A few years ago, we had a missionary stay with us. On a plane of 400 people, she was literally the last person off the plane. She was in San Francisco for a class and she was
never on time. Finally, the teacher told her if she was late, or missed one more class, she was out of the program. As we saw her off , I asked my husband, "Knowing what we know now, is it any wonder she was the last person off that plane? It was a sign."
And so it goes with parenting. When you're young and ignorant as a parent, you believe the "experts" when they say your kid should do this or do that -- but as they get older, you come to see, well no wonder that didn't work, I was raising (insert child name here). Example? I had a child who would not eat meat and he was so thin! I worried he'd starve to death. I read all the experts, they told me to introduce new foods at least three times. I should try covering the foods with condiments they enjoy. I should make eating fun by making the meat look like an octopus or bug. Still, nothing. The kid wouldn't eat meat. So I went to my pediatrician and said somewhat frantically, "Dr. Lathrop, Treyman won't eat meat! Only a McDonald's hamburger, that's it!" The doctor was ready to retire, and he responded to my dramatics calmly, "So once a week, take him to McDonald's and buy him a hamburger."
,
Well, duh.
I believe you've graduated as a mother when you learn to listen to your own instincts, and blow off people who judge your kids so harshly, when you become their ally, their staunchest defender when they are wrongly accused. You have great kids who were put on this earth to do whatever God DESIGNED them to do. Not what the experts say they are designed to do.
Treyman is 13 on Sunday. Dang, he's a fabulous kid. Funny! Smart! Gorgeous! (yeah, I know, I'm his mom) but Trey has never been broken easily and he's always had a mind of his own. He was not an easy kid to parent. I have the ER bills to prove it. He'd just wander off. He was afraid of nothing! (In fact, to teach him to swim, I let him fall in the pool to prove to him it was dangerous -- he wasn't going to listen!) Now that he's thirteen, I find this a fabulous trait because he's not a follower. And here's the beauty part about parenting adolescents, the humiliation power shifts. Now, my dancing to an 80's tune in the coffee shop, will send him RUNNING for the door. "Mom, you are soooooo embarrassing!" he says, rolling his eyes.
"Of course I am," I tell him. "I learned from the master."
One of my favorite Trey stories is when our new church held its first outdoor Good Friday service. It was dinnertime, so I told the boys "Let Mommy take communion and then go to the car and we'll get dinner." I took communion with my baby girl in my arms, my boys obediently following behind me like three little ducklings. As we get back to the mini-van, I'm having one of those proud mommy moments that everything worked like it was supposed to! I'm imagining the parenting book I will someday write...
Then, with horror, I notice that Trey has the entire communion loaf of French bread in his hands, and he's ripping it in half to share with his brothers. "It's good, huh?" he's asking them. The hunter was sharing his spoils and he wore the smile of a proud warrior. He never stood still for a moment, and I think the fact that he's alive and well at thirteen is a testimony to the fact that I ROCK as a mother! LOL But oh, the days I sobbed.
The Trophy Wives' Club is starting to ship, so preorder your copy now and be the first on your block to own it. : )
--
www.kristinbillerbeck.com
www.girlswriteout.blogspot.com
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11 Comments:
Unlike me, neither of my brothers have children. At least until December. That's when my brother and wifey will welcome my nephew into this world (very yay :)--I'm an auntie!)
However, would it be diabolical of me to admit how much I'm looking forward to returning all of my brother's 'parenting' advice to him? LOL
I don't have any kids,but I must say.
Good Job Kris! and to all you Rockin' Mom's out there! hat's off!
:)
Julie, what if they get the "good" one first, you know what I mean? The kid who is compliant and does what they're told, and you get all this pride and then BAM, you have number two who is a total terror and after you've given everyone parenting advice, you have to eat crow? yeah, that stinks.
Some kid just cracked his car on our hill and the car is sideways and he manages to get out, yells the F word along with, "My dad is going to kill me!" They've been getting the car out of the hole for two hours now, but I think it's safe to say, his dad is THRILLED he was in daddy's car, because that kid is safe!
