Girls Write Out
Tuesday, April 18, 2006

FEMALE RITUALS
We writers notice the weirdest things. I attended a bridal shower this past Saturday for my soon-to-be-niece. There were some gals there I hadn't seen in years, but everyone was hugging and talking like we'd been visiting just last week. There was a spread of food that would have fed half the state.

I got to wondering where this ritual came from. Was it because women wanted to gather to watch the poor bride sit in the front and unwrap every gift while exclaiming over the third spatula she received just to see if she could still act excited? Or maybe it was the opportunity to play a game where you exercise brain cells you haven't used in thirty years. Or hey, what about this, maybe they want to offer the bride advice like change your socks every day and don't squeeze the toothpaste in the middle.

It originally evolved to help brides who were poor, but most brides aren't in that position. I think the ritual is still important today though. The bride needs to see if the two families will kill each other. She needs to gather the bounty of towels (I never bought towels after I got married for ten years!)She needs to eye the aging matriachs on her husband's side to see if they're going to "advise" her to death. There's still time to run after the shower! Though the shower for my own soon -to-be-daughter-in-law is coming and I'll hogtie her if she tries to escape.
We need to get together like this as women to reconnect and see who has gained the most weight since we saw them last.

But mostly, it's important that we show the new bride that we love and support her in this scary new venture. That it really is possible to stay married to the same man for fifty years, even if he passes a little gas now and then. And that the journey is always worth it if you have your girlfriends, moms and sisters around you. With them and chocolate, you can face anything.
Colleen Coble  
posted at 6:42 AM  
  Comments (9)
 
 
Delicious Delicious
9 Comments:
At 8:37 AM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

It't been a long time since I've been to a bridal shower, but I love the games. I hated opening gifts in front of everyone though.

 
At 12:07 PM, Blogger Rachel Hauck said...

Great post! Very true. Unlike Denise, I could do without the games, but I do love opening gifts.

I haven't bought towel or dish towels in fourteen years. Well, maybe one or two, but the ones I got at my shower are the ones I use after the shower. hahahaha.

There still are a lot of new brides, those who lived at home or just graduated college, who need household items like spatulas. (But not five of them.)

Mostly, I think they need good sound marriage advise.

Someone should start that as part of the bridal shower tradition. Notes of advice from married women. :)

 
At 12:31 PM, Blogger Julie Carobini said...

Good one, Colleen. I hope we never get so jaded in this world that we opt not to celebrate one of God's most awesome blessings.

Even if he does pass "a little" gas now and then :-)

 
At 12:57 PM, Blogger Sabrina L. Fox said...

Ha! Very fun, Colleen. Loved the "We need to get together like this as women to reconnect and see who has gained the most weight since we saw them last." LOL.

I, like Denise, love the games. Bring on the word scrambles!

 
At 3:43 PM, Blogger Kristin Billerbeck said...

I'm the party-pooper I guess. I love to be in a party, to watch, but I'm not great at participating. And I HATE opening gifts in front of people. I'm not big on the gifts period. But I can tell you at my own bridal shower I wore a chambray Shelli Segal dress and it was a size two! Yeah, that thing hasn't seen the light of day since that shower, but still, it's like Denise says sometimes the gifts you have should be appreciated. So I'm appreciating that I can remember it was a size two. LOL

 
At 10:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bridal Showers - I am only 22 and I've been to far too many already, with mine not yet on the horizon!!!
But I can appreciate the pleasure on my friend's faces as they realize the host of people waiting to support them.
Also wanted to note that I received Kristen's handbag today, and enjoyed both the excerpt from the upcoming book (I preordered it from CBD back in Feb., so I can't wait to receive it) - "I’m not asking to feed the 5,000, I just want one good fish!" love the line! and the diddy on Ashley -thank you!
AND...just read "Finding Faith" yesterday, thanks Denise for a great ending to the triology. Seeing the link between Linn and Paula, and the interaction of two women with varying messages of wisdom was a great read.

 
At 5:32 PM, Blogger Heather Ivester said...

My most horrible bridal shower experience was my lingerie shower -- opening tiny silky things in front of my MIL about caused me to hyperventilate. (She didn't think about me actually wearing them, did she?)

I think baby showers are much more fun than bridal. I like oohing and aahing over those tiny little outfits and booties. (Plus bridal showers make me insanely jealous! Why in the world did I think hunter green was the world's greatest color for my home? I still haven't recovered from the early 90s jewel tones.)

 
At 12:44 PM, Anonymous janna said...

I love the observations about "female rituals"! :) A couple of years ago I gave a bridal shower for my best friend and gave her a list of things to say after opening each gift! After all, one must look like one likes each and every gift, right?

 
At 5:20 PM, Blogger Robin Caroll said...

I love everything about weddings...well, uh, except bridesmaids dresses. UGH

 

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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

www.KristinBillerbeck.com

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

www.ColleenCoble.com

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

www.DeniseHunterBooks.com

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

www.DiannHunt.com

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

www.HannahAlexander.com

 
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