Girls Write Out
Sunday, January 27, 2008

I was watching "Project Runway" the other night, and this designer who won in the 501 Jean design competition started getting teary. So our hostess with the mostest, Heidi Klum, asks him what's going on, and he stammers out something like this, "This is such a roller coaster. Do I suck? Do I not suck? It's just a crazy ride." And designer Michael Kors said, "And it never ends."

I was stunned. It's the same in designing as it is in writing? Are all creative people stuck on this wild ride? "Jane, stop this crazy thing!" (For you youngins, that's a reference to the Jetsons." Working in the creative field feels like such a battle some days. You love it, you hate it. You fight every inch of the way to get the idea on paper into a cohesive story while juggling everything else in life. Then, you battle editing and marketing and distribution and it really is that daily I suck? Do I not suck?

Wouldn't it be great if we could just dwell in the fact that we're worthy in God's eyes? Well, sure it would, but I'm a girl and what I really want is this incredible Bottega Veneta handbag and even though I should know better, and I shouldn't covet and blah blah blah. I still want the stinkin' supple leather!!! I want my work to matter. And for me, this is measured by Italian leather. Sue me. I'm shallow. But please, let me be shallow with a great handbag.

Okay, the picture is an aye aye -- a relative of the lemur. We used to have some at the SF Zoo, but they're gone now. Anyway, can you look at this thing and not laugh? We need this kind of presence on a Monday morning.
posted at 11:24 PM  
  Comments (18)
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At 9:31 AM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

Oh my goodness, that picture just CRACKED ME UP!!! It is totally how I look on a Monday morning.

Interesting blog. Seems we creative types live in a similar world.

At 1:56 PM, Blogger Ane Mulligan said...

That thing - whatever it is - has a very disturbing resemblence to me in the morning. Only my hair is all on top of my head, sort of like Mohawk. Sad but true.

Get the bag. We all need an ego bolster now and again. ;)

At 4:45 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

I can't afford the bag. I'm just coveting for my own Monday morning pleasure. At this point in life, I would never spend that kind of money on a bag, but it's depressing that material goods can make me that happy. It really is.

I still crack up at that picture. I put it on my desktop because it reminds me of the way I feel most of the time. LOL

At 5:11 PM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

I think that picture pretty much represents all aspiring writers who find out they're being published for the first time. :-)

At 5:30 PM, Blogger Katy McKenna said...

Kristin, I just got the book "Art & Fear," at Brandilyn's recommendation. It looks really enlightening. As artists, we may be the people in the world most likely to live with the constant "Do I suck? Do I not suck?" voices in our heads. And not just in our heads, either!! It's real live people (editors, agents, readers...) alternately telling us we suck or don't suck. Hard to know what to believe, I tell ya!

Katy McKenna

At 5:38 PM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

Katy, let me know how you like the book. It's sounds like one I need to read.

At 6:09 PM, Blogger Kayla said...

Oh gosh, I know what you mean. I have a huge case of the Mondays right now and I'm really wondering why I'm double majoring in useless squared. Will I ever make it?

I was always one of those people that wanted everything planned out and secured, and when God told me that He wanted me to be a writer, I think I screamed. I'm really thankful for God, though, because I can't imagine being on the creative roller coaster without knowing that He will provide.

At 6:44 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

I didn't buy that book "Art & Fear" because I bought the "Artist's Way" and it was total word salad to me. Didn't make a speck of sense, so I thought, clearly, my mind doesn't get these types of thought books.

At 6:51 PM, Blogger Tina said...

That thing is cute, in a freaky sort of way. Thanks for the laugh!

At 9:57 PM, Blogger Melanie said...

And I thought waking up to find a squirrel in my bedroom was frightening. I think I see where the aye-aye got its name.

I came over here from another blog that also had a post on the uncertainties — in that case, competition — of writing.

Fear and self-doubt are such issues for me. In my teen and college years, I won every contest I entered. I had an essay in Seventeen at 15. I was offered jobs before I got out of college.

And then, something happened. No more big fish, small pond. No more wunderkind. Just me, with my words, afraid that my words are so much of me, that a rejection of my words equals rejection of me.

And so my words set on my computer, for my eyes only.

God, may I have some courage, please?

On a much lighter note, Kristin, your Ashley Stockingdale is showing.

At 8:17 AM, Blogger Katy McKenna said...

Denise and Kristin, I have only just started to read it, so I can't personally vouch for it yet. However, Brandilyn did a whole series of blog posts about it recently, which might interest you. K, I know what you mean about The Artist's Way. It was pretty spooky for me. I think this book is more about how artists are NORMAL people, and that there really are very few prodigies (sic? somehow the way I spelled that looks like a kind of poodle!) and it's FINE NOT TO BE one. What's NOT fine is to be so stuck on the idea of being "perfect" that you don't finish any work.


At 11:23 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

Melanie, it's been months since I bought a purse. That brings out my Ashley and makes me itchy.

That is so cool about Seventeen! It's sort of how I feel about the Today Show -- well, there it is. Now what? LOL We're pathetic, aren't we?

Katy, finish the book and maybe you can talk me into it, but I hardly think I'm normal. : )

At 11:40 AM, Blogger Melanie said...

As Patsy Clairmont wrote: Normal is Just a Setting on Your Dryer.

I'm 35, single and childless. I shouldn't be quoting Patsy Clairmont, but then again, I'm not normal;)

Kristin, I found a Tig bag at TJ Maxx this week for $45. As a newspaper copy editor, that's as close to an Ashley purchase as I can get. But that soft leather. It just called to me.

Hey, a call to my doctor last Monday barely saved me from a Heath Ledger moment last week as she advised against mixing two particular drugs. At least retail therapy isn't going to kill me.

At 1:49 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

That designer on Project Runway, Ricky is his name. He starts crying EVERY SINGLE TIME he opens his mouth! If you watch a Project Runway marathon you practically need a life raft to keep from drowning, lol.

At 3:41 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Rachel, thanks for the heads up. I thought, ohhh poor Ricky, but now that I know he is whiny AND a lingerie designer, well, whatever. LOL

At 8:34 PM, Blogger Becky said...

At first glance, I thought the Aye Aye was some kind of fancy new dog breed (A ToyPoo-huahua, perhaps?)they were trotting out as the next big thing, lol.

At 12:13 PM, Blogger Sally said...

Kristin - you DO NOT suck! I wait and wait for your next book to come out, so just remember that. =)

But, I can see how your work can be stressful...just know I will buy every book you put out, and I'll go see the Ashley movie when it comes out, too!

At 6:41 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Sally, thank you for saying I do not suck. LOL I'm finishing a chapter that might make you question your support, but I appreciate it nonetheless.


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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

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