Girls Write Out
Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Star Wreck

I don't know if I've ever verbalized my complete and total hatred of "Star Trek" -- the original with Spock and Kirk, but may I just take this time to say I think Shatner's best work is for Priceline. I abhor this show. Everyday after school, my dad would come home, commandeer the television and turn "Star Trek" on -- and I would retreat to my room, convinced my dad had lost a marble or two.

So like an idiot, okay, maybe my motive was to show him how stupid they really were, but I bought my husband the original collection on DVD. Enter my worst nightmare!!! He's got my boys into it and they sit here every night reliving my ugly childhood afterschool experiences. The sights! The sounds!!

Here's what I really hate about the show, now that I'm an adult and can verbalize. I know you're thinking "hate" is such a strong word for a TV show, but I feel it ever time it starts -- that ugly roiling anger that the men in my life aren't above this drivel.

First of all, I think Roddy thought he could bring about world peace and took himself way too seriously for a TV creator. But second, here's why the guys all became engineer nerds on the AV team -- because they were taught that you could be an utter dork in pants that ride way too high, and way too tight, and women would fall at your feet. All you had to do was be -- Kirk -- or Bond -- and you'd be beating them off with a stick!

I swear this is where my roots of feminism were born. With satisfaction I heard Elle ask, "Why is that girl after him, Mom?"

My point exactly. Is it fair to tell my fourteen year old that this is not the road to reality? That he could be that guy on the Segway who practically ran me down on the sidewalk last night outside Amici's? A Weird Al video brought to life? Is that what I want for his future? I paid for private school all those years for this? (In case any of you are feeling for my son, he is me in male form. Nothing anyone says will change his mind when it's made up.)

I brought my own worst fears to life. There has to be a novel in that!

The above picture is Victoria Beckham at her son's soccer game in full designer dress and Balenciaga bag. The Diva in me wants to say, "You go girl, not caring what others think!" but the mother in me shouts back, "Get a pair of jeans and sit on the grass and make it about your son!" She must be so lonely. Who could get close to her there? How will her boys play with other kids? Too sad to me, but she looks cute. Ridiculous but cute.
posted at 12:14 AM  
  Comments (19)
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At 2:50 AM, Blogger Anna Marie said...

Maybe it's time for the DVD's to grow legs and disappear. ;)

At 6:40 AM, Blogger hotcoffeenow said...

Here's how little I care about Star Trek - the whole time I was reading it I thought you were talking about Star Wars - then I got to the women part, lol. Apparently I need some more coffee....I put them both in the same category, though, I just don't get it. Yea, if they wre in my house, they'd grow some legs and disappear. :)

At 7:49 AM, Blogger Andrea said...

I hear you! I am the only girl in this house. My husband has turned my boys into sci-fi nerds(Star Trek, Star Wars and many, many more) like himself. They all love them esp. my youngest. He loves all the monster movies like Godzilla as well. I think they are all so silly. I keep reminding myself they could be watching worse things, I guess.

This is how I get so many books read. They watch those and I sit in the same room reading away!te

At 9:10 AM, Blogger Kay Day said...

I love Star Trek! It was something we watched with our dad and we always laughed at it. I probably thought it was supposed to be a comedy. My kids can't stand it, but we all watch The Next Generation and Voyager together.
I'll admit that the original is a bit hard to watch these days. What used to be an awesome spaceship now looks like painted cardboard... But I keep recording them, waiting for The Trouble with Tribbles!

At 9:34 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

I love you Kristin! I feel the same way about Star Trek as you do. I never got it at all. Course there's a whole list of TV shows that I never got.
Hogan's Hero's, MASH, The Odd Couple, Get Smart, The Waltons...I could go on and on. There was nothing worse than coming home after a long day of school and finding the only thing on was MASH. The theme song still makes me cringe.
Give me I Love Lucy. Or Seinfeld. Something to make me laugh!

At 11:37 AM, Blogger Rhonda/WA state said...

Hey, happy belated birthday Kristin!

Never liked Star Trek though I can remember watching it alot. Then there was that other show....the one with the robot flailing (sp?) his arms..."danger Will Robinson!" Lost in Space. That's it.

Star Wars is my son's all time fav. He is a total fanatic. Claims he'll be the next George Lucas.

Regarding Victoria Beckham. looking at her picture, I'm thinking maybe she'd just come from a photo shoot. Maybe I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. BIG DOUBT.

