Girls Write Out
Friday, March 09, 2012
Colleen mentioned this week in her blog that my mother passed away two weeks ago. Caring for Mom in her illness has kept me focused on her for quite some time, and I've done little more. Hence, I've written few blogs to some of my favorite blog girls. I've missed y'all.

Though I'm an only child with no children of my own (except for my wonderful stepsons) I was surrounded by family from before the night Mom passed away and for a whole week afterward. Our house was packed, and those days I would otherwise have spent in grief recalling the awful last days of Mom's life, I spent instead with Mel, and cousins and my uncle and close friends keeping food in my mouth whether I wanted it or not, keeping me active and distracted, even taking me to get a massage.

The day after everyone left was the first time I had alone, and I cried all afternoon, despite the fact that Mom was a staunch believer, and I knew she was forever out of pain. I could close my eyes and see Mom's face, eyes open wide in fear when she didn't know what was happening to her in her demented state. The memories of Mom's suffering were like a haunting I could not shake, and I walked around the house devastated, sat on her bed and sobbed.

But then I received an email from yet another cousin, who is a missionary in China. She'd been trying to reach me for several days, but their systems don't always work where she lives. She'd had a dream the night before Mom died, in which she saw Mom in the arms of Jesus. Her words brushed away those awful memories that had haunted me. I don't even have to close my eyes to see that picture in my mind. Yet another cousin to the rescue. Have I mentioned that I love my cousins? So now I can attend grief counseling for six weeks and learn how to do this right--if there's really a right way to do it.

Last night I was alone again while Mel worked a late shift. I went down to the basement laundry room to check on his scrubs, and my attention caught on the row of Mom's clothing we'd hung there because we had run out of room in her small closet upstairs. For the first time, I didn't feel pain at the sight of something that reminded me of Mom. In fact, I smiled. I walked over to the first shirt and caressed it. Mom had no more use for these clothes because she is now dressed in her heavenly clothing, and she's in the arms of Jesus. There is sadness and pain in suffering, and there is a sense of loss when someone you love is no longer with you. But in truth, there is great joy with the realization that the one you love is with Christ in heaven, never again to be confused or frightened, never again to suffer pain.

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Hannah Alexander  
posted at 10:41 AM  
  Comments (9)
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At 2:19 PM, Blogger Tracy Ruckman said...

Beautiful, Cheryl.


At 4:02 PM, Blogger Hannah Alexander said...

Bless you for your prayers and supper throughout, Tracy.

At 6:32 PM, Blogger jel said...

here's a hugg from me too! :)

At 11:33 PM, Blogger Hannah Alexander said...

Thanks, jel. Hugs back, and give your own mother an extra hug for me.

At 10:13 AM, Blogger Jackie S. said...

Thanks for sharing, Cheryl....this is beautiful. Have missed you and been praying for you!!! Hugs!!!

At 11:34 AM, Blogger Mary F. Allen said...

It's beautiful to think of her dressed in Christ's righteousness, all aglow with joy and great contentment,waiting for you. I'll look forward to meeting her someday.

At 2:46 PM, Blogger jel said...

will do!

she will like that! :)

At 11:23 PM, Blogger Hannah Alexander said...

Um, Tracy, I didn't mean to bless you for your supper, I meant to bless you for your support. Not crazy about this program's spellcheck. LOL

Jackie, thank you for the prayers. Those are what kept us going.

At 12:23 AM, Blogger Hannah Alexander said...

Thank you, Mary. I look forward to seeing her again and getting to know her as she is now, in heaven, without all the worries and pain of the world on her shoulders.


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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

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