Don't know where my blogging partners are, but girls, feel free to shut me up! It's like a blank page here, I can't let it go!
Today I went to the funeral of my college roommate's dad. What a great man he was -- I just saw him when we went to Barry Manilow this month and he looked great, so it was a shock.
Anyway, the priest spoke about TRUTH and he was hilarious (my friend's dad was a GREAT , FUN man and his funeral was a joyous celebration of his life.) But it dawned on me why I have such a hard time in the Christian faith while at the funeral. I was raised Catholic. Catholics are usually Italian or Irish (at least the ones I grew up with) and they hold nothing back -- not emotions, not a good debate. They say what they think.
This is my background. I say what I think. Honestly, I don't ever remember this getting me into trouble as a Catholic, but there is so much culture immersed in Christianity that a difference of opinion is often judged as "sin". Ie., I knew Catholics who drank the hard stuff, Catholics who never touched a drop. Catholics who curse like sailors (including some priests) and sweet, little women who covered their heads in Mass everyday.
I'm not saying all Christians are like this or that, I'm saying for me, it's been a very hard transition to fit into the Christian culture. To be told when you're sick with MS and can't take care of your kids that it's sin in your life causing your illness??? That was incredible to me. Why is this Christian culture so jumpy to tell everyone how they're sinning? I grew up Catholic, trust me, we know when we're sinning. We are nothing if not guilt-ridden and needing a good dose of absolution each day.
To tell you the truth, I feel redeemed going to that funeral today. I will miss this wonderful man, but if you could have heard engineer after engineer get up and tell how this man changed the course of their life, maybe you might not have seen his lifelong smoking habit that eventually got his lungs as "sin", but as human weakness. We all have it, why can't we extend each other a little more grace in the church? Just a question to ponder. Kristin
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Kristin, I SO get where you're coming from! I'm the Irish counterpart to your Italian. I think I still do an "examination of conscience" most nights before I fall asleep. But when I became a "Christian" at age 17, the "sins" got switched up on me!! I'd never been a smoker, for instance, but it had not crossed my mind that smoking was a sin. Same with drinking. Suddenly, I felt condemed all the time because I couldn't fulfill everyone else's ideas of what it meant to be "good." (And while I'd felt "guilty" as a Catholic, I was used to confessing my sins and experiencing forgiveness as a result).
The thing is, I was a goody-goody Catholic kid and knew my mortals and venials backwards and forwards. I haven't been able to keep up with everything I'm doing wrong since "crossing over." :)
It reminds me of our sermon yesterday. The minister said "I know Jesus is for me," then he quoted, "If God is for us, who can be against us." He was in the middle of a great sermon about confidence. It struck me though that some things are a matter of opinion not scripture, and if we are saying I know God's for me, it can be a slippery slope to say if you're against me then you must be sinning. I'm not sure where the line is, but I think as Christians it's a habit. I left church thinking I'm going to have to pray about it this week.
I totally understand what you're saying. Most Christians fall into the trap of looking at others before they take a good look at themselves.
I heard sins explained one time as anything that comes between you and God is a sin. Meaning if you're not in God's will, there's a sin there coming in between you and God. Hope that makes sense :)
It's good to hear your thoughts on this. I guess where I struggle is that I can't remember someone ELSE telling me something was the result of my sin, and I've heard that a lot since being a Christian in the evangelical sense. No one can really know if what you're up to is a direct result of sin, not really.
I have great friends who tell me how it is, and they tell me when I'm off. To me, that is far different from someone telling me that something I'm going thru is a result of sin. I just don't know how you could seek to know that. Especially with all Job went through. If God is really all-punishing, all the time, then how could the Gospel be true? Of course we want to please God all the time, but we are human.
Kristin,
I completely understand where you are coming from on the issue of bad health being a result of sin. The other thing I hear a lot is "you just don't have enough faith that God will heal you."
This is an issue that really bothers me. I feel God is truly the only one who knows why I've fought a muscle disease since I was 7 years old. Now, at 23 years old, as I look over my life, I can honestly say I can see instances where God allowed this struggle to grow me in ways spiritually I may have never grown if I had been "normal." I believe that God could heal me at any moment if He sees fit, but at the same time as I read in the Bible about how struggles and trials make us more like Christ, I begin to wonder if going through this illness has in some ways been a gift. I think God has a plan for our lives, and sometimes that includes trials of all kinds. It is my job to just be the best Christian I can be, in sickness and in health.
