
It's funny how the things we writers deal with make their way into our books. I'm rewriting an old romance and adding a suspense thread to it. I'd intended for Lucy's issue to be that she likes to fix things. She has trouble letting go of control. Ahem, somewhat like me. Actually, no, a LOT like me! LOL You ever notice how just when you think you've learned something, God shows you that you're not a very good student?
Case in point: A bare month ago I told you all how Diann's illness had shown me that our path is not to happiness in this life but to our eternal home in heaven. That eternity is what it's all about. Ah, I'd arrived. Then BAM. My Dave was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer a couple of weeks ago. I thought about blogging about it last week but I was still too upset to tell you about it.
Now I know the truth is still that our path is towards eternity, not happiness in this life. But I want to fix Dave's cancer. I want to fix Diann's cancer too. I have a real problem letting go and letting God take charge. Maybe because I'm the oldest of four kids and I mother everyone. But I'm a fixer. And it's so difficult for me to take my hands off and say, okay, God, he's yours. I KNOW he is in God's hands. And I know God knows what's best. But that's head knowledge. In my heart, I want to grab back the reins and make it turn out the way I want. We won't know if Dave's cancer has spread until he has surgery April 26. The waiting is killing me! But I need to look and see what God is trying to teach me.
And wouldn't you know it, Lucy is struggling with the same thing. Which is maybe why this book has been so hard for me to write. So prayers would be appreciated for my Dave, for Diann, and for me to rest in knowing God knows what is best.
How about you? What area to you struggle with?
Labels: prostate cancer, Trusting God