Girls Write Out
Tuesday, March 20, 2007


DUH-RECTIONS

So I'm taking the milk from the fridge today when I notice the text beside the cap: "Reseals for freshness". Wow, a milk container with a cap. What an innovative concept. Have you ever noticed that some of the text on product containers really defy belief.



The flap of cereal boxes, for instance. "To open, lift tab." Uh, thanks. I was wondering how to open this. If you're old enough to read and mentally competent enough to understand the directions, do you really need an explanation? Does Post fear that if they remove the instructions they'll receive a flurry of phone calls? Help! How DOES this box open?

The instructions on a bottle of salad dressing: "Twist to open"

On a flip-top can of carrots: "Lift tab to rim. Peel back carefully. Edges may be sharp."

The edges may be sharp, but clearly corporate America doesn't think we are.
Denise Hunter  
posted at 2:19 PM  
  Comments (11)
 
 
Delicious Delicious
11 Comments:
At 9:35 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Yes, and the warnings on labels are funny too:
Mozarella cheese I bought had this on it, "Allergy warning: contains milk" (DUH!)
And the soy sauce:
"Allergy warning: contains soy"

Who would have thought?

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

Nut containers say the same thing. "Contains nuts". LOL

 
At 10:01 AM, Blogger Reese said...

The soy milk I buy has this printed on the carton:

"Shake Well and Buy Often"

It cracks me up, though I have a suspicion I should be offended somehow.

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger Jaime said...

If they don't put it on their, people exploit their own stupidity and sue the company. Which is why my lawn mower says, "don't put hands under mower when machine is running, may result in severed limbs"
... that was my first instinct, to raise my lawn mower above my head with my hands and use the whirring blade to give myself a crew cut ...

Yes, lawsuit happy people make labels entertaining for those of us who just use the stuff the way it should be ... we also use common sense :)

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger allen said...

Lift...tab...oh...for years I've simply been ripping the box in two and then eating the Cap'n Crunch off of the floor.

I think a lot of it has to do with the crazy law suits. When people are getting rich because they didn't realize putting a cup of coffee between their legs as they drive might cause second degree burns, corporations have gone overboard to protect themselves.

On my wife's blowdryer it reads "Do not use in shower"...oh...that explains why my hair is so curly.

 
At 11:45 AM, Blogger eileen said...

Imagine getting paid to write those directions. LOL

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger Tina said...

I want that job, eileen.

 
At 6:19 PM, Blogger Pam S. said...

When my daughter was 8, she brought me an opened medicine bottle. She was clearly disgusted. "This medicine says, 'Child-proof cap' but I followed the directions on the lid and just opened it. This ISN'T child-proof, mom!"

I guess it was an "illiterate-proof" cap?

 
At 7:43 PM, Blogger Singles Out Loud Team said...

Some of those warning labels are so small, I need a magnifying glass! OK, so I'm gettin' older.

 
At 9:01 PM, Blogger Robin Caroll said...

My absolute favorite commercial right now is Ford's...with the car driving on the edge of a building. Have you read the small print disclaimer..."Yes, this is a fantasy. No, cars can't drive on buildings" Every single time I see the commercial, I go into laughing fits.

 
At 2:22 AM, Blogger Anna Marie said...

My Straightening iron say's,
WARNING! NEVER USE WHILE SLEEPING OR OUTDOORS!
LOL!

 

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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

www.KristinBillerbeck.com

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

www.ColleenCoble.com

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

www.DeniseHunterBooks.com

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

www.DiannHunt.com

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

www.HannahAlexander.com

 
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