I love this quote from Jennifer Rothschild: "Faith is not meant to offer an escape from life's difficulties; its purpose is to give us the strength to endure them. God allows hardship because of His great mercy and love for us, and He often removes it for the same reason."
Steph
Steph, where do you suppose that thinking comes from? Biblically, of course we have unconfessed sin in our life, but so do they, so why us? Saint Paul sure seemed to put his life on the line for Jesus, and yet he had some thorn in his side?
Who knows why God sends us through some of the trials. I like to believe it's to grow in maturity/humility and ultimately to become more Christlike in our walk. KB
Kristin,
You summed up a lot of what I feel.
I think if illness was a result of unconfessed sin, everyone would have an illness of some sort! I really don't understand where the thinking comes from. Not to mention, in my life I've seen instances of people who were not living right who were perfectly healthy and carefree, while people who I considered to be great Christlike examples suffered from one hardship or another.
I completely agree--I do feel like God uses these seasons in our life to grow us in maturity and to become more Christlike in our walk. When I reflect I feel I can see why God allowed this to happen to me in some ways, but I don't think I'll ever fully understand until I reach Heavens Gates.
~Steph
The rain truly falls on the just and unjust alike. The benefit Christians have is our God who walks through our trials with us. I don't know why we don't just love each other. I guess because we are still human.
Blessings~~
Kristin, you are so right. I have been a Christian since I was a little girl. I became a Catholic last year. My husband never pressured me to convert, but I went to my church every Sunday morning and to Mass with him later that day. We all love and worship the same God, but I found what I needed in the Catholic church. This was a very thought-provoking post. Thank you.
Sister Honey Bunch, I know quite a few women who have done this now. Interesting. The things I really miss is the Reverence and the formality of the sacraments. I think it's hard to ever get to a place where you think of Jesus as your friend when you've been Catholic.
I took my kids to the mission at Santa Clara University and they were like animals. I was trying to explain the stations of the cross, and they're like running around looking at everything. I realized not meeting in a church has its DOWNSIDE for my kids. Sheesh. I was like, get over here. This is a church!!! LOL
Kristin,
For someone to be so sure of themselves as to say your MS is a result of your sin, well, I think they need to be a bit more careful. It rains on the just and the unjust (those justified by faith and those not yet justified by faith). How are we to comfort with the comfort we've been given if we've never had need of and received comfort ourselves? My son didn't have CF due to his sin or my husband's or my sin though heaven knows I've committed my share. I'm so sorry someone who probably thought he/she was being Biblical (and had good intentions) took a stupid pill before coming to talk with you.
I remember hearing a pastor who changed my whole way of thinking. He quoted John 14:15 and asked how many viewed that as a command. Most raised their hands. Then he said, "What if it is an assurance? An if/then? Focus on the love and the obedience will follow." The love comes first because God IS love.
Sharon, wow, that was a simple way to say that and it's full of brilliance, thanks for sharing that.
Jenny, you're so right, we just can't know what God is using to grow us, and what He is using to slap us upside the head. If I can't be sure, how can someone else?
I think I get slapped around plenty. LOL
Kristin,
I do notice that difference, not because I was raised Catholic and am now Protestant (BTW - I do struggle with calling the two groups Catholic and Christian, as if Catholics are not Christians), but anyway, I notice it because I am watching this issue rear its ugly head regularly on a Protestant University campus with its minority of Catholic students. Your posting gave language to what I have been observing and I am forwarding it to my collegues in student development for their consideration. Thank you for verbalizing this perspective - I think it will spark some good discussion among us.
Kristin,
I know I'm getting in late on this post, but I just had to comment. I read your post and thought about the judgment that I too have sadly seen in the Christian community. I do not understand why some Christians are so quick to believe that if you are sick that you have sinned or that you don't have enough faith. I think they like to believe that because it gives them some amount of control over God. They believe that if they do everything right and don't have unconfessed sin in their lives and have enough faith, then they will be healthy. But as many of us know, God doesn't work like that.
I think of the passage from John 9: "As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, 'Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?' 'Neither this man nor his parents sinned,' said Jesus, 'but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.'"
I can only hope that we in the Christian community can become less judgmental and learn to not argue or create walls between one another over the non-essentials of the Christian faith.
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