Girls Write Out
Tuesday, March 13, 2007


It happened again last night as I was watching one of my favorite shows. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. They go on a date and reach the end where we're all wondering . . . will he kiss her? The romantic in me sighs. Then he kisses her tenderly. Ah, all is right in the world.

Then the shirt comes flying off and they're headed for the bedroom.


I'm weary of TV treating sex as if it's the automatice conclusion to a first kiss. What happened to romance? Anticipation? Morality? The characters on TV aren't waiting for the second date, much less the wedding. I mean, I've been out of the dating scene a long time, but somebody please tell me it's not like this in real life.
Denise Hunter  
posted at 10:06 AM  
  Comments (27)
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At 10:25 AM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

Such a good point, Denise! Hollywood has lost the magic of romance.

At 11:00 AM, Blogger Jaime said...

I agree. Take me back to the days of "Roman Holiday" or "Anne of Green Gables". When Anne says, "I don't want marble halls or diamond sunsets, I just - want - you" and there's a sweet embrace on a bridge. Sigh. Love, sweet love.

At 11:17 AM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

Oh, I LOVE that part, Jaime!!!! Gave me goosebumps just to read it! Course, it could be the fact I'm drinking iced tea, but I don't think so. *g*

At 11:22 AM, Blogger Jaime said...

I just mentioned "Anne of Green Gables" to my admin. assist and she replied "Who?"

I just about fainted. It's like someone saying they never heard of Star Wars or Indiana Jones or never drank coffee before.

You can guess what I'll be doing this weekend with my admin! :)

At 11:32 AM, Blogger Dana said...

Yep, that IS how it is out there. Direction is coming from Sex in the City instead of the Creator of sex. Sad, but true. And VERY scary!! I thank God I'm married and not out there anymore!!

At 11:33 AM, Blogger allen said...

Guy POV here. I find the whole step one "kiss-sex-sleepover" step two "excuse me, what was your name again" of Hollywood to be pathetic as well. There is so little romance anymore. Even "Romantic Chick Flix" have the guy and girl jumping into bed if not on the first date, then eventually. Two movies come to mind where that does not happen..."Ever After" and...uh...okay, one movie came to mind. Yet it isn't just a recent thing. Back in the day (grad school) I was on a date and she informed me that she had come "prepared" just in case I had not. That was my last blind date...

At 11:38 AM, Blogger Jaime said...

The sad thing is, I'm the middle school youth director at our church and i have to discuss this topic with 11 yr olds on Friday. It's so real to them it's disgusting. Whatever happened to dipping braids in inkwells being the big problem? I mean I know we dont' have inkwells anymore, but seriously ...

At 12:14 PM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

Not only is it wrong and unromantic, but it's downright dangerous these days. Aids aside, there are so many diseases to be contracted, not to mention unplanned pregnancy. Nothing romantic about that at all.

At 12:19 PM, Blogger Bethanie said...

i find it pathetic too. hollywood just doesn't understand romance anymore. there is more to romance than sex and more's the pity that that is all that comes across on tv and the movies anymore.

i really like to watch grey's anatomy, but it really bugs me how they all just sleep around with each other all the time. pretty much the whole cast has slept with everyone else! so sad.

whatever happened to waiting, getting to know a person, work on a relationship before jumping into bed?

and yes, i'm single.

At 12:21 PM, Blogger Bethanie said...

Oh and PS - anne of green gables is soooo romantic, i just love that whole series and i've read it over and over and over and over again.

At 12:32 PM, Blogger Tina said...

The sad reality seems to be that it sells or they wouldn't have it in there. Now, I'm not saying nothing else sells, I'm just saying there's a reason for the term. I'm glad for writers out there who are putting old fashioned romance in their books. That's the nice thing about the inspirational market.

At 1:20 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

I honestly think Hollywood doesn't understand. It's so politically incorrect to say a woman wants to be cared for by a man. That she wants to be wooed. SHE CAN DO IT HERSELF! That's the mantra, that being loved shows weakness.

You know how all of Hollywood seems to solve all crimes in strip bars so they can show some writhing chick in the background? I think the writers are so blase about the strip clubs, they don't get the rest of America doesn't necessarily hang out there like a coffee shop. And yes, I know there are people who do, but treating it as normal is weird.

At 1:58 PM, Blogger Bethanie said...

yeah well meredith told mcdreamy she didn't want a knight in shining... whatever. hehe! good on him for telling her he WOULD be her knight in shining whatever.

however, i still don't think she'll let him.

At 3:46 PM, Blogger Shauna said...

