Girls Write Out
Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Okay, here is a better picture. The spider just did not work. I wasn't trying to scare anybody, and it's probably too late now, but here is Data, our little hero. Colleen, tell me you're not still screaming.

I did not grow up with the Munsters or the Addams Family. Honestly, I didn't. I grew up on a farm. Just because I name our spiders--really, it means nothing. I simply appreciate the fact that the spiders I name eat the bugs I hate. Charlotte the 15th is now hanging out--literally--outside our sunroom, and I get to watch her weave her beautiful, creative webs. Amazing.

Writing spiders like Charlotte in Charlotte's Web are perfectly harmless and they help us get rid of all the flying insects that enter at our door every time it opens to let a cat in or out. So I welcome our leggy neighbors.

Mel, on the other hand, hasn't quite caught on yet. After fifteen years, you'd have thought I could have convinced him. His reluctance may have something to do with the many brown recluse spiders we've found in our house. It's a good thing they're recluses, because THEY aren't harmless.

Last night, Mel mowed while I herded the cats inside and fed them and put them to bed. Our black and white kitty, Data, loves to chase and catch spiders and bugs and all kinds of creepy-crawlies. He's such a little hero. But last night he ate cat food, oblivious of the repast he could have enjoyed.

I knew it was getting dark, and though our lawn mower has headlights, I kind of hoped Mel would come in pretty soon. He doesn't do well in the dark. He's not afraid of the dark, but he tends to run into things. I didn't want him to wreck the lawn mower.

Long after the sun had set, I heard the mower shut off and the garage door lower with it's squeaky gears. Mel stepped in, eyes wide.

"Sweetheart, did you hear that little girl scream?" he asked.

"What? No! What happened?"

"No, I'm saying, did you hear the little-girl scream. From me."

"You screamed like a little girl?" And then I realized. "Charlotte got you?"

He shuddered. "Do you know how many Charlottes are out there, hanging in reach of my face?"

"Oh, honey, tell me the neighbors didn't hear you."

"They could hear me at the airport! With the jets going! I'm telling you, don't step outside the door or you'll be eaten!"

I laughed. And laughed. And then I doubled over, tears running down my face. "You screamed like a little girl at a harmless creation of God barely the size of the end of your finger?"

"The size of my hand, at least. Sweetheart, just don't go out there tonight."

I didn't. But I did laugh a few more minutes before we went to bed. Then laughed a couple of times as Mel was dozing off. I'd warned him, you know. Before he married me, he could have cut and run. He'd hiked with me several times with a huge stick held in front of us, breaking the way through the spider webs on the trail in the fall. He could have backed out. He didn't. He's stuck now.

Heheheheh... any scary stories?

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Hannah Alexander  
posted at 11:45 PM  
  Comments (6)
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At 9:03 AM, Blogger Ane Mulligan said...

Too funny!! I laughed right along with you, even as I shuddered. I hate spiders. I like them in the garden for the other bugs they eat, but not on me. Ick.

But I really laughed because the hubs is the same. When we see a big spider, it becomes a case of WHO will get it. We do the "You get it" dance, until the spider dies of old age.

At 10:56 AM, Blogger Hannah Alexander said...

We're actually the same way, Ane. One night, years ago, as we were getting ready for bed, a spider dropped down from the light fixture right over the bed. We didn't have anything near at hand to get it with, so I jumped onto the bed and grabbed at the web above the spider to keep it from hitting the sheets and disappearing under the covers while I yelled at Mel to do something, fast! He did. He scrambled to the wall and promptly turned OFF the light! That night I was the one who screamed.

Our neighbors must think we run a nuthouse.

At 2:25 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

I'm with Mel!!! If you see a spider around me, you're the designated killer.

At 2:28 PM, Blogger Hannah Alexander said...

LOL. Don't worry, I'll do it. But I will apologize to the spider. And cringe, because I don't know anyone personally who doesn't at least shiver at the sight of a spider.

At 2:28 AM, Blogger Cheri said...

Hi Cheryl,

You have given me a good laugh tonight as I have to agree with Mel on this one. We have been getting roaches in the house with all the rain, and I run screaming every time!

I don't like any bugs, although I know they do have a purpose from God. I depend on my husband to get rid of those in the house, if he is home, and if he isn't I pray for God's intervention and arm myself with a bottle of cleaning spray and try to drown them from a distance!

Thanks again for sharing...I haven't been on in a few months due some surgeries but have been praying for Diann and have kept up with the updates.


At 2:33 AM, Blogger Hannah Alexander said...

Cheri, we've missed you! Great to hear from you, especially about the spider and bug situation. I had Mel come in and read the post about himself tonight and he had a good laugh about it. I told him I had to take the spider off the heading because it made Colleen scream, and the only person unhappy about the change was Deb Raney. Go figure. LOL!!


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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

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