BOOMER GALS GET UGLY OVER DIET POP.
It started out as normal tour day. The usual getting dressed, eating breakfast, drinking coffee, climbing into the RV after DeBrand truffles Bookstore stops along the way ran smoothly despite the oppressive heat of the day.
Perhaps it’s that same heat that turned the Taco Bell into a lunchroom brawl when boomer authors Colleen Coble and Diann Hunt were about to place their drink orders.
Witnesses say the incident went something like this:
OFFICER ARNOLD: So what made you think you had the right to stop Ms Hunt from having what she wanted?
COLLEEN: I was only looking out for Di’s best interests, Officer. She gets headaches. Nutrasweet is evil. It’s poison. She shouldn’t be ingesting it. How was I to know she was going to insist on polluting her body? You should have seen the look on her face. She nearly bared her teeth.
At this point Officer Arnold and Officer McConnell notice Ms. Hunt is still baring her teeth.
OFFICER MCCONNELL: “Mrs. Hunt witnesses say you were a little, well, too passionate about your drink. Were you, in fact, out of control?
DIANN: You didn’t see her! I thought she was going to throw herself in front of the drink counter to keep me away. Besides, she’s been drowning me with her mountain spring waters till I’m ready to jump off a cliff.
OFFICER MCCONNELL: Just stick to the facts at hand, ma’am.
WITNESS: If I might interject, Officer. I saw the whole thing. In their defense, I will say heat sometimes gets to outsiders when they come to town to visit.
OFFICER MCCONNELL: Just the facts, ma’am. Just stick to the facts.
WITNESS 2: Yeah, but she was way over-reacting to that whole diet drink thing. I’ve been drinking it home some too
COLLEEN: What?? You’re not supposed to be drinking it anytime.
WITNESSE 3: Yeah, she was only trying to help her friend.
OFFICER MCCONNELL: Just stick to the facts.
WITNESS 1: As I was saying—
DIANN: I’ve been drinking iced tea and water all week.
COLLEEN: Yes, but you cheated and got diet pop at Burger King even after all I’ve told you about those headaches! Why I sent you a web link just the other day . . .
OFFICERS ARNOLD AND MCCONNELL: Just stick to the facts, ma’am. Just stick to the facts.
Just as things were heating up between the officers, the boomers, and the employees, counter boy entered the room, carrying a large pitcher of unsweetened tea, and the palpable tension eased from the room. The officers left the scene, the boomers hugged and made up, though this reporter did hear one of the women grumbling something about her fill of stinkin’ tea
Something tells me this thing ain’t over yet. Officers are standing by . . . .