Girls Write Out
Monday, July 03, 2006


FOURTH OF JULY FOLLY

What is it with men and fireworks? I mean, I appreciate the city display of colorful, blooming sparks in the night sky and yes, the loud bass booms that thump my ribcage. What I’m talking about is the hazardous Fourth of July combination of man, lighter, and a case of store-bought fireworks.

It begins young, as I’m beginning to see with my own boys, and is apparently gender related. “Can we get fireworks today?” my boys ask for the tenth time in the past week. They know their dad will stop eventually, unable to resist the temptation of anything that combines fire and explosion.

Not any old explosion for my husband, though. No, if a few firecrackers are exciting, what will three hundred will be like? And bottle rockets? Why light just one? Let’s line them up from here to Illinois and see what happens.

When he was a kid, Kevin lit firecrackers in a bush and caught the neighbor’s house on fire. When he got bored with firecrackers he and a friend had Roman candle fights wherein they aimed them at each other. I asked my husband what every woman reading this wants to know: Why?

“It was exciting to see a fireball coming at you.”
Okay then.

One husband, three boys, and I still don’t understand the male species. In fact, the more I learn about the male mind, the more I wonder how they ever make it to adulthood.

This Fourth of July, I supposed I’ll do what I always do. Stand a safe twenty yards away yelling futile things like “Be careful”, “Stay back”, and “Are you sure you’re supposed to do that?”

Denise Hunter  
posted at 3:40 AM  
  Comments (12)
 
 
Delicious Delicious
12 Comments:
At 12:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Denise,
Boy can I relate. A husband and three boys - That's me! My boys are still young - 4, 2 & 5 months - and already the two oldest are showing very "guy" qualities. Right now it's all about superheroes. You can't turn around in my house without tripping over something superhero. Clothes, toys, movies, food (it's even on chip bags). The list goes on. And there seems to be this fascination with anything loud, fast or gross. And if you can combine all three, even better.

Yup, I don't get it either. But I love them! Don't understand them, but love them!

 
At 1:53 AM, Blogger Malia Spencer said...

Your husband and boys would love New Year's around here. Hundreds of thousands go up in smoke every year. It's so bad that when you're driving on the street you can't see more than a few feet, the smoke is so thick.

I hate New Year's and 4th of July with a passion. I'm allergic to smoke and it's really hard on me. I can minimize things with the AC and blocking the windows with sheets but stuff still gets in. I can't wait for it all to be over.

 
At 9:28 AM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

Kristin also has three boys, though she has a girl to balance things out a little. Still, we both know all about loud, fast, and gross. LOL

Malia, how awful! I didn't know anyone could be allergic to regular smoke.

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Jennifer Tiszai said...

Oh, gosh, that's so funny! And true! Over the years our fireworks have been restricted in California and now Arizona because of fire danger. But when we go camping, you should see the things my husband, brothers, dad, and uncles throw into the fire. "Just to see what happens."

You're right. How do they live long enough to grow up?

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger Kristin Billerbeck said...

Men like to blow things up. This is a day that makes it legal! I'll be there with you. "Don't touch that." "Do you have the water close enough?" ROFLOL

 
At 11:53 AM, Blogger Jaime said...

Wow. My husband must be odd. He just turns his movie up really loud to drown out the sound of fireworks. When I ask him if he wants to join me in the front yard to watch, his reply is - "Fireworks? What's the big deal?"

 
At 12:13 PM, Anonymous Jessica said...

I have a dad and sister who have the disease! They decided to make sure all the duds went off one year, they were going to get their money's worth out of them this year..... lets just say it involved gasoline and gunpowder! need less to say I left the area VERY quickly!

 
At 12:42 PM, Blogger Sabrina L. Fox said...

I admit...I'm a chicken and I hate fireworks. I like to watch the display at the park, but I think to blow stuff up at home you should be qualified some how.

My husband doesn't go all out, but he does buy some for my son. Last night I watched from the dining room. I felt safe enough. LOL. Another bad thing this year is daylight savings time. I'm figuring it will be after 10:00 before the park starts the big display. Sigh.

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

Yeah, Sabrina, we were wondering the same thing about DST.

Jessica, I know what you mean. Kevin has been known to use gasoline and a blow torch to light bon fires. Of course, they're so hot you can't get close enough to roast marshmallows. LOL

 
At 9:03 PM, Blogger Ane Mulligan said...

I really had a chuckle over this, Denise.

When we lived in southern California, our neighbors went to Mexico to buy fireworks. The professional kind. We all sat outside watching, then one of my biys had to go to the bathroom.

He came streaking back in two seconds delighted to bring the news our woodpile was on fire.

Yep, one of those 8" diameter fireworks landed in our yard. Fortunately, as exciting as the fire was, playing fireman with the hose was just as ecciting to a ten-year-old. Whew!

 
At 10:58 PM, Blogger Tiff/Amber Miller said...

Denise, I'm with you. Raised with my father and 3 brothers and all their friends. You'd think I'd understand men too.

Not a chance!

And they say women are hard to understand. :)

 
At 9:55 PM, Blogger Gary Wade said...

Maybe this might help you to understand, if not to relate perfectly, but I would say that our fascination with fireworks is getting to experience the power being used. While it can be fun to watch them being done by someone else, it's more fun to be a participant, the one who lights the fuse, knowing that we handled that power and walked away from it (ideally with all body parts still functional and attached).

Yes, that sounds awfully right-of-passage like, but it's akin to getting behind the wheel of a high-performance convertible and speeding down a long, open road. It's the thrill, the rush, the excitement, the power! Can I hear a double grunt from Tim-the-Toolman Taylor?

Well, for me, though, a 4 GHz Apple MacBook Pro with a 10,000 RPM hard drive and 4 GB RAM floats my boat (and, if you leave it on your lap too long, it can be as hot as the aforementioned firecrackers if you don't let go soon enough).

 

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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

www.KristinBillerbeck.com

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

www.ColleenCoble.com

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

www.DeniseHunterBooks.com

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

www.DiannHunt.com

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

www.HannahAlexander.com

 
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