Girls Write Out
Tuesday, October 30, 2012

TColleen and Dave ACFW 2012oday Dave and I have been married 41 years. Hard to imagine that so much time has gone by since I was a bright-eyed nineteen year old and he was a handsome Air Force Tech Sergeant. I love him more now than the day I married him. God knew just who I needed.  So in honor of our anniversary, I'm going to share our tips for having a lasting marriage. And not just one that endures, but one that thrives and gets better with the years.

1. Always put the other person first. My Dave is great at this. He would move heaven and earth to please me.

2. Say "I love you" every day. Not just once but multiple times a day. Touch your guy when you pass him on the way to the kitchen. Just a hand on his shoulder as you pass is enough to let him know you're thinking about him.

3. Don't argue just to win an argument. Sometimes it's better to just shut up, even if you think you're right. Is being right worth any harm the argument might bring to your relationship? 

4. Don't let the kids play you against each other. We've all been there. Enough said. :)

5. Take some time to do things together. Go out to eat, go to a movie or for a drive. Even going for a walk after dinner to talk alone together helps.

6. Praise him when he does things around the house. No one likes to be taken for granted. When he finally fixes the faucet, lavish on the praise. And MEAN it. Don't say, "Well, you finally did it."  And don't immediately point out the next thing on the honey-do list. 

7. Take time to dream together. What would you like your future to look like? Talk about your goals and encourage him to reach for his. Sometimes it's hard. Dave went to college when the kids were small. He worked full time and went to school full time. He was gone 4 nights a week, and I had the responsibility for two toddlers. With working full time, he didn't have time to read all his homework either, so I read it onto tape and he listened to it on his two hour a day round trip drive. Now it's his turn, and he is my biggest encourager with my writing.

8. Every year get away from the day-to-day grind and take a vacation. If money is a problem, plan something close by for a few days.

Now how about you? What's your tip for making a relationship thrive?

Colleen Coble  
posted at 9:24 AM  
  Comments (14)
 
 
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14 Comments:
At 9:30 AM, Blogger Sabrina L. Fox said...

Show respect to each other.

We've been married almost 20 years and that's a big thing for me. I can't stand to see a woman or man for that matter speak down to their spouse or try to make them look foolish. Respect goes a long way. :)

I too love my hubby way more than I did all those years ago. :)

 
At 9:31 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

That is a SUPER important one, Sabrina!

 
At 10:14 AM, Blogger dave c said...

Always tell the truth with love is another very important way to let your spouse know you love them. Also always telling the truth lets them know you can be trusted when you are apart for any reason. The lack of trust will destroy any marriage.

 
At 10:15 AM, Blogger dave c said...

Always tell the truth with love is another very important way to let your spouse know you love them. Also always telling the truth lets them know you can be trusted when you are apart for any reason. The lack of trust will destroy any marriage.

 
At 3:33 PM, Blogger Linda G said...

I have been so thankful for my husband, especially the past two months. I broke my arm on September 8 and then found out I am diabetic.
Bruce has been waiting on me hand and foot. I have never felt so helpless. After 30 years of marriage I don't know what I would do without him.

 
At 5:32 PM, Blogger Chris Ferguson said...

After 23 yrs of a difficult marriage I found my true love. We have been together almost 20yrs now and what I have learned is to pay no attention at all to the small stuff. Who cares how the towels are folded,or if the toothpaste cap is on right? All I care about is seeing that man walk through the door every night with his smile.....heaven!




 
At 5:32 PM, Blogger Chris Ferguson said...

After 23 yrs of a difficult marriage I found my true love. We have been together almost 20yrs now and what I have learned is to pay no attention at all to the small stuff. Who cares how the towels are folded,or if the toothpaste cap is on right? All I care about is seeing that man walk through the door every night with his smile.....heaven!




 
At 7:15 AM, Blogger Candice Sue said...

I too got married at nineteen to my best friend from high school. We've been married going on twelve years now. There have been some ups and downs, we've learned a lot (and are still learning) but the one thing that keeps us strong is God. When life gets busy and we start to stray from Him, our family feels discord. Spending time in God's word/prayer/church keeps our sights on His intention of the home/family. That holds us together.

Also, laughter. One of my favorite things about our marriage is that we've always laughed together. We have fun, act silly with the kids, and laugh- sometimes at each other. :)

 
At 7:55 AM, Blogger Candice Sue said...

Congratulations, Colleen and Dave, for sticking together for 41 years! What an example you are in a society that takes marriage so lightly.

 
At 9:25 AM, Blogger Hannah Alexander said...

What wonderful advice here. Colleen, I've seen how you and Dave are with each other. Thanks for reminding us to touch when we pass each other. That's one I don't do, so I'm going to start! Mel's in for a surprise ;-)

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger Meghan Carver said...

Congratulations, Colleen, and thanks for the great advice. My husband has been in school for many years of our marriage, and it has been tough. I don't know that we're through it yet, but that's part of looking to the future together.

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger jel said...

AweSome and way to go, on being together for 41 years! :)

 
At 7:17 AM, Blogger Deborah Raney said...

Great, great advice, Colleen and I've been around you and Dave enough to know you put these things into practice and that your marriage is a genuine example to anyone who knows you. Happy anniversary (a few days late) and may you have many, many more. If you make it as long as my husband's grandparents did, you are just now halfway through your marriage! They just missed celebrating their 82nd anniversary.

 
At 9:09 AM, Blogger Sandie said...

Happy Anniversary! We will celebrate 30 years in December. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.

 

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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

www.KristinBillerbeck.com

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

www.ColleenCoble.com

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

www.DeniseHunterBooks.com

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

www.DiannHunt.com

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

www.HannahAlexander.com

 
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