Great post, Denise. This topic is very real to me as I'm watching a close friend throw away her beliefs and her walk with Jesus. And all for the illusion of love.

These poor girls are so desperate for love and noone has told them they are worthy of respect and decency and common courtesy! We need to be teaching our daughters that they are a "Princess of the King" and that they deserve no less than the best treatment! They have the right to expect that! I think if more girls had a positive self-image, less girls would be so willing to throw their virtue away for a cheap, synthetic love.

It would sure be nice if Hollywood would quit making sex "no big deal". They show everyone sleeping with everyone, yet never show the heartache that leaves. It's distressing.

And Jaime, I LOVE Anne of Green Gables! I watched it so much growing up, I had it memorized! All four tapes!

At 3:56 PM, Blogger Kayla said...

There's a guy that I work with that tried for a month to get me to have sex with him and was honestly quite puzzled by the fact that I wouldn't. D'oh. At some point he confided that he's had sex with about 40 people, he estimates. Yeeeeah, whatev. I just grinned and told him to come see me play in the band at church sometime. And then I gave him a couple Perry Stone CDs on a topic he was interested in.

Ever After, that's where it is! I hate Drew Barrymore in everything else, but that movie...*sigh*. I'm very sick today, and it just happens to be in the DVD player...hmmm...if I can get my mom to bring home a chai, it'll be perfect.

At 4:22 PM, Blogger Rachel Hauck said...

I sat in Barnes & Noble today for 2 hours reading various things. One was a book called Unhooked.

It's by a DC based journalist who is looking into the whole "hooked up" phenom in jr. high and high school, and college.

It seems to be the norm, Denise. Sex of some kind is just part of "maturing" physically without requirement of any kind of relationships let alone commitment.

Why the book contained no graphic scenes, I felt slimed reading it.

All women have done to liberate themselves has brought more bondage than ever. And feeds right into the base instincts of guys. Free sex.

We need revival. Big Time.


At 4:45 PM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

I so agree with everything you said, Rachel! Women think they're being liberated by being free with their bodies, but they're only exchanging what they really for what men really want. It's so sad. When are women going to get this? And I do agree it's partly a self-esteem issue like Shauna said. Girls are searching for love in places they won't find it.

At 5:08 PM, Blogger mazzucasinswaziland said...

In the States, my husband and I did abstinence education in schools and we are doing the same thing here. Teens and young adults are beliving the glamorized lie of sex before marriage all over the world! This is a huge thing that we need to be praying about daily. Can I give props to "Return To Me?" That's a pretty recent movie that is incredibly romanic without the sex.

At 5:32 PM, Blogger Julie Carobini said...

Preach it, Denise. I've got up and coming teens in the house and I can only tell them that the opposite sex is gross for so long. lol. And I agree with Diann--gimme some magic.

At 5:42 PM, Blogger Kayla said...

Oh- I must interject that the guy I work with reminds me oh-so-much of Kristin's Hans in the Ashley series. Foreign and slimy. He doesn't even seem all that attractive at first but he tricks you into thinking that he is. And we chat at work all the time so people look at me with suspicion.


At 8:16 PM, Blogger Singles Out Loud Team said...

Unfortunately this is the reality for many in Hollywood, so that's all they know. Hard to believe, but believe me, they are really messed up. I've had to work w/some of 'em! whew!

At 8:56 PM, Blogger Shauna said...

Maz, I love the movie Return to Me. In fact, after reading this post earlier today, I sat down while the kiddies were napping and watched it! I was thinking, "Great movie, lots of magic and NO sex." It still leaves you with that mushy, lovey feeling, but it keeps it clean! Yeah for movies like that!!

At 5:39 AM, Blogger Rel said...

Yup - I'm with you girls! With three young daughters the whole prospect of the way "love" is defined by the media is very scary. While You Were Sleeping is ok too! How about Pride & Prejudice? Did you know here in Australia and the UK the movie ended without Darcy and Lizzy kissing at all. The kissing scene that you would have seen in the States was made especially for US audiences!! How about that!

At 7:02 AM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

I'll check out Return to Me on Netflix. THanks for the suggestion!

At 12:44 PM, Blogger Pam S. said...

Ditto to everything that has been said on this round of blogging!

My suggestion: "Princess Bride." Don't forget "Princess Bride"! That's a good flick without the usual Hollywood sex-ploits.

At 6:25 AM, Blogger Mordant Coffee said...

I agree. Hollywood's all rush...there's no soul in the movies anymore. :(

At 7:47 PM, Blogger Deena said...

Ok...trying this again...

This is why my alltime favorite movie, after all these years and many, many chick While You Were that is romance....**sigh**


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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

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