Girls Write Out
Sunday, June 17, 2007
In honor of the single life Ashley Stockingdale had to lead, I give you exhibit A -- courtesy of April, a reader. : ) I don't know, these are so real, I'm not sure they're funny.

Understanding Engineers.
Take One

Two engineering students were riding their bikes across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer,
the glass is twice as big as it needs to be!

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime. The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight"

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet!

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
Kristin  
posted at 1:05 AM  
  Comments (13)
 
 
Delicious Delicious
13 Comments:
At 2:19 AM, Blogger Julie Carobini said...

hahahaha...is it pc to laugh? No? Well then. Hahahahahahahaha....

 
At 8:01 AM, Blogger Belinda Peterson said...

Very funny. My son is a liberal arts major right now and my dad always says, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
I think I'll share these with them.
Thanks!!

 
At 10:49 AM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

Oh my goodness, those are HILARIOUS!!!!

 
At 12:26 PM, Blogger Annie said...

HAHAHAHAHA!! Those are great!!! Thanks K! :-)

 
At 12:33 AM, Blogger Heather said...

{snort} Oh my! My brother is an engineer (as is my dad). . . and some of these are SOOOOO him! Thanks for posting these.

 
At 12:58 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

BTW, I told these jokes to my husband and he literally shrugged at some of them, like, "What's funny?" UGH! Engineers!! Here's hoping I'm not replaced by a talking frog in the near future. : )

 
At 1:38 PM, Blogger Deena said...

ROFL!!!!!!!!!

 
At 11:13 PM, Blogger Chaos-Jamie said...

oh. my. goodness. That is my husband.

 
At 7:52 AM, Blogger Lisa Jordan said...

Hahahahaha!!!!

I'm printing these out for hubby to take to work and share with the engineers in his department!

 
At 2:59 PM, Blogger Pam S. said...

Hilarious.

I like #3 and #5 best.

 
At 5:35 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

My husband would totally say number five like it was nothing. That's why some of those aren't funny to those of us with an abundance of engineers in their lives. LOL I must like them though, they're everywhere. LOL

 
At 11:43 PM, Blogger April said...

Thanks, Kristin, for the mention! That was nice. :) These comments make the jokes that much more funny! Yikes! Good thing you engineer girls have each other! ha! ha! ha!

 
At 10:53 AM, Blogger Sally said...

2, 3 and 5 are TOTALLY true...I can laugh at them, but I totally think like that! I'm a female engineer, and I still love these jokes!

I have to disagree with #6...my branch of engineering focuses on making things simpler and easier to use...user friendly, y'know...I'm an industrial engineer.

And Kristin...I'm NOT married to an engineer...thank God! I don't think I could handle it. After dating only engineers in college, I got smart and met and married my liberal arts hubby (he was a journalist in college!).

 

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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

www.KristinBillerbeck.com

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

www.ColleenCoble.com

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

www.DeniseHunterBooks.com

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

www.DiannHunt.com

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

www.HannahAlexander.com

 
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