Anna Marie, I think others may have comments about my parenting that are different than my own insight. But you know, ignorance is truly bliss. LOL
Having seen you in action with said kids, I already know you rock as a mom:-) Please tell the birthday boy that Davy's relative hopes he had a good one!
Oh, parenting crow is the worst kind!
My 4th child is a blabbermouth! Whatever pops into her head comes out, unfiltered by common sense.
She was petting a strangers dog once (these people obviously loved this dog as a child, proven by the clothes it was wearing) and told the people that we used to have a pug, but it made too much noise and rubbed it's bottom on the carpet and daddy kicked it so we don't have in anymore.
I just smiled at the horrified couple and thanked them for letting us pet their dog and walked on.
Sigh, all my arrogance at having 3 good easy children is being stripped away, one comment at a time.
And just so you know, daddy kicking the dog is an overstatement. He only moved it with is foot now and then, Truly! I promise!
Tricia, THAT is hysterical!! Luckily, I didn't have to eat much crow, pretty much all my kids are silencers. LOL I can't imagine where they get that. Thank you Jenny, I will tell my son he is officially Crockett congratulated! He's vying for a new rifle replica, so maybe that will be the answer.
Since this is about kids, I just had to share. My 15 yr. old took a face plant off of his bike 2 wks. ago. He managed to get a concussion, a hairline fracture to the nose and a nice little hospital stay overnight. The face, oh, the face. He flipped over the handlebars of the bike and face planted onto the dirt path. Lost consciousness and had blood all other. He had road rash as if he hit gravel pavement. A nurse asked if he was riding a motorcycle. Was he wearing a helmet????? Helmet? What's that? It's not cool to wear a helmet!
As I watched him drift in and out of consciousness, I kept praying that the Lord would heal him. I just knew there would be some type of brain damage or major scarring.
Two weeks later, he is back to his normal sleeping to 1:00 in the afternoon self. Ok, I'm letting him sleep longer now.....once the month long doctor enforced restrictions are lifted, he's back to the normal routine. By the way, no brain damage just some slight scarring on the face.
I really had a scare. I thought of all those times he used to cock his little 2 year old head to the side when you asked him to do "precious". Or the other times when he would just make you smile 'cause he was so darned cute.
He came up to me the other day and gave me a big hug. He said, "Thanks mom for taking care of me. I'm a very lucky to kid to have great parents like you and dad!" Wow.
Kids. They can break your heart and mend it back together again. (Or allow God to do that.)
Just thought I'd share.
"what if they get the "good" one first" LOL. This is what happened to my BIL and SIL. They had this little angel of a girl. She was perfect. Slept well, ate well, just an overall sweetie pie.
Then my nephew was born. LOL. My SIL actually apologized for thinking she had all the answers because she realized she was just lucky with the first one. It wasn't her mad parenting skills at all.
Like yours, Kristin, my son is pretty quiet. (asperger-ish quiet)But then there are times when I want to just crawl under a rock. He has a problem with knowing what's appropriate and what's not...like when a waitress at a restaurant asked him, "What's wrong, weren't you hungry?" And he tells her in his most grown up eight year old voice, and I quote "Actually, the food here makes me want to barf." What's funny is he doesn't see this as rude. LOL. Kids...
Rhonda, my heart just breaks hearing your story. Trey has a huge gash on his head too from one of his accidents. I try to think about Harrison Ford and that sexy chin gash he has, you know?
Sabrina, oh my gosh, I would totally die, but yeah, my kids do stuff like that all the time. I hate when they tell on you, like today my girlfriend (their eye doctor) asked a question and they suddenly get diarrhea of the mouth to relay every detail, and with each word you wait. LOL
There was this horrible, obnoxious, kid in my church at about the time I was in high school. I mean he was an acrobat-literally climbing the walls- and a handful. I was horrified by him and wondered why his parents "let" him be that way. Now he is a missionary living for Christ and I am the parent of two wonderfully exhausting. Whenever my son does something along that acrobat line, which by the is quite often, I say "so-and-so" was like that and he turned out great. You never know what God has in store. Whatever it is, it's just as it should be.
ROTFLOLOLOL! *wiping tears*
That story is priceless!! And gives me hope for my boys! My second born is just like that! I'll remember to keep him faaaaaar away from the communion loaf! LOL!
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