FRIENDSHIP
Isn't friendship a funny thing? Have you ever wondered how it is that lightning strikes and you just connect with certain people? I so clearly remember the first time I met the people who would become friends. Janet Brown, who helped me learn so much about God in my early Christian life (she and her family were the first on the scene after a terrible car accident), our former pastor's wife, Paula Parks, who has been a great friend through the years. My "girls" here on the blog. I remember meeting them for the very first time and somehow knowing we would be great friends.
It's not that we're similar. We Girls are very different yet we love one another fiercely. I just came off a big bus tour and they all helped me gear up for the challenge. Kristin found me the perfect purse (Kris, Kara is in awe of it and how perfect it is for me.) All three of them gave me some clothes advice and when I met up with them in Minneapolis before the tour, Denise and Diann checked out my outfits and encouraged me enough that I could face leaving the conference. I've been sending them pictures of my darling angel every day ad none of them are complaining. Now THAT'S friendship. LOL
Some connections happened at the tour too, and one of them was an Aussie,
Monica McInernery, who won the Australian Book of the Year. Great gal! That connection just happens. It's inexplainable and magic. I wish one of you could explain how that mysterious thing happens. So I'd love to have you tell me how you met someone who became important to you and when you knew you'd be great friends. To start us off, I'll tell how I met Kristin, since she's been the longest friend. I'd "met" her online when another writer friend, Gail Sattler, gave me her email address when the doctor's thought I might have MS. We connected immediately online but we met in person at a conference at Glorietta. I remember my family being horrified that I was going to room with someone I didn't know. She might be an axe murderer! Um, no, but she was a user. A towel user that is. She loooves baths so that night she took a bath. and used all three towels. One to dry with, one to stand on, and one to wrap around her hair. She came from the bath saying, "We need to call down for more towels." I said, "Um, Kris, those are supposed to last us all weekend." LOL She was mortified and we have a great story to tell about her now. LOL
So 'fess up. What's your story?
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Okay, I'll go first. This is how Colleen and I met the first time. We "met" on email and became critique partners but when a conference came to Chicago, we decided we'd go and share a room.
So she calls me on my way there and tells me she ran into Becky Germany (my brand new editor--my first book hadn't even released yet) and Traci Peterson and that their room was cancelled and now they were rooming with us.
Now, y'all know I'm a chicken and an introvert and all that. Back then, I was even worse. C is screaming with thrill on the other end of the phone and all I can think is, You mean my new editor is going to see me in my jammies?
And yet, we're still friends. Go figure.
That was also our first experience with romance writers, wasn't it, D? And I had lamb for the first time at the trip to Chicago.
Denise held up her end really well though! She rolled with the punches which is one of the things I really love about her. She might be scared and hate the thought of something but that's what real courage is--feeling the fear and doing it anyway. LOL
My dearest and closest friend, Jenn, came while my hubby was in college and I was pregnant with our twins. She and hubby had a class together, met and became friends. When I first met her, she stopped by after class one night and plopped right down next to me on the couch. I looked at this girl, same age as me, and thought "too close, back up, you're freaking me out!"
After talking with her a while, I got comfortable with her. To this day, I know God brought her into my life at just the right time. She's been a spiritual sounding board for me, a dear friend to listen when I need to cry, via phone, on her shoulder. When she was going through a rough time trying to conceive and couldn't, I was her shoulder.
We live far enough away we don't see each other near enough, and she's got two babies, one adopted and one her very own, and another adopted one on the way. Jenn's been my rock and my cheering squad. Had it not been for her desire to read my stuff, I don't think I would be this close to being an author.
I met a girl when I was in elementary school (I don't remember how we met), and we are still the best of friends today! In fact, I'm speaking at her church in November. It's amazing how some friendships can last a lifetime! I know that no matter what happens, I can count on her if I need her.
And I'm blessed to have several friends like that. The "Girls" are also that way, and I continually thank God for bringing them into my life!
