Everyone's gone, so I'm not shy, I'll post. : ) Colleen is in Eureka, CA doing research for her next book, Denise is in Alaska on a cruise with her family and Di has been to a family wedding. Me? I'm here cleaning my house so people can walk through it.
I got this book from the library called, "Moms with ADD" -- and I proceeded to lose it and had to pay for it. That is almost as bad as when Jonah threw the brand new potty training book from the library, into the toilet. You can't make that stuff up. This is why I rarely use the library. Anyway, I found the book, and it's paid for, but I'll return it to the library, because that is just the kind of chick I am.
Anyway, in the book it has a graph "Normal Moms" and "Moms with ADD"
A normal mom will forget an appt two or three times a year, an ADD mom monthly, if not weekly. (Seriously, all my kids' doctors call me to show up, some of them a half an hour before. That is pathetic, but necessary, I'm afraid.)
Another one is the average person will say something offensive to quiet a room maybe once a month. ADD moms? Yeah, that's my calling card.
But reading the book made me realize how good I've gotten at overcoming so many of my deficits and as ADDers we're usually focused on all we haven't done. I have four children and yes, I will probably be late, but mostly, we're not. Mostly, the kids have their homework done and they're fed and cleaned/dressed. But not always. I've overcome my inability to grocery shop, but this light went on about how it's been such a struggle for me in the church. While other Christian moms are able to organize the weekly pot luck, I am lucky if I remember there is a pot luck -- especially if I RSVPd for it. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't expect people to pick up my slack and I don't expect special treatment, but I do wish more people understood that ADDers aren't stupid, our minds are just flying a mile a minute.
Sure, my family brings chaos when it comes, and we try to curb that, but I'm also really good with the kids people don't want to deal with -- I've learned to speak truth into those kids lives, and I'm grateful for that. My desk will always be a mess of coffee cups and scattered papers, but I've written forty books there and so I want to encourage other Christian moms who can't run their homes with factory precision. Maybe that's not your calling. Maybe your calling is to be there for that "perfect" mom when she breaks down. Just a thought. My baby cousin, Levi.
Labels: Christian moms with ADD, Moms with ADD
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8 Comments:
Kristin, I promise, you are not the only parent whose child dropped a potty training book into the toilet.
A father carrying a brown paper bag approached my desk in the children's area. He turned several shades of red as he pulled a water-damaged book out the bag and explained that his toddler dropped it into the toilet.
Since then, whenever I give a parent a book on potty training, I picture that poor dad with the brown paper bag. :-)
I just need to tell you that this blog post, today, was such a gift to me. What you described, as life for you, is remarkably like life for me, and I'm just starting to realize that this is my explanation!
I work from my home, in an accounting type job that doesn't fit me very well, but we need the money. I watch other mothers and women manage life calmly, focused and organized. And I want that, I really do. But something seems to short out, when I try. And the harder I try, the worse it gets! Too MUCH to focus on!
Thank you, thank you, for being willing to share this, and doing so with humor and humility. What an unexpected gift your post was, to me!
Judy, the book was brand new to the library, both the ADD and the potty training one. That should be a sign to me, if the book isn't well-worn, keep it at the library!
And Farmer's Wife, that book is really good (Moms with ADD) because it really helped me see how far I'd come. There's a lot I don't do right, and it's so easy to focus on that, but in a way that's not being grateful. I'll never be perfect, so I just have to be the best Kristin. Which is probably like Martha -10, but whatever.
I'm rewriting this book again and again, so I feel for you in the job. We know we should be grateful, but that doesn't make it easier, it's just more beating ourselves up.
I've had to learn that ADD just means that my talent is not organizing, filing, or being the class mom. But I do sometimes envy women that seem to do these things so naturally and effortlessly. And they don't look frazzled!
Life is probably so much easier when you don't have to "find" your keys several times a day :)
Dawn, the book said that most people lose their keys two or three times a year, we do it at least that often in a month. LOL I have a hook by the door, but usually my husband is the one who puts it back for me.
My mother is so amazingly organized. I wish I could be like her for my kids because it would make it easier. But I have learned to organize pretty well, with all these moves, I've had to or I'd never find anything.
SPEAK IT! I'm not a mom but I'm a single ADDer. I'm not chasing around after 4 kids, but I'm trying to live my life. You are right, an ADDer isn't stupid, we are just thinking of 1000 things at once. I think that makes us smarter! :)
Kristin, it worries me, and at the same time comforts me, that I relate so much to what you say.
I have not been diagnosed as ADD, but I'm wondering if I am. Typically, because I'm blonde, that is what I'm tagged with--"Oh, you're so blonde!"
My poor 20-year-old showed up at the dentist on spring break to be told, "Someone's going to have to come get you because we're taking your wisdom teeth out today!"
Duh, Crystal, loser mom of the year...forgot that they were doing that (honest, I thought she said over summer break...)
P.S. Levi is so precious!
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