Chaos Ensues
Some people are destined to live a life full of chaos. I wish I was not that person, but sadly, I am. I just finished reading "Furious Love" which is the love story of Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor and it actually encouraged me. I thought, well, life isn't that chaotic and since I don't plan to get to 8 husbands, i guess they never will be quite that bad. It helps that I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world, or a movie star and I don't own jewelry so big it looks fake. So life is good, huh?
The problem with my life is that priorities always shift when you're a mom. You can PLAN one thing, but it will never happen that way. Something will inevitably come up and you'll do something different -- with four, I think it multiplies by about 2 million. I spent $245 on food at Costco last Thursday and by Tuesday, you couldn't tell I'd been to the store in the last two years. So I planned to go to the grocery store on Wednesday (two days ago Wed), but after I dropped the kids off at VBS (two are teaching, one is going, and one was with me), my editor informed me a file I sent her had been corrupted. ACK! Worked all morning at the coffee shop to get that right.
The devotionals I'm working on needed some tweaking, so then my mind went to that and how to fix it. Finally, my agent contacted me and said they needed a new picture. That was actually yesterday. Today, I got a reminder. I'm working on edits that are actually due on Monday for another project altogether. And I would totally love to be a stay-at-home mom and not work. Except, if I didn't have my money to buy my escapes, I think I might go nuts.
I want to be one of those moms who knows what's for dinner next Tuesday -- who makes a grocery list and sticks to it. I want to be the mom who exudes peace and gently asks their kids would they like pancakes or scrambled eggs for breakfast, but I am not that mom. I see them as I send a BlackBerry text to my editor when I'm supposed to be watching the VBS show.
It's an old story: working moms versus stay-at-home moms, but I fall somewhere in between since I try to do both. It doesn't work incidentally, but I take solace in the fact that I'd be a terrible stay-at-home mom and then I wouldn't have an excuse. I didn't volunteer for VBS this year though, and that's a step in the right direction toward accepting the fact that I am a working Mom. I did raid the nursery at the end of each day to get my baby fix. I try to give moms the benefit of the doubt. I wish we'd all do the same. You say po tay to, I say po tah to, we're all moms. We all want what's best for our kids, right? But that looks different depending on our natural skill set. Personally, I think I've accomplished something if everyone goes to bed fed and clean. What's your skill set? What are you naturally good at? That place where you can find some solace in your abilities?
Labels: chaos, sahm, VBS, working moms
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5 Comments:
I guess my skill set is that my family laughs about a million times a day, and that I, unfortunately, provide the fodder for said laughter, at least 70% of the time.
I was a stay-at-home mom for most of my mothering life. I was best at the home-schooling stuff. We had a wonderful time and neither son nor I would change anything we did for the world! Cooking and cleaning and chauffering and shopping and all that stuff are another story! LOL
I am a working mom, too. I think you're too hard on yourself. Hey, if you grocery shopped at all, fed them any food, even got them to bed clean AND in a timely way...that's success!
My mom worked and I don't remember that as being a bad thing. She gave us time when we needed it and she loved us. We were proud of her and what she did. As kids, we didn't care if our house looked like a wreck sometimes or we ate eggs for lunch or dinner because she hadn't been to the store.
I'm hoping my daughter will one day look back, as I look back at my mom, and will say, "My mom did the best she could--and it was fine."
I'll bet your kids will do the same--and will be proud of you. :)
I am a stay-at-home mom. But considering I raided my kids' piggy bank to get a cash tip for my pedicure, nearly forgot to give them dinner last night, and proceeded to kick them out of the living room this morning so I could watch A&E's "Obsessed," I might want to re-think my day job.
But I am a fantastic cuddler, book reader, and cheer-er on-er at itty bitty T-ball!!
Those are the best stories. It's true that kids remember things differently, and I am a perfectionist. It's a very annoying part of my nature I'd like to be rid of actually. Crystal, that STORY is so fabulous! I love it, and I am not above it, but now that my kids are older? I get it out of the laundry from their lunch money change. LOL
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