I met my dearest friend, Catherine, at church. She'd come to our Saturday night service to give her testimony and sat right in front of me during the service. When she stood up and told how she came to Christ a short time earlier and had moved back to the Chicago area from California to help take care of her sick sister, I knew we had a lot in common. I came to Christ in my thirties and had moved back to the area from California. I tapped her on the shoulder and introduced myself. After church we jabbered like we'd known each other for years.
Since then she's joined my ladies Bible study, reconnected through Classmates.com with a highschool sweetheart and married him and we remain the best of friends. That Saturday we met had to be over ten years ago.
I met one of my closest friends, Hannah, in the oddest way. Her twin sister added me on Livejournal because she liked my username. I did want to add Hannah as well, but I was afraid that she wouldn't want to talk to me! Now, three years later, Hannah and I talk on the phone nearly every day. We've only seen each other in person on two separate occasions (for a week or two at a time, but still), but we're close beyond belief.
ok so my story with my best friend began in college... because of my prejudice. ha. this is something i'm not proud of, but at the same time, it opened my eyes in so many ways!
ok, so for the longest time around campus in St Paul, MN, i had seen this brunette, beautiful, warm and nice-looking girl in a wheelchair. I was a little intimidated because of the wheelchair and none of my friends knew her. so one day, we both were on the same interview team to be RA's (resident assistants) on campus. We immediately clicked! it was kind of funny. the observers noted how our friendship chemistry was there. So, we both were chosen as RA's, on the same building team, and on the same floor, but different wings! it was great! so that was 3 years ago and Steph is now a missionary in Taiwan, teaching children English and sharing the Gospel. We've stayed in contact for the most part, but the best part of it is our "Book of Travel". We have a journal that we write in and send back and forth from CA to Taiwan. I love it. I need to send that back to her, now that i think about it! :-)
ok i forgot to add how she wasn't in the wheelchair becuase of a disability. she had broken her ankle in a million places during track practice one day and couldn't walk. so, i was prejudiced against her before i even knew her because she was in a wheelchair. how horrible is that? nad yet now, I'm not afraid anymore. Steph is my best friend, my spiritual mentor at times, my sounding board and most importantly, my sister in Christ. Amen to that!!!
Here is a strange way to meet someone. I was in the Air Force and a buddy of mine in High School was also. I was stationed in IL and he was just coming back from overseas. His sister had a roommate in college see wanted him to meet. I agreed todrive him there since he didn't have a car. We met her and he dated her for the month he was home and I took him to the airport to fly to his duty station in Las Vegas. As he was leaving to get on his plane he told me to take care of his girl. This Oct. will be 37 years taking car of COLLEEN.
My one friend and I fell into friendship as my husband pastored her church. Over time, we just began talking and eventually hanging out. Then our husbands hit it off. We have since left that church as they have. There are times when we don't talk for months but it doesn't seem that way when we get together again.
My other friend became my friend just by working with her every day. We discovered how much alike we are and our families are. We began sharing from our hearts as time went on. Made it REALLY hard to leave my job this fall!
It is hard to stay connected in these busy lives we lead.
So I suppose I am a bit pathetic but I don't really have a close girlfriend. My husband is my best friend in the whole world. We do everything together!! My other closest friend is my cousin, on who I have 15 years on (lol) but our personalities are very similar and she can appreciate my "Youthful Immaturity" becuase she's ... youthful! :) Yeah, I'm not the run of the mill girlfriend type ... just never met one that I got really close to. But I guess that's ok too, huh? :) My "tomboy-ness" has sometimes gotten in the way! :) :)
Great stories, friends! And Jaime, whatever do you mean? you have ME!
Jamie, I feel your pain. I'm kinda in the same boat, but now I gotta stop and think about why. I think much is because we've always moved a lot, and with kids and work there just isn't a lot of time.
Actually, I think getting involved in writing has helped. I never knew how wierd I was until I met other writers, and was like, wow, now THESE are my people! I've only been involved though since, what,May?? So not sure that's long enough to build that intimate friend relationship.
