Girls Write Out
Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Lose Ten Pounds Easily!

Why are we suckered into these stupid articles that promise easy weight loss? Aren't we smarter than that? Is there a reason we can't watch "The Biggest Loser" without food? I'm obsessing over these questions. Here's the latest tips I've seen and my answer to the "easy" fixes:

1. Fiber rich foods fill you up longer!
This is essentially saying if you eat a pound of fresh spinach, and not a DeBrand's truffle, you won't be hungry as quickly. Does anyone else see the problem? Chocolate...spinach. Right, I see the connection. If you think spinach will make your chocolate craving go away, you're just living in a false reality.

2. Drinks: Wine and rich coffee drinks add empty calories, go for water instead.
Again, who are these people? If you don't know the difference between a frappacino and an Evian, just drink out of that rain puddle at the gas station for crying out loud.

3. Instead of half & half, add skim milk to your coffee.
Oh right. I won't miss that at all. Give me the watery, blue stuff, please!

4. Spice it up! Spicy foods can raise your metabolism...
unless it's in Mongolian Beef, Doritos, and Palak Gosht (Indian Spinach lamb). Pretty much, anything that tastes good and is spicy (Okay, except salsa -- but then what do you put them on, hmmm?) is fattening.

Skinny people are cranky for a reason.

Faith, Froth & a Designer Handbag
With this Ring, I'm Confused -- WestBow Press
She's All That -- Integrity PublishersA Girl's Best Friend -- April, 2006
Kristin Billerbeck  
posted at 6:12 PM  
  Comments (19)
Delicious Delicious
At 12:49 AM, Blogger rockr girl said...

i completely agree with you. i have made it my mission among my gfs to be the voice of reason, or at least the one who says are you kidding me?!

i think a balanced diet contains copious amounts of chocolate, lattes (made with whole milk), and cheese (mine comes with a liberal smattering of bacon).

i can be skinny when i am dead.

At 2:41 AM, Blogger eileen said...

Chocolate=That's why God had man invent elastic. (I'm telling you these flannel lined pants are so me.)

At 11:14 AM, Blogger Corina Bowen said...

This pudgy gal is still wondering how she woke up this way.......One day I was skinny, eating whatever I wanted... the next I have a talking scale saying "One at a time!"
Aggg that must be why God has called me to get my temple fit..
Either that or take the batteries out of the scale.

At 12:12 PM, Blogger Chaos-Jamie said...

Once, Oprah had her "how-did-they-lose-all-that-weight-aren't they-great-inspirations" show and one guest said "I quit drinking my calories." I made a noise of great disdain and turned off the TV. I would give up food before I would quit drinking my calories, thank you. How does a girl survive without her frappuccino, her dutch dark hot chocolate, her Pepsi, I ask you? I may not be holy, but my tastebuds are satisfied.

At 4:15 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

Isn't chocolate a food group? I'm sure it is!

We always stay at the Hilton down the road when we go to Mt Hermon. We like two phone lines, internet service and Los Gatos coffee. We're such princesses. Not that the accomodations at Mt Hermon are bad, but it's a camp after all. We don't do camp. Holiday Inn is our idea of roughing it. LOL

At 4:37 PM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

LOL, Colleen!

All this talk about food is making me hungry!

Great blog, K!

At 4:43 PM, Blogger Megan DiMaria said...

Oh, thanks! Now I have to go get a flavored cappuccino.

At 6:45 PM, Blogger Elaina Avalos said...

Now I want Starbucks and I've put myself on a Starbucks budget. Already had my drink for the week. Thanks a lot Kristen. =)

Funny stuff. Although, sadly I'm one of the converted. Only whole milk in her lattes girl is now soy milk or non fat in her lattes girl. And even worse? Sugar free hazelnut. Yes, it's true. I went over to the other side and have been doing South Beach.

