Okay, I officially hate dresses. Saturday I'm getting ready for my nephew's wedding and decide to wear a dress. Dresses themselves are okay--it's the pantyhose and shoes that get me. Getting ready, I realize I probably haven't had a dress on in a year. Tugging and pulling for several minutes before I get them up, I lay panting on my bed like a whale that's being squeezed to death by a giant squid.
Okay, I admit maybe the pantyhose were a trifle small, but mostly it was that the only pair I had in the house was the "support" type. What are they supposed to be supporting, and why do they have to feel like they're five sizes too small? But okay, I get them on and I'm waddling around feeling that I'm a sausage. I pull on the dress. That part was easy. Then it's time for shoes. Did I mention that heels are a misery to me because I've broken my feet and ankles so many times? But I can do this, right? Okay, I won't mention the fact that I practically kill myself walking down the stairs when the shoe slides out from under me, but it's one evening. Anyone can wear a dress for one evening.
Let me just say right here that it was the most miserable night I've spent in I don't know when. And I have to do it all over again in a little over two weeks when my own son gets married. And I'll be expected to dance the mother/son dance with my boy! I can see the way I'll have to waddle around now. Any tips, suggestions to make my night fun? Do you all wear dresses commonly? And whose idea was it to make us wear hose and heels? Help!