I'm reading "The Power of the Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. It's a classic that's sold over ten million copies or something ridiculous like that, so I'm finally getting to it. In it, the author says something that really struck me hard. Bryed and I have been through a lot of storms these last few years. We have lost so many we loved, and jobs and made mistakes with moves. It's just been one thing after another.
Today, my husband lost his job. It was a crappy job. I mean, in terms of what it did for our family. We had no balance. He was commuting and not home until 8 or 8:30. He was leaving here at 7. He was literally a ghost and my daughter would cry for him, like her father had moved out or something.
It's hard to support a family of six in Silicon Valley, but I can honestly say, he did everything he could for this job, and it wasn't enough. So you know, at that point, you have to say
C'est la vie, right?
So anyway, Stormie's words. She said, "The husband is the head of the home, but the wife is the heart." And no matter how you twist things around, you're making more money, he's doing kid stuff, chores, etc. That fundamental thing should never change. Women should be the heart of their home and men should be the head. I just find so much power in that. I'm the heart! If my heart is cold and angry, the house is going to be that way. It needs to be warm and accepting and God-like, inviting people in with spirit. And was I really equipped to do that with a constant schedule of four kids and MS acting up? You know, maybe I'd grown a little chilly.
Please don't feel sorry for us. People have it a lot tougher than us financially. I'm not complaining. I feel very grateful for all we have, even if we have to give things up. They're things. But now I have this knowledge. That even if my husband is home, he'll never make it a hearth. It's not what he was equipped to do. That's my job! And I'm totally psyched about that. It's like I've been given a steering wheel, and you know, I have a lot of heart. My leadership skills leave a lot to be desired.
Labels: Stormie, The Power of a Praying Wife
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22 Comments:
Kristin,
My husband lost his job in January. He will begin school next week. I told him (he's a non-believer) that God has a plan and purpose for his life and losing his job was part of that plan. Yes, the nice paycheck hurts, but I still work full-time in our home and he receives unemployment compensation.
He worked second shift for ten years, and then third for less than a year. He moved to first shift a week before he lost his job. I believe our boys have been very blessed the past six months because he is around now. Our oldest son graduates on Friday (sniff sniff) and leaves for college at the end of August. Hubby said our oldest son talks to him so much more now. I told him it's because he's home now and more available.
I'm sorry your husband lost his job because that can be stressful financially, but now your daughter will have more time with her daddy. :)
Lisa
I read that book right after we got married (I think it was a shower gift or something). There are GREAT prayers in there...I typed them all out and promised myself I'd pray them for my hubby and our family...and now I don't even know where they are...guess I need to look them up again!
I'm sorry B lost his job, but you have the best attitude about it. He's an engineer - he'll find something else. =)
Beautiful thoughts Kristin
Thanks for the reminder to get my act together.
The book just encouraged me. We can't help what happens some times, only how we react to them. I'm sure I'll get plenty of opportunities to screw it up. LOL
Great post, Kristin. I've been thinking so much about prayer and the power of it, even though it can seem like our words leave our lips and fall to the ground.
I love your heart on this!
Rachel
I wish you guys the best. I hate to hear when anyone loses their job. Here's to wishing for a fast bounce back!
Isn't it just like God to get that book in your hands just at the time you need it? I'm thankful you've had those words to get you through this hard place, K. Praying for you and others whose husbands have lost their jobs.
These are hard times, but what a beautiful reminder that we are the heart of the home!
I am so sorry about your husband's job. I will keep you all on my prayer list. I am so grateful that my husband and I still have ours, because a lot of places are laying off or closing down completely.
As for the book, I must admit I have tried reading it three or more times, but it just made me a bit angry and irritated. So, I it is on my bookshelf.
Beautiful post, Kristin.
This is one of my favorite books - I give sets (Husband and Wife) for wedding gifts every opportunity. They are powerful and life-changing.
Thank you for sharing. We're praying.
Leticia, honestly I started out that way with the book, and there are a few things that I think, yeah right. Like she says that as a wife you're entitled to financial coverage from your hubby, but then, she tells you what to do when he's a loser and won't get a job.