At 11:56 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

Rhonda, you're sweet, but Beckham didn't come from a photo shoot. I've never seen Star Wars, not all the way through, and every time I take a writing course they use it as the plot point example because "everyone's seen it". I do love the Star Tours ride at Disneyland though!! I don't mind Star Wars. At least Leia in a gold bikini makes sense to me. And Harrison Ford, well yeah, I get that. LOL

At 1:27 PM, Blogger Kayla said...

Omg. That bag. Purse lust. I love orange! I would be in jeans and sitting on the ground, but definitely toting the bag. There are some things you can't give up.

My stepdad LOVES Star Trek. He insists that it's real.

At 1:31 PM, Blogger Rhonda/WA state said...

Maybe it's a little sundress and she has flip flops on. Ok, maybe a real EXPENSIVE little sundress....

No, I'm not sweet. I'm biting my tongue actually. She really should be in shorts and a t-shirt.

At 1:39 PM, Blogger Pam S. said...

Perhaps you'll think I'm from a different planet when I admit this: I've never seen a "Star Trek" episode--or a "ST" movie, either. I'd never seen Shatner in anything until "Miss Congeniality" (He was in that, right?). Ok, so I've lived overseas for 20+ years, but those type of shows and movies came out before that. They just never were interesting to me. I saw the first two "Star Wars" movie, though. I liked Princess Leia's cinamon-buns hairdo and flowing white robes. I'm with Suzanne: give me an "I Love Lucy" and I'll be supremely happy.

At 1:58 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Okay, here's what the article said. I like that you give her the benefit of the doubt, but heels at a soccer field, people!

"Dressed to the nines in a pair of high-heeled orange and gold sandals, sixties style mini shift dress, and weighed down by a $7,500 orange Hermes Birkin bag."

At 12:44 AM, Blogger Chelf said...

I think the best work Shatner has done is really his commercial for the evil World of Warcraft. That, and Mr. T.

I grew up watching the original Star Trek with my dad, much like your kids are doing now. It was a special treat to stay up so late, and I watched for the scary creatures and the upright uptightness of Spock. It was good to see a woman in a leading role, but I would now say that every character was dumb, so that didn't help Nichelle Nichols.

I was always insulted that they thought any woman would want William Shatner. He is, was, and forever will be... just gross. But that is another rant. I was also struck by the fact that all the aliens were pretty blonde women, and it was never made an issue that they might have ... um... different parts.

I do, however, like that Majel Barrett (widow of Gene Roddenberry) has forever been the voice of the computers. Kinda like GPS, maybe someone realized that a calm motherly voice was better than a commanding shout of a man.

Don't let them grow legs, that stuff is worth CASH. If you really had that bad an experience, tell the Hubby to sell it. Make them watch when you are gone to conferences, not when you are around to hear it again.

At 1:00 AM, Blogger Anna Marie said...

I was j/k

At 11:38 AM, Blogger Betsy said...

I am so annoyed that my husband is turning my kids onto this stuff. Luckily he feels they are too young to see the 'women' in Star Trek, but I do have to hear about Star Wars all the time. It really does drive me crazy! At least my husband has given up on including me in this 'male bonding' time.

I do agree that Priceline is Shatners best work.

As for Victoria Beckham, yeah, I would love to have her purse! Is it just me or does she look bored? How could you be bored at your child's game!


At 12:53 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

I know Betsy, how could she be bored, especially when their father is the great Beckham? I get nervous at my son's games (one is the goalie) and I may want to cuss out a ref or two, but never bored. LOL I don't. Don't worry.

At 10:01 PM, Blogger Beawhiz said...

I love Star Trek--grew up watching it with my dad. I never realized how sexist/misogynistic it is until you mentioned it.

The Next Generation is better about it, but there still weren't really strong female characters--they were mostly background characters.

Now, Voyager! Bring on the female captains! Captain Janeway was awesome!

At 6:41 AM, Blogger SketchGirl said...

If it were my kids soccer game i'd be there cheering like made in jeans and a tshirt though i would be on the sidelines part of the time. I wonder if she ever cheers loudly in support? No much for sci fis though I loved hogans heroes, dads army and I love this tight of comedies.

At 6:55 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Star Trek is my all time favorite show or move. EVER. Period, end of story. LOL And I'm female. I refused to leave the house on Friday night when it aired. If I run across it now, I still make Dave pause. LOL

At 9:15 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Well, you'll be happy to know they're coming out with a new movie this year. I'm sorry, this line was so great from SNL. George Takai got "married" to his partner in CA and they go, "Set your phasers on STUNNING!" LOl


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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

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