This half Mexican who swore on all that was holy (I didn't really, I'm kidding) that I would never eat low fat sour cream, well it's sad but I actually bought non-fat sour cream last week. And I actually eat whole wheat tortillas. I think I can hear mi abuelos turning over in their graves.

What's wrong with me? Reading your post makes me miss the good old days of sugar and white bread. Sheesh.

But thanks for the laugh!

At 10:57 PM, Blogger Camy Tang said...

ROFL!!! But you are not helping me when I'm trying to lose weight. Luckily, I've discovered Starbucks soy lattes with sugar-free vanilla syrup. It's almost as good as the whole-fat, full-sugar ones.

At 12:21 AM, Blogger Kristin Billerbeck said...

I drink the soy mnochas too, Camy. IT's a good compromise. Once in a great while, I'llput whipped cream on it as a treat, but not too often. It's really hard to grow up naturally skinny and eat what you want, and then, BAM, you get older and that changes. Just bums me out. LOL

Sorry, I made you guys hungry.

At 12:52 AM, Blogger Pammer said...


It's a pain to try to keep in shape after children and the twenties. :0)

But you look great.


At 12:52 AM, Anonymous JeanK. said...

ROFL, So this is where you gals have been hanging. I read a snippet in the paper the other day that said Dr. Phil made it rich on selling trust. That he said, "try my vitamins and diet books and you'll be skinny." We trusted his word and wah lah. We're skinny. Oh, We're not? Well I'll be a monkey's uncle. Let's buy the next book. Maybe it explains more clearly. Hee hee, I LOVE the Silk, chocolate soy milk. I'm notold enough to drink coffee yet, so I'll have to wait to experience that.

At 9:41 AM, Blogger Robin Caroll said...

Okay, so I'm starving now. I'm sorry, I prefer all the fat and calories I can get. I want to FEEL my veins clogging. :)

At 1:11 PM, Anonymous Jennifer said...

I totally agree. I was just crying to my husband about my weight. I think my exact words were, "Whatever I need to do, I'll do it. Just tell me what to eat, what to do, and I'll do it. The next day I think I was saying, "Where is the brownie mix? I need brownies!!"

What does my husband say? He's smart, he's learned to let me give in to my cravings. And you're right, no matter how much salad, veggies, meat I eat, I still have the chocolate craving. Can't we get a pill to stop that?

At 1:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry to break it to you, but i am a coffee and chocolate HATER. cant stand it makes me sick just thinking of it.

and i only drink soy milk

At 3:29 PM, Anonymous HolyMama! said...

I found out how to order at Starbucks where they make a caffe mocha as low cal as possible. The girl said, just say "skinny, please." So I did as she instructed, and the next time I said "skinny please." And guess what? Naaaasty. Can you say, "Fat please?!"

OH MY GOSH! The squiggly word that you have to enter at the bottom says "Bustymam." How funny. How untrue.

At 9:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes! I've been picking up on that for a while too! There is a reason why people don't naturally substitute healthy foods in junk foods! If I'm gonna drink a soda, I want real soda. If I'm going healthy, I'll drink water. If I'm eating ice cream, bring on the good stuff. Then I'll take a walk or eat a carrot or something. I can't be satisfied with this low cal/carb business. I eat it or I don't eat it.

At 1:20 AM, Anonymous Georgia said...

I know it's not chocolate or caffeine-related, but I have a beef with McDonald's for taking away my Supersize. For crying out loud, let me choose my own unhealthy portion. No one goes to McDonald's to get healthy anyway; if I wanted healthy, I'd cook at home. Mmm, maybe not.

As for the caffeine- I'm a breastfeeding mom, so now I've been reduced to "half-caff," my own combo of Starbucks with half regular and half decaf. Let me tell you, I can't wait to get back to the good stuff.

At 2:57 PM, Blogger Dee said...

This entry was great fun. Now I have to go make some hot chocolate before my daughter comes home from school. She's five. No chocolate for her after eight in the morning:)


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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

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