Girls Write Out
Thursday, August 09, 2007
We’re at the San Diego Zoo, waiting in line for the double decker bus tour when my eight-year-old son begins rubbing my arm. I’m wearing very short sleeves and his light touch is a pleasant distraction from the long wait.

A few minutes later, I become aware that he’s leaning close to my arm—my elbow to be precise. “Mom, did you know you have globby skin back here?” He tugs the skin and stretches it an inch from its home. I resist the urge to yank my arm from his prying hands and look around to see if all our neighbors saw my Stretch Armstrong skin.

“Her arms are gooshy too,” my middle son loudly chimes in. Apparently, my arms have inspired a new word. Her arms are gooshy too, I mimic silently to myself, wagging my head. Who taught these kids about honesty anyway? It’s highly ove .

It’s then I become aware that my youngest is not really caressing my arm. More like squeezing the back of it gently. I realize he’s been doing this all along, as if he finds the texture intriguing. Like one of those stretchy pillows filled with tiny Styrofoam balls that you think you can squeeze just once, but then once you do, you can’t stop.

Okay, so maybe my arms are a little . . . softer than they used to be but does that mean I qualify as a human squish toy? Apparently so. Nonetheless, I have declared arm-squeezing off limits. And all skin is going to remain right where it is. Gravity is doing enough stretching, thank you very much.
Denise Hunter  
posted at 9:34 AM  
  Comments (15)
 
 
Delicious Delicious
15 Comments:
At 10:20 PM, Blogger Jaime said...

LOL!!
My Mom has a quote in my scrapbook from when I was a kid. Apparently I was doing the same thing to my Mom's hand and then I declared matter of factly, "Momma, you've got Gramma skin!"

I'm not quite sure why she wrote it down to be engraved in a scrap book for all time ... she probably didn't think I was too cute at that moment! :)

Just do what I do and wear long sleeves! :)

 
At 10:27 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Today, I was at Raging Waters (water slide park) with the kids, and all I could think is that it is really a cruel thing God does to the body after children. I mean, there are moms there whose chest has been completely sucked dry from breast feeding, and your other option -- there are moms there who are so inflated they look like they'll spill over.

It's just not right after we share our bodies for so long, we're left looking deflated, it's really not.

 
At 11:25 PM, Blogger Sabrina L. Fox said...

LOL, Denise...boys!!! Gotta love 'em. My Tanner is always pointing out my flaws in such a sweet, kind way. And then he looks so confused when I'm irritated.

 
At 9:22 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

A few years ago when my daughter was about 7 I would take her into the fitting rooms with me at the mall. One day in the room at Penney's I was trying on some clothes and she suddenly decided to do a play-by-play of my body,
"Mom, your knees are fat"
"Mom, I can see your butt"
"Mom, your chest is big"

She was talking so loud that I knew other people had to hear it, I tried to hush her but it was to no avail.

 
At 10:34 AM, Blogger Kay said...

My daughter was lying next to me in bed and caressing my tummy when she began to massage it rather than caress. Then she infomed me that it was the consistency of bread dough.
Great. I was hoping no one would ever notice.

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

I can relate to all the above unfortunately. Between child bearing and gravity, we're all doomed. LOL

 
At 2:50 PM, Blogger Susan Wales said...

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES!

Children are so honest it hurts. My husband and I just took our five year old granddaughter to Washington D. C. Dashing off to a political event, I was rushing to get dressed in the hotel room and wasn't as modest as I usually am. Hailey shrieked. "GaGa, what are your boobs doing down there? Look! They fell down! Mommy's are standing up here," she pointed just under her neck. I wanted to say well, babe, Mommy is 27 years old, but I didn't bother.

Later when were getting settled in our seats on the airplane, Hailey dropped a bottle of chocolate milk. When I dove down to get it, she made an announcement to the long line of passengers boarding the plane, "Watch out everybody or GaGa's big bumper will get you." Even the men who passed by, stopped to pat me on the back and offer me words of sympathy.

When I sat down in my seat, I said to Hailey, "You know GaGa's not sensitive about her weight, but some people are, and it's just not polite to talk about people's body parts or their weight.

"Oh, it's okay Gaga for you to be fat" she informed me."because you're really, really, really old."

Needless to say when I got home I went on a big fitness kick. I'm dieting and exercising, but I still haven't figured out how to get my bustline to stand at attention. Can any of you share your secrets?

So Ladies, if you think your kids are brutal on your body . . . just wait until you have grandkids!

 
At 4:25 PM, Blogger Crystal Warren Miller said...

iLOL, Denise, this is so...so...awful! My four boys were always doing junk like that to me.

But when my boys were really small, a friend of mine took my oldest, about 6, to the park to give me a break. He's behind her on the slide, looking at her backside and says to her, "You've got the biggest butt I've ever seen!"

She said, "Well, compared to your mother's, it probably is." (And that was a whole body ago...)

But she just laughed. I was, of course, mortified--every single stinking time she told that story.(I love that friend.)

Now I mortify my boys by doing things like wearing black leather pants, or (shudder) Harley Davidson leather motorcycle chaps.

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger Ane Mulligan said...

No kidding! I can sure relate to that! Someone replaced the skin on my body one night while I was sleeping. I woke up one morning, and it had funny wrinkle marks on it ... kind of like when you throw a rock in the water.

Ick.

I'm going back to bed.

 
At 4:44 PM, Blogger Ane Mulligan said...

Oh, yeah, and wait till the day your son says, "Hey Mom ... do you know you have a mustache?"

Can you get in trouble for stuffing a 14 year-old in the washing machine?

 
At 6:58 PM, Blogger Susan Wales said...

Crystal, you're right! It's worse when your children tell someone else. During that same Washington trip, we were having dinner with a politician and he asked Hailey if she had any questions. She asked, "Why are you so hairy? You look like a gorilla. My husband and I wanted to dive under the table. He was gracious and said, "Don't tell me the little girls are going to give me trouble about that too."

 
At 7:46 PM, Blogger WordVixen said...

Oh- I so remember doing this to my mother's elbow... Poor mom.

 
At 8:17 PM, Blogger Shauna said...

My sons are 5 and 3 and taking them to the public washrooms is a bit of an issue. I won't let them go alone, so we all troop off together to the ladies room. One particular day I decided to quickly take care of my needs since we were using the large stall. I'm sitting there and my three year old shouts, "mom, you have a big bum."

Yeah, I turned three shades of red, but I also burst out laughing! LOL!

 
At 4:37 PM, Blogger Deena said...

My son, who is 13, announced one day that he liked hugging me more than hugging his dad. When we asked him why, he said "It's because Mom is pillowy soft!"

How do you get insulted by that??

 
At 8:41 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Oh my gosh, this is HYSTERICAL! Thank goodness they'll be grown when you're my age. LOL

 

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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

www.KristinBillerbeck.com

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

www.ColleenCoble.com

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

www.DeniseHunterBooks.com

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

www.DiannHunt.com

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

www.HannahAlexander.com

 
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