Friday we left our oldest son at college. I have to say, nothing in life prepares you to take your child 4 1/2 hours away, unpack his belongings, and drive away.
I expected the on-and-off tears and the flashbacks of his younger years. What I didn't expect was the overarching feeling of loss, almost a feeling of depression--punctuated by freak outs about what I may have forgotten to teach him in our 19 years together.
I keep telling myself it's not too late. He's only a text away if I remember that I never told him about ATM fees or separating darks and lights or the use of colons verses semi-colons verses. (Hey, he's a journalism major.)
This letting go thing isn't easy, but the best piece of advice I received came from my dad. (See? After all these years, he's still helping ME through the tough stuff. This is comforting.)
He pointed out that when you take a flight and keep your luggage with you, that bag is your responsibility. If someone steals it while you're sleeping in your uncomfortable chair at the gate, or if or you leave it at the Cinnabon stand, the airline is not responsible for its loss. However, if you check your bag, it's in their hands, their safekeeping (such as it is). They're responsible for its recovery.
As I think of my son so far away, I'll try to remember that I've already checked him with God. Unlike the airlines, He'll never misplace Justin, and He sure won't charge an extra fee for keeping him in His care.
Is there a piece of luggage you need to check?
Labels: college, Trusting God
In approximately 128 days, we will be driving our oldest son to college (4 1/2 hours away WAAH!). Since the day he chose his college, I've been going through the process of getting us both ready for that day. But really, we've been preparing for this day for 18 years. And I have to say . . . lately, it doesn't seem like long enough.
We have only 18 years to transform a helpless, 20-inch bundle of soft skin and flailing limbs into a full-grown, responsible adult, capable of making thoughtful decisions and intelligent choices. Not to mention doing laundry, shopping for groceries, and balancing a checkbook. When they're little, we teach them the basics--walking and talking and sharing--and then, just when they're old enough for some serious learning, when time with them is running short--they turn rebellious.
I wondered today, if God feels the same about me. If he sometimes thinks that a lifetime isn't enough to prepare me for an eternity with Him. After all, I stumbled quite a few times as he taught me to walk. I sometimes didn't listen when he said no. And just when you might think I'm mature enough to handle the tough stuff, I turn rebellious.
But He's the perfect parent, the One who knows when to cling tightly and when to let loose a little. I've got a feeling I have a lot to learn about letting loose, even though I've been slowly doing so for 18 years. I'll do my best to step back and let my baby take his first steps into adulthood, but if you've got any sage advice or helpful tips, I'm all ears.
Labels: college, letting go
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