Girls Write Out
Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Does anyone like to be lectured to? I mean, did I get the gene that can't stand it, or is it just really as annoying as it seems? I called today to cancel my daughter's eye appointment. The RECEPTIONIST sees the need to tell me how important the eyes are -- as though my daughter is about to go blind because we're missing an appointment. Gee, the doctor wasn't all that worried when she made me wait two weeks for an appointment, was she now? But I sit through the receptionist's little spiel and let her feel good about her lecture.

Then, there's the dentist and their standard Charlie Brown barkings on flossing. Okay, unless you're volunteering to wrestle four Billerbeck kids, they're not going to floss. They have magical automatic toothbrushes and don't eat much sugar, isn't that enough? But apparently, it's not because I have to sit through the lecture on flossing each and every visit.

I have one child who is woefully disorganized. Love the boy, but his backpack looks like an alley in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco -- papers blowing all around. His teacher is the one who gave me the book on parenting and the lecture to go with it. He's a straight A student, but his backpack is still a disaster.

Here's the funny part about all these helpful souls. These people don't like to be lectured back, not a one of them! One of my personal issues is mercury, and the medical community's use of it. I will not let anyone put mercury in my children. So they were not allowed to get the MMR until they took the mercury (thermeriosol) out (they have), but trust me, the pediatricians will not hear you say anything about it, even though autism's rise has gone down in the four years they haven't used it -- no connection they say. They won't even listen to your concerns, which they consider crackpot. Well thanks, but I'll be the judge for my kids. I will only put composite fillings in their mouths (try telling that to your dentist, and see how popular you are!) They're angry and tell you about how safe it is, right after they hand you the thirteen page disclosure. I don't care if they agree with me, or make their opinions known to me, but in return they need to respect my rights to act for my children. So this is my lecture on lecturing, let's give it a rest, shall we? You're you. I'm me. Unless you're my mother (or Colleen), spare me the lectures.
Kristin Billerbeck  
posted at 6:48 PM  
  Comments (21)
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At 12:11 AM, Blogger Mom Nancy said...

I'm with you on the lecture thing. My daughter is 16 and her high school has this policy that students drop a letter grade in any class where they've missed 10 days in a semester. My daughter gets migraines and has missed a few days for colds. I think she's missed 8 in all of her classes and 9 in two early ones because she was sick when she woke up but felt better later and went in. After five days or so, for each absence she gets called into the guidance office and told, "You've missed six days (or whatever it is). You do know what happens after 10, right?" Every time, and let's not forget that she misses some class time for this little reminder. THEN, we get a letter from the school reminding US that she's missed those days, even though we've had to call the school to tell them she'll be out AND send a note the next day saying she was out and why.

On the other hand, my own gynecologist doesn't seem to be bothered by anything I tell her. I go to see her and say, "You know, I've been bleeding for three weeks. I know I have fibroids, but I'm a little concerned about the bleeding." She does a Pap smear, says, "Looks like you're done bleeding" and sends me on my way. The next month, when three weeks of bleeding rolls around, the nurse says, "what did the doctor say last time?" Um, nothing! "Oh, she said that's because your cycles are often like this." Um, no. #1, that visit was the FIRST time she's ever seen me and #2, NO they aren't.

I wouldn't have minded a little more information that time!

At 12:56 AM, Blogger Julie Carobini said...

Oh man. I hate cancelling an appt., just sure I'm going to get a lecture. I always tell myself that my worries are unfounded, but not according to this post! hahaha--love it!

At 6:10 AM, Anonymous Bethanie said...

lectures make me mad. i do not listen to them (especially when my father is reminding me of the same thing he has been telling me for years. YES DAD I GET IT NOW LEAVE ME ALONE TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE ALREADY!!!!)

but sometimes lectures can be good... like my friend who lectures me when i have let my church attendance and daily time with God slip. sometimes i DO need that kick up the pants (even when i don't want to hear it).

At 6:45 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

I know exactly what you mean! Makes me so mad. Especially the doctor stuff. I remember the first time I went to a dentist and mentioned the mercury in fillings. (Kristin told me about it and then I researched even more so I could talk intelligently.) Anyway, you would have thought I was some kind of crackpot.

