Girls Write Out
Tuesday, August 26, 2008

VANITY, THY NAME IS WOMAN
Okay, I have a confession to make: I notice facial hair. Not just any facial hair--a WOMAN'S facial hair. If you've got a bit of fuzz on your upper lip, I'm going to see it. If you've got a dusting a hairs along your jawline, the sun will point it out to me when I stand in the parking lot talking to you. I won't say anything, mind you, but that hair will draw my attention like a spare DeBrand truffle calling my name. I'll WANT to get my eyebrow wax after you, but I'll button my lip and say nothing.

This fetish made it even more painful this week when I realized that I--gasp, yes I-- had some fuzz along my jawline. It's because I'm a bit unbalanced in my hormones and I immediately sent off a panicked email to my hormone doctor and he's adjusting my DHEA or my pregnenolone when he gets my blood work back. But in the meantime, I had this, um, catastrophe to deal with. I immediately put my wax on to heat. I've waxed my eyebrows for years so I thought this would be no big deal. Testing the wax, I thought it was ready. I cut strips of coffee filters (works great, btw) and got out my popsicle stick to smooth it on with. I started back toward my hair. Mistake one. Got some wax in my hair instead of on my face, but I managed to deal with it. I slicked it across that offensive hair, slapped a strip on it then yanked it off.

Mistake one. The wax wasn't hot enough and when I yanked, I left part of the paper behind. I tried to pick it off and succeeded in taking part of my skin. The other side worked better (wax was hotter) but I was left with a red spot. I would be gone by the time I had to speak tonight, I though. Mistake two. The redness got worse not better. I managed to cover it up with makeup, but it still burns and hurts. I fear what it will look like in the morning.

But one thing I know: the hair is gone. LOL And that was the main point. But if there's ever a next time, I plan to get that wax good and hot. Unless you've got something that works better. Just in case. And if it works, I'll buy it by the truckload and had it out to women I meet. LOL
Colleen Coble  
posted at 4:00 AM  
  Comments (19)
 
 
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19 Comments:
At 7:42 AM, Blogger Katy McKenna said...

Colleen, I share your fetish. And while I don't know a great solution, I do have a funny story.

A couple of years ago, my 86-year-old MIL was in the hospital, very ill. Her daughters had neglected to bring her razor which, yes, she used every day on her face.

She desperately hates hospitals. Begs us to get her out of there the minute she's admitted. All she can talk about is going home. In fact, she's been known to throw tantrums like a child to attempt to get her way.

After she'd been there nearly a week, and was still too frail to sit up, she looked at me and with her last ounce of strength, said, "If I don't get out of this hospital soon, I'm going to have...a full beard."

:) :) :) Katy McKenna www.fallible.com

 
At 7:50 AM, Blogger Andrea said...

I started with facial hair a few years ago. It is blonde like my hair. It bugged me but didnt know what to do about it. I take scissors and trim the hair on my lip. A lady at work told me about a creme. So I've been using a hair remover creme. A few of those hairs are stubborn! They don't want to go away. I may try a different creme. I wax my eyebrows but I don't think I can do my lip. That would HURT and I'm a wimp.

I don't think I knew it was hormone related. I think it was just me getting old. I may have to check that out next time I go to the dr. which is soon for the lovely yearly and squishing. I just got a letter yest. reminding me it is time. YIPPEE!!

 
At 8:44 AM, Blogger Leslie said...

Sigh. I wish waxing and hair removal cremes worked for me. Alas they don't - so I have to take care of my facial hair like a man -shave :(

No wonder men grow beards and mustaches.

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

I notice facial hair too. And once you see it it's just so hard to look away. I hope I'm never too old to notice any stray hairs growing out of my chin...or anywhere else. And for now my tweezers are my best friend.

 
At 10:14 AM, Blogger Kay Day said...

I notice facial hair, too. But I have a fair share myself. I have a few that are just regular old whiskers! I pull those. Then I use one of those little trimmer things to smooth around the rest of my chin - get the blonde ones. But I'm always afraid that then there is an obvious line where I stopped!

I'm planning to get a hormone test done, soon. Hopefully that will help!

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger Judy said...

Colleen, I use Nair Hair Remover Face Cream once a week. Works great!

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Georgiana said...

OH NO! I thought I was the only one who had waxing accidents at home. Let's just say I don't do that at home anymore, lest I have a nasty scrape between my brows for everyone to stare at.

 
At 3:51 PM, Blogger Andrea said...

Judy

I may have to try Nair. I've been using Sally Hanson. I have spots where it doesn't work. Thanks for the recommendation!