So, yeah, I wasn't going to reply to this one, but thought I'd mention that you're not alone:-)
My friend Susan and I have been good friends for 35 years. Even though distance keeps us apart, we're just a phone call or an e-mail away.
Another close friend is Roxanne whom I met through ACFW. We met through an ACFW crit group in 2005, and met face to face at the conference in Nashville. Instant connection. We stay in touch through phone, e-mail, our crit group, and at the conferences. She's one of the reasons I look so forward to attending.
Awww... thanks Colleen!! :) HUGS!! Thanks for commiserating with me, Krista :) Maybe we can be friends?! :) lol I love this blog!
Oh, my word! MY BLOG!!!! I cannot BELIEVE how God has enriched my life through that little thing! What started as a lark has turned into this HUGE network of family friends who I ADORE, and author buddies who I ADORE, and publishing buddies who I ADORE...and some of whome adore me as well:-)
God, thank You, thank You, THANK YOU for my blog and my ministry. All glory and honor and praise to YOU!!!!
Okay, I just read Dave's comment and now I'm BAWLING!!! What a sweetheart...and he's handsome...of course, it could have been that baby angel doll Alexa he was holding that made him extra-good lookin;-)
I'm a hard person to get to know, I think. I'm not that friendly at first, not because I'm rude, I just feel uncomfortable in public situations. Well, maybe I am rude. i don't know. Part of me would rather watch the action than be a part of it.
And in my defense on the towels, how was I supposed to know you couldn't call down for towels? What kind of dump doesn't have towels? I didn't understand it was kind of a camp situation. Or trust me, I would have come prepared!! I had to rent a car to get espresso everyday, remember? LOL
Santa Fe is where I got Colleen addicted.
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Yet another reason to remember that conference fondly, K. And I LOVE the story about the towels. LOL You will never live that one down, just like I won't live down the Di and the morphine story. LOL
Deena, isn't Dave a sweetheart?
So Rach, even though you've been studying that "click" factor, you have no insight? LOL
Great story of how it just happens. I guess it's chemistry, just like love.
that morphine story cracks me up because it epitomizes you when you're taking care of someone. Don't bother interrupting me with the facts, I'm caretaking here!!! LOL
Hmm, I don't have too many friends these days who spend much time checking up on me or asking how I'm doing. Sometimes, I feel like I'm a walking plague or that I put off this image that I don't real friends. Wish I knew.
But, I do have 4 back East where I used to live who have known me for years and still love me. :) I don't hear from them often, but they try to keep in touch every few months or so.
The first, I met at church when I was new with my family. She ended up being the matron of honor in my wedding last year. The second, I met the first weekend of college and we eventually became roommates. The third, I met right after college when I offered to drive her to New York City and introduce her to Jane Seymour. I shall always be "the lady who took me to see Jane Seymour" to her. LOL! The fourth, I met online, and when I told her I was going to California for 10 days, she offered to stay with me and hang out, split expenses. We first met in person out there and hit if off like you described, Colleen.
I'm still looking for that "bosom buddy" and pray I'm keeping my eyes open and not missing her if she's right in front of my face.
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Good news...bad news.
One of the factors of living overseas is that good friends from the past are far, far away (9,000 miles away!). The GOOD news is that some--like Martha--have been my good friends for 37 years. (Martha and I met when we worked together at a dude ranch.) When we get together, the years fall away and we pick up exactly where we left off. The BAD news is that most my "old" friends are terrible at corresponding. So...I have to wait until a summer trip to the US every 2-3 years to make those deep connections again.
On this side of the Atlantic I've made dozens and dozens of friends in the 20+ years I've lived overseas...but this is not a stable life. People come and go A LOT. It's normal to say many, many good-byes every June and to cry lots and lots of tears. It is also normal to feel lonely often.
Does this situation bother me? Only on some days (like today, since we're talking about it). For the most part, I expect to feel lonely and "hungry for old friendships" at times. It pretty much goes with the territory.
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