Girls Write Out
Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Okay, I officially hate dresses. Saturday I'm getting ready for my nephew's wedding and decide to wear a dress. Dresses themselves are okay--it's the pantyhose and shoes that get me. Getting ready, I realize I probably haven't had a dress on in a year. Tugging and pulling for several minutes before I get them up, I lay panting on my bed like a whale that's being squeezed to death by a giant squid.

Okay, I admit maybe the pantyhose were a trifle small, but mostly it was that the only pair I had in the house was the "support" type. What are they supposed to be supporting, and why do they have to feel like they're five sizes too small? But okay, I get them on and I'm waddling around feeling that I'm a sausage. I pull on the dress. That part was easy. Then it's time for shoes. Did I mention that heels are a misery to me because I've broken my feet and ankles so many times? But I can do this, right? Okay, I won't mention the fact that I practically kill myself walking down the stairs when the shoe slides out from under me, but it's one evening. Anyone can wear a dress for one evening.

Let me just say right here that it was the most miserable night I've spent in I don't know when. And I have to do it all over again in a little over two weeks when my own son gets married. And I'll be expected to dance the mother/son dance with my boy! I can see the way I'll have to waddle around now. Any tips, suggestions to make my night fun? Do you all wear dresses commonly? And whose idea was it to make us wear hose and heels? Help!
Colleen Coble  
posted at 6:56 AM  
  Comments (17)
Delicious Delicious
At 9:18 AM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

I hate hose too! When I buy a dress, which isn't often, I get one that's casual enough to wear sandals with. You can always wear a support girdle (boy that's an ugly-sounding word) which are a lot less obnoxious than hose.

At 9:34 AM, Blogger glimpsing gal said...

One word - SPANX. They're a combination hose/girdle type of thing, but are truly comfortable. No kidding. They even made Oprah's favorites list a while back. A WOMAN designed these and they are being carried in high-end stores. This same woman has designed a more affordable brand that Target is carrying now. I can't remember what it's called right now, just cruise the hosery aisle and you'll see it for sure.

I couldn't agree more about hose. My husband says it's payback for the men having to wear ties. When we can, we ditch both the tie AND the hose!

At 9:54 AM, Blogger Winter said...

I cheat, if I have to wear hose I wear the knee highs, course the dress has to be long enough to cover them. But like Denise, I opt for the nice but casual look where I can wear sandals.

Heels and me are not a mix, unless they're the chunky kind. I have weak, weak, ankles and I can't stand in heels. My mom about died laughing the first time she wanted to buy me heels. I couldn't even walk in them, unless the heel was parallel to the floor.

At 11:03 AM, Blogger Robin Caroll said...

I'm a firm believer in THIGH HIGHS! LOL

At 11:32 AM, Blogger Jennifer Tiszai said...

I'm with Robin on the thigh highs. I bought a dress just last night for the three functions this summer. I haven't worn one in at least two years that wasn't a sundress. But I am not wearing pantyhose. Thigh highs are much more comfortable.

At 12:07 PM, Anonymous Bethanie said...

i like long skirts and tops... and flats. i hate heels. i fall over in them. heck i fall over in my sneakers. actually i should join the cast of Scrubs. they are all as clumsy as me. (ok so i watched an entire season of Scrubs today... lol)

oh and is it my imagination or are those word verification things getting longer and longer? :|

At 1:58 PM, Blogger Jaime said...

no nylons, long dress, painted toenails and fancy cute flat sandals = COMFORT!!
My mom wore the prettiest long dress at my wedding and simple shoes and was more pretty than me! No one around here (WI) wears nylons anymore - it's like a boycott thing or something, I think. If they're really self-conscious they hit a tanning booth.

At 2:30 PM, Blogger Rebecca said...

The fashionable ladies who visit my blog are almost unanimous in proclaiming pantihose a thing of the past. I personally vote for Jaime's plan, although you could wear a cute ballet flat and by-pass the painted toenails as well.

At 2:33 PM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

I'll have to check out that Spanx thing. I'm thinking of getting a dressy suit for the wedding so I'd probably need to waar some kind of hose. Sigh. The thigh highs are worth considering too. Thanks girls!

At 2:55 PM, Anonymous Melissa S. said...

Another easy casual thing to consider instead of the hose is a a "glow" lotion--gives you a nice even look without the hassle of trying to tug any hose onto the body or trying to get a suntan. Neutrogena and Jergens are couple of companies that carry these products. Not outragiously priced and not the old coppertone orange. Hope all goes well with your outift.

At 8:09 PM, Blogger Julie Carobini said...

I'm with Jamie. NO nylons, long dress/skirt, comfy low heel (leather only if you want pain-free). Good excuse for a pedicure too :-)

At 11:43 PM, Blogger Kayla said...

I NEVER wear dresses or skirts. I think that there are so many different dress pants that are gorgeous and they're COMFORTABLE. I confess that I absolutely LOVE high heels, but I refuse to wear dresses, skirts, and hose. *shudder of horror*

At 11:46 PM, Blogger Kristin Billerbeck said...

Spray tan yourself, and get a pair of shoes that are cute yet comfortable. A pedicure will finish the trick. I feel like a sausage in nylons, and I can't fun when encumbered like that.

There's some great products to suck you in now. When I went to my reunion, I went to Nordy's and told them my problem. she came out, very excited with a flimsy piece of material that made me look like a teenager. Technology. There is no reason to be uncomfortable anymore. And the shoes out there, oh don't get me started.

At 12:11 AM, Anonymous LM said...

lol...tanning creams work a wonder on the skin! I use Jergen's whatever low glow tan or something like that...make sure your toes are sparkly and your legs are shaved, you've been using the Jergen's glow lotion and voila! No hose necessary!
hugs and love LM

At 4:14 AM, Blogger Camy Tang said...

Yick! Hate hose. I'll have to look for SPANX. I usually try to get away with bare shaved legs. You won't see any hose on me at the ACFW Awards ceremony!


At 8:57 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

You can get by with no hose, Camy. You're SKINNY. LOL I've been researching those Spanx things. I'm SO going to get some and try them!

At 12:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ladies, Sandels and flip flops are gross. nobody wants to see your little piglets at a party. Knee highs are funny because the tops always show and people laugh at you. So that leaves thigh highs and pantyhose.....ohh and guys loves both....we hate flip flops and whining women...


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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

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