Blogger Kellie said...

Goodness! I will pray that everything comes back normal.

On a side note, my mom and I have always had certain circumstances that were deemed "chocolate" worthy. Usually meaning a two pound assortment from our local chocolate shop. These circumstances are almost always "female" specific: having babies or major surgery. But there are other circumstances as well...

I definetly think two biopsys in a week (and a bummer summer) are most "chocolate worthy"! Hang in there Diane!


At 5:35 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Whatever it is, it's the same reason they want YOU to find the ketchup in the fridge! Even when it's staring them in the face. They don't seem to have that trouble with a beer now do they?

At 6:56 PM, Blogger Steph said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 6:57 PM, Blogger Steph said...

My theory is that they just don't want to touch "woman things."

I heard a story about a woman who wanted to take her camera to a concert, but there were no cameras allowed. So she hid the camera in a tampon box and then made sure to go through a line that had a male security guard. As soon as he saw the playtex box, her let her right through.

At 6:58 PM, Blogger Steph said...

*he let her go

At 7:19 PM, Blogger Rachel Hauck said...

Depends on the man, don't you think?

Tony won't go in my purse because it's not ordered the way he would order it, thus the way his brain is wired and one peek inside and he short circuits.

And, to Travis's point, I think men don't want to go in our handbags because once they do, we know they CAN and will expect them to do it again. ;)


At 2:07 AM, Blogger Anna Marie said...

I'm loveing this!

At 8:23 AM, Blogger Winter said...

Okay, maybe my hubby's wired differently, but he will GO through my purse.

Usually, it's to dig out my wallet to remove all extra change except for quarters so he can put it in the kids piggy bank. But that's as far as he goes because I never used to carry a purse and he knows where I keep the wallet. Though at times I have noticed my gum pocket has been ransacked after he's been through it.

At 8:24 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Winter, I'm cracking up. Now we know what motivates your man. LOL

At 9:31 AM, Blogger Pammer said...

My husband does the exact same thing. I do remember it started after I asked him to fetch something from my purse. We had friends over and when I passed him in the living room I asked, "Why are you digging in Dena's purse?" He was horrified because he thought it was mine! LOL. Now he just brings it to me.

I think part of the problem is the unkown. And part is impatience because they don't know where anything is.

Then again, I find my mil's purse intimidating. However, I will squinch up my eyes and dive in if I have to, :).

At 9:39 AM, Blogger Pammer said...

Steph's post reminded me of something. Back in my wilder days I snuck a fifth of something alcholic into a concert in the bottom of my purse. They were digging through them at the door. But I already thought of that. I put the bottle at the bottom and threw in on top, bras, undies and pads. The guy opened my purse, took one look at the contents and handed it back. LOL. (I would like to state the alcoholic beverage wasn't for me, but my boyfriend.)

At 9:44 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Pammer, I am SHOCKED! LOL Not. LOL

At 10:31 AM, Blogger Timothy said...

A woman’s purse is uniquely female in nature. We guys don’t carry purses and do not want to let people think that we do. It is like boys and dolls. Boys do not play with dolls and those that do call them action figures instead. If a boy plays with a girl’s doll, he does not hold it like a baby, he holds it by a foot or a leg to show that he knows it is not a real baby. He may even rip off the head or throw it around like a ball. With men and purses, many men will not get something out of his wife’s purse and hand it to her because she will know where he got it and that means that he has to admit that he was using her purse. If she has him hold it while she is off doing something, he may not hold it in the normal way because it makes it look like it is his purse. If no one is watching and no one will find out, then it really does not matter, but it amounts to how things might look to other people.

At 12:48 PM, Blogger Betsy Ann said...

My hubby does the arms-out-scared-to-death-purse-march, too! And he refuses to hold it in public for me. I have to put it on the floor and or over my neck if I need my arms in public for something. LOL Oh well. He's my country boy, I love him anyway =)

At 9:30 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Timothy, I'm glad you were brave enough to chime in. Now we know that inherently female things are a bit intimidating. LOL

Betsy, my husband will hold my purse when I go to the bathroom but he just won't look in it. LOL


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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

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