What's your love language?
Do you know? We're doing this study again after a bajillion years of marriage, and I think mine changed. It used to be quality time and it still is in a lot of ways. There is nothing I like more than sitting down over good espresso and having a chat. Okay, my Dh doesn't drink coffee and being an engineer, he's not much of a chatter, so I do that with my girlfriends.
But I think now I'm a gift person. And this is very bad because I am a terrible gift giver. I try, but it's like that one extra detail I just don't have room in my brain for. I think I would be a good gift giver if I didn't have four children, orthodontist appts., soccer practice and feeding people to worry about. That's a gift isn't it? Your plate isn't empty in the evening?
I can't begin to tell you what good gift givers my friends are, and it makes me feel terrible! I want to think about gifts for people and I think that's going to be my next learning curve. My friend Maria, seeing I was overwhelmed with my last deadline, not only brought dinner to my family one night, but she left a bag full of Odwalla bars, so I'd eat right at breakfast. She buttered our bread for us!
Beth? My BFF from kindergarten on, she bought my favorite chocolate mint truffles and a blanket that is filled with lavender. You warm it in the microwave and it smells all comfy. How cool is that? PLUS, a Jane Austen manner book.
My Girls Write Out girls bought me a gift certificate at Zappos -- handbags, shoes & sunglasses. All three fetishes in one easy gift certificate.
Jackie gave me her room air conditioner when it got really hot. So I know my recent lameness has sort of enabled my friends in the gift-giving arena, but still, it makes me want to be a better gift giver. (Did you hear Jack Nicholson's voice? You make me want to be a better man!)
So has anyone's love language changed over the years? From what to what?
Quality Time
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Gifts
Words of Affirmation
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14 Comments:
This may sound lame, but I really don't know which one I "am". I do know which ones I enjoy doing (acts of service and words of affirmation)
Maybe I need to dig that book out of the basement and read it again to figure myself out.
Although really, can one ever truly be figured out?
I'm a gifts peson, too. I didn't realize this until a few years ago, but it's a love language for me.
Not sure my other ones. I'm feeling very beige these days. I can go with anything.
I think as we mature, grow closer to the Lord, our love language changes.
But, you can't go wrong with a gift for me. LOL
Rachel :)
Words of affirmation work great for me, but I want them WRITTEN DOWN. Something I can refer back to, people!! Of course, with your cards and letters, small gifts work well. :)
Mine is definitely words of affirmation. But all of the above are welcome. LOL
I'm a words of affirmation primarily. But I like them all. LOL
I think I learned this from my mother. She was pretty good at affirming me when I was growing up. I learned gifts of service from her too. She would drop anything to help me when I needed her. For my kids' graduations she single-handedly made most of the food. LOL I'm rather lame in the kitchen.
And she learned all this from HER mother. My grandma Eileen. And I think Kara has learned a lot of this from me. Down through the generations. Isn't that a cool thought?
My husband and I were in a class years ago where they had us take a stab at writing down our spouse's love languages, in order. We both put Gifts down last for each other, and the women in the group thought hubby was so in trouble, lol. Actually, he was right. I'd rather he give me a kiss and unload the dishwasher.
Now that we're older and hubby has ignored this tidbit of info with occasional gifts of tennis bracelets, rings and chocolate, I'm thinkin' Gifts might be moving up the list, lol.
Julie, that's just how we both were. Gifts was last for both of us, but it seems to be surfacing. I wonder why that is???
I drive my husband crazy - I have 3 top love languages:
Quality Time
Physical Affection
Words of Affirmation
Take one away and I become a basket case. My poor, poor husband. He tries soooo hard! :) LOL
(yes, I'm a nut case, I know)
Jaime, I'm the same way, in that order. Mine used to be touch and quality time over the top, and then touch went down and words of affirmation crept up. Now they're all equally important to me. I think I need to hear it more often now because of some insecurities that have crept up.
Jaime and Kayla, I believe that's known as "high maintenance". You go girls!
Kris, I love how I'd be mad at anyone else that would say that...but coming from you, it just makes me laugh.
After pondering this question all day today (even while walking up and down the aisles at Target!) I figured out that the ones I do the most *must* be the ones I AM! I don't like to give gifts and I truly don't like to receive gifts (odd, I know) so I think that mine must be acts of service and words of affirmation.
This being said...anyone wanna tell me that the book I've been writing for the past year is really good and that I'm doing a great job? After you tell me that you can then take on my task and finish it for me! ROFL
Jaime, you're so right, the high maintenance thing coming from me is the highest praise. No shame in it whatsoever. LOL
Suzanne, you keep going girl, there's a publisher out there with your name on it.
You meant Kayla, but I'll forgive you.
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