 
At 4:39 PM, Blogger Megan DiMaria said...

Thanks, Colleen. You make me feel more normal every day you post. LOL

Yes, I have a suggestion. Go to a great esthetician. I have one that's fabulous.

PS: I also love the way you mentioned "upper-lip hair" instead of calling it a mustache. You speak with experience, and I love that!

A prisoner of hope,
Megan

 
At 5:58 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

We live amidst a culture that does not do anything about "upper lip hair" or as my kids, with less grace, might say, "The kid whose mom has a mustache." The sad thing is, that could be more than one child.

I just got my brows perfected this week. I love my gal. She arches the brows, so I look younger and more Chihuahua, less sheepdog.

 
At 7:58 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

I don't know what it is about rural communities, but there seems to be a lot more female facial hair. I found this disturbing as a child.

I used to wonder if it was the well water...

Whatever it was, MANY women were either unaware of or just did not care about their facial hair. My mother always says "with acceptance, there is peace." So, perhaps they were just more spiritual than me.

I don't know, but after a traumatic teenage experience involving a razor and an eyebrow, I decided to bleach the slightly darker soft hairs gracing my upper lip. I eventually worked my way up to tweezing my unibrow. I'm not an artist, but it turns out pretty well.

But beware. The hair bleach products can burn if left on too long. My sister found this out the hard way and instead of having some dusky facial hair to combat, she ended up with a beet-red blister on her lip. Much harder to cover with make-up.

 
At 11:05 PM, Blogger Lynette Sowell said...

I get it. I notice it. I don't like either. I'm a fan of the sugaring method, which really does rip the stuff out and it comes back finer. But true, you have to watch the temperature... :) ouch. I let my stylist mess with the eyebrows, though.

I had a dear friend (as someone would say, 'bless her heart') who always had a blooming upper lip and sprouting chin. I would get the urge to grab the Nair and hold her down. But if she was comfortable with it, I figured I'd let it go...not that it was easy

 
At 11:34 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

you mean I'm not alone? I should have confessed sooner!

sorry I've been out of touch. We flew to Phoenix this morning to help our baby girl get her new building ready.

Oh it IS hormonal, Andrea! Mine will be gone soon. As women get older, it's more common with the hormonal changes which can be fixed with bioidentical hormones. LOVE them!

Why won't wax work, Leslie? Have you gotten professional wax from Sally's Beauty Supply?

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger Tiff (Amber Miller) Stockton said...

Hmm, unwanted hair in obvious places. I know sitting in the car is the opportune place to spot those little buggers. And I have nearly transparent hair that's pale blonde, so it's even hard to see them when they appear in the wrong areas. LOL!

I use Nair facial for the upper lip and rogue spots on the chin -- creamy, contains lotion and is painless, wiping off with a moist, warm towel. If you've ever shaved on your face though, Nair won't work as well. The follicles need to be thinner.

I also Nair my legs, and it's wonderful. Lasts for weeks!

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Interesting about the rural communities, Sarah! Hmm.

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger Leslie said...

Colleen, I just saw your question.

I don't know why - I get hair on my neck just below the chin (not the only place either), and I've tried everything - I think part of it is an angle problem, but also I know of other women who have the same issue - the hair is so dense, that stuff just doesn't work. So I shave. *sigh* When I can, I let it grow out over the weekend, and then I pluck as much as I can, because then I grab the root, and it doesn't grow back as fast, so I have less to shave during the week.

 
At 12:31 PM, Blogger Crystal Laine Miller said...

I appreciate that you don't say anything, Colleen, though you notice it.

We have this younger shirttail relative who is not kind and often tries to humiliate those around her. (She's getting better over the years, I must admit.) Well, the first time I had a long chin hair, she says in front of big crowd, "Hey, look, Crystal, you have an old lady hair!" I am not making this up.

If she had pulled me privately aside to point it out (I have blonde hair and it's hard to see, anyway) I might not have to deal with FORGIVING her to this day. All because of old lady hairs. Ugh.

Love Katy's story.

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger Ane Mulligan said...

Oh, terrific. Now I've got to go get a lip wax before conference. Those make me break out, Colleen. But if I go this week, I still have plenty ot time to hide out until the rash fades.

 
At 3:54 PM, Blogger Chelf said...

Colleen, I emailed you a joke that my brother sent me ages ago. I think you will find it totally fits here.

 

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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

www.KristinBillerbeck.com

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

www.ColleenCoble.com

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

www.DeniseHunterBooks.com

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

www.DiannHunt.com

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

www.HannahAlexander.com

 
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