I had a hard time reconciling that aspect of it. It's his responsibility, but don't expect it. I also had issues with him not coming home for dinner (her hubby not mine) I would have told him to take a hike, he can respect dinner time, or eat it foiled up. But I am not making the guy a special dinner, that is just RUDE.
If you wouldn't let a stranger do it, why take that rudeness from your hubby? So I get it, but the prayers are good.
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. My husband lost his job in the fall and was offered a wayyy better job about 5 months later. Everyone kept saying that there was a reason he lost his job and things would work out for the good. But it was hard to hear during the process.
We kept our focus on God and He continually provided for us. And to tell you the truth, I think going through this together has brought us even closer than what we were. And closer to God.
Anyway, all that to say that good will come from this, and there is a reason for it because God's plan is not ours.
Hugs!
Thanks for the encouragement Abby. I do trust in God on this. I just don't want to panic.
Kristin:
Thank you so much for your thoughtful words. My husband and I married just a little over a year ago and I've realized during that year just how much I am the heart of our home. If I'm unforgiving or bitter, it affects him in ways that I never would have comprehended before I got married. Thank you for the reminder that it is okay to want to be the heart of the family, no matter what the world says I should focus on. My marriage is so much better when I remember that!
I'll be praying for your family as you go through this challenge.
Kristin,
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's job loss and will be praying for your family.
I think it's neat that you are an author and you are comforted and inspired by another author's words. You were led to that book at this particular time.
I know what you mean about things getting "chilly." Ambition and a drive toward productivity aren't wrong in themselves. If we start seeing caring for and nurturing other people as being roadblocks to our success, we can become cold.
I'm grateful for my husband's jobs and the work I do to supplement that.
Cathy
Thanks for the encouraging words Kristin! I, too, like many others received that book @ my bridal shower, in fact I think I even got 2 copies (how spiritual am I?!) lol i guess it would've helped if I actually read one copy instead of donating it to the church library. maybe it's time to borrow it back! Thanks for the words of wisdom, hope your husband finds a job soon!
Kristin, thank you for understanding. I guess I just had the impression that I didn't meet up to her standards of how a wife should behave. Maybe I will try again in a couple of years.
Great post and one I needed to hear! My hubby has been "home" for the last five years while I work outside the home full-time. He works part-time in the evenings and saturdays, so yeah, the kiddos see him, but I don't. Sometimes It DOES seem like I'm the "husband" of the relationship, but at the same point and time he doesn't at all fit into the "wife" roll of the relationship, leaving ME feeling like I'm doing BOTH. Can I just say bluntly, it sucks???
I've discovered though, that part of this is that I am a take charge, bull by the horns kinda gal. I try to be Super Wonder Woman and instead of praying for my HUSBAND to be able to take his role, I just see it not being done, step up, and do it.
I'm working on this. A lot. And slowly it's getting better. Still praying about a day that we can "right" our roles so I can stay home with kiddos (and WRITE) and he can go "bring home the bacon."
Krista, I don't think any man can do it like a woman can, and it does reflect on us. That's what is so hard. Even if he's a stay at home dad (which my DH was a few years' ago) some woman comes in and sees your house a mess, ain't nobody blaming the guy.
Oh yeah, prayer is essential, but it's not about squelching the truth, it's about focusing on being theheart of the home, and backing off where need be. It's so hard. I'll be praying for you. I fear this happening with more and more women having degrees than men. It really upsets the way of things, even though I know it's so necessary sometimes It teaches you a lot, right?
Beautiful post....
My husband retired early from his job in order to pastor full time. It was scary, as we are a small church and we didn't know if they would be able to sustain his salary, or even to help us with benefits like health insurance.
Last month, we were just $200 over what we took in! God has blessed our decision, and it does give us more time as a family, but it can be a bit scary at times.
Praise God for your reading experience, and let us all remember to be the heart of our homes.
Leticia - I totally get where you are coming from, although I've heard Stormie live and she is absolutely wonderful - not a trace of the judgmental (that helped my attitude :-)! Nevertheless, my solution was I got the little prayer card book and I try to use one every day. (No text from the book, just all the prayers on individual cards). As Kristin said - they really are good.
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