Makes me want to get up and walk out when someone treats me like that! I know you can't really, but I want to. LOL

At 8:16 AM, Blogger Tammy said...

Lecturing is the very reason I don't watch Dr. Phil...he reminds me too much of my moms ex-husband that she was married to when I was a kid....lectures lectures and more lectures--All the time!! And also when I realized my son might have a vision problem I was lectured by the eye doc that my son had these problems for years and if I had seen too it sooner--blah blah blah!
Reading this blog makes me glad I'm now an empty!

At 8:54 AM, Blogger Winter said...

I hear you on the doctor lectures. I refused to have my daughter and youngest son get their immunizations until they were almost two years old. Oh, the lectures I got for not getting them on schedual. Actually, my youngest was supposed to have his last boosters, but I *conventantly* forgot to call and make the appointment this time.

At 9:25 AM, Blogger Kristy Dykes said...

Mercury in fillings: My dentist says I have to have all my old fillings removed and new ones put in because they're...well, old. (Some are from my childhood, so I know he's right.) He says they've shrunk and can cause decay, etc.

When I mentioned the mercury issue, he poopooed it.

So, should I insist he not use? I have a lot of fillings!


Oh, BTW, I love this blog. Read it nearly every day. Thanks for creating, Fab Four!

At 9:30 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

I wouldn't let a dentist put new mercury in my mouth! I'm getting ready to have all my old ones out and the other kind put in. The only reason I haven't done it so far is that you really need chelation therapy when they come out because it causes mercury to leach when they're removed. I was busy getting my allergies eliminated with NAET so I wanted to finish that first.

Here's a link to look at, Kristy:

Also just google mercury fillings danger.

At 10:04 AM, Blogger Chaos-Jamie said...

Oh, Kristin, you do need to move to Kansas! My doctor just nods when I tell him no shots. (He won't vaccinate his kids either.)

My hygenist tells me "no sense lecturing about flossing, no one does it anyway..."

My dentist just reminds me that porcelain fillings are more expensive and puts them in.

And yet, I cringe everytime I go into these conversations because I dread the lecture (I've heard about the bad ones!!) that never comes.

At 10:13 AM, Blogger Kristin Billerbeck said...

Kristy, getting new fillings is really expensive -- I think I paid about $20k total for mine (but that was in Silicon Valley). However, more important than getting new fillings, it's how you get the old ones out that can cause problems -- because it can leave mercury in your system. I tested for three times the normal rate of mercury, and had to have chelating done (it strips your body of the metals).

I'm just glad I learned about all this BEFORE my kids had any fillings, and they still don't have many for the four of them. What drives me nuts about the dentist lectures is they won't do the research on purpose, then say "there's no conclusive proof" Of course there isn't, who would do it?

And maybe I do need to move to Kansas. I would like that kind of treatment. Respect?? No way.

Winter, I always used the "she has a cold right now" thing when they tried to stab my daughter too early. Just a hint. LOL

At 5:28 PM, Blogger Kristy Dykes said...

Sorry to keep the thread of fillings going, but I need answers. Thanks so far.

Kristin, you said, However, more important than getting new fillings, it's how you get the old ones out that can cause problems.

So, how do you get them out safely? And what is chelation (sp?)?

I DID ask the dentist to use a rubber tent in my mouth. I never heard of that until last fall. An oral surgeon did a root canal on me and used one of those things. I gag easily, but he got it in, and it seemed to "catch" all that stuff drilling produces. So I asked my dentist about this for the filling work, and he said he'd use it, though he looked at me strangely.

At 7:43 PM, Blogger Kristin Billerbeck said...

Kristy, et al. You need to find a natural dentist, they will take them out correctly. Chelating is an IV that takes metals and toxins from your system. It's very hard to remove metals from your system, you can do it with garlic, and other herbs, but it's nothing next to chelating.

