I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS
I forgot to tell you the other thing that happened at the pool party. I've been married 35 years next month. I'm not used to deflecting passes from other guys. Heck, I'm in my fifties! I'm no longer a size 8 either. LOL
Anyway, this couple came to the party. I knew they might have a problem when they brought their own booze. I noticed them making several forays into the kitchen to restock, but didn't think much about it. When I was helping clean up, they were the only ones left. My sweet daughter in law Donna