I think the most frustrating thing about parenting is seeing your children struggle in the same ways you've struggled. When you're pregnant with the boy genius, you think it's going to be different. Just like you dreamed of Prince Charming, you dreamed of the perfect, little children. But God says, now what fun would that be? I mean, would you play "Chutes and Ladders" if there was no risk? God must feel the same about life. If it's smooth sailing all the time, what's the point? If Judas wasn't poor and greedy, would things have been different? Like Judas came against Jesus, life comes up against you and just like in a video game, you have to learn to avoid the pitfalls. We think we can protect our children from all the bumps and bruises, but really, we can only prepare them, armor them up for the game.
One of my sons has Aspergers, and his report came through saying that his grades suffer due to his lack of organization. That he is a charming, amiable and respectful young man who does everything he's told, but he forgets to turn stuff in when it's due. And his backpack is a mess. And then, comes the killer...maybe Mom could help??
I am an excellent organizer, believe it or not. Why? Because I am terribly disorganized by nature. I can find anything you need in less than two minutes. Now, if I'm dead, I pity the poor soul who has to find it after me, but *I* know where everything is, because I have to use my own system. A system that I'm trying to pass on to the poor souls who inherited my madly-rushing brain. It's called, quit listening to the experts and do what works for you.
My system includes crazy file folders that all mean something to me. Animal print folders? It means taxes or money garbage that I hate to do. Because it's a jungle out there.
The Amalfi Coast Painting file folders? For my business because great art, nor Rome were built in a day. The kids are color-coded by their favorite colors. Let's say that you need to find the plumber's bill from six months' ago. That would be in the household file that does not include any of the regular household bills and it's green because it's money wasted (or money not spent on cute shoes or purses.) The recurring bills in the bill-paying folders, sorted by month and category (Utilities, Insurance, etc.)
Legal mumbo-jumbo? It's under the heading "Taxes" because it all makes no sense to me, so why not put that all in one place in the hopes that someone else will make sense of it? It's kind of my way of red-flagging something and saying, 'not my problem.'
If you think that's convoluted, you should see my phone book. "Oh they're under N because they were our neighbors back when we lived in Mt. View. Or that's under E because she's Elle's friend."
Do you navigate the world in a way that you would hate to explain to a professional? What traits did you pass on and ho you see your traits in your kids and feel guilty for passing it on? Work with me here. We'll file it under "Tips & Tricks" and give it a nice, pink, rosy folder to show our happiness and health when we work together.
Labels: ADD organizing, Aspergers, systems