Do your own research, don't tell your dentist you're thinking of doing anything, you will get wrong information. Look up He's a natural physician who has a lot of articles on natural healthcare on his site. Also, check out the book put out by Thomas Nelson "The Great Physician's RX" by Jordan Rubin about how naturally taking care of your body is God's way. OH my goodness, I lectured!!! So sorry gang!!! But I'm only speaking from experience, yours might be different. Natural health has really cured me of multiple sclerosis symptoms, for the most part, so I'm pretty mouthy on the subject.

At 8:30 PM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

I hate lectures too! I'll never forget when I was in my early twenties, the receptionist at my doctor's lectured me every time I called. Finally, I called one time to cancel an appointment, and she started lecturing and I broke in and said very kindly, "I'm sorry, I didn't call for a lecture, I called to cancel an appointment." She never lectured me again. :-)

At 8:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow Kristen,

You hit on a subject close to my heart. I have two boys who had autism. After each got 5 shots of multiple vaccines, I lost my two beautiful boys. Through the GFCF diet and therapy the older one is completely recovered and the younger one very close to recovery.

I have refused to do boosters as they both still hold titers to the MMR. I have had way too many lectures about how I am taking a risk. I had one face off with an Army Col at our base hospital. I told him he needed to come walk a week in my shoes rather than lecture me.

I recently asked my dentist to remove all my silver fillings. I got the standard "they are absolutely safe speech". She was very upset that I was even considering removing them all and refused to do it. Needless to say I will be searching for a natural dentist in the near future.


At 9:29 PM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

Whoa, you go, Denise! I can't say that I've ever been lectured by my dentist's office, so this idea is new to me.

I've gotten plenty from various other sources, though.

Great topic, Kristin!

At 10:22 PM, Blogger Kristin Billerbeck said...

Julie, I'm so glad you stood firm!! What a blessing the therapy has helped! I have an Asperger's Son, and therapy and diet has helped him immensely! You know, the thing these doctors don't take into account is a mother knows. We have that sixth sense, and no study in the world will convince us to go against it. : )(

At 11:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My oldest son's handwriting is illegible--despite the best efforts both at home and school. A new teacher stopped me one morning and gave me "THE LECTURE". I asked my husband to write the teacher a note, didn't matter what it said, anything would do. I handed it to the teacher the next morning and she said, "What's this? I can't read it?" I told her I couldn't either, but it was a note from one-half of the gene pool that had produced the child whose handwriting she thought I should somehow improve. It was the only sweeeeeet ending I've ever had to a LECTURE. Beth S.

At 12:00 PM, Blogger Kristin Billerbeck said...

My husband and I often say instead of a gene pool, our kids got a cess pool, but you know, that's life, isn't it? LOL Handwriting is so hard for boys!

At 4:01 PM, Blogger Jaime said...

Handwriting? Bad? I just wrote a note to my employee who is a foreign exchange student from Poland and he looked at it like it was written in Japanese. I said "c'mon! it's not bad! I get compliments on my flowery script"
"I can't read it!" he argues
"You're from POLAND!" I reply
"SO?" he grins from ear to ear
"You speak Polish and it's written in English! You just need to brush up on your languages." I spout back
"I speak Polish, Spanish, Russian, Chinese, Ukranian, and English ... you?"
I said no more. I guess it's not just the male gender that has the corner on bad handwriting! :)

At 9:47 AM, Blogger Gina said...

I just jumped on the Mercury bandwagon. Okay, so now that most of my kids are probably FULL of mercury I'm getting ready to immunize. My oldest has ADHD tendencies and we're exploring all possible health factors for the cause. We've gone almost completely organic, but it doesn't seem to help. Could mercury be the culprit? Seems like they've taken mercury out of all the required shots. Watch out for those flu shots! They're loaded. And while we're on the mercury kick, did you know that they feed our chicken arsenic! So when I'm trying to be healthy at Mickey D's by getting a grilled chicken I'm actually eating arsenic. UGH! Does this qualify as a lecture or a rant? Okay, I'm finished!

At 12:25 PM, Blogger Kristin Billerbeck said...

Gina, rants good, lectures bad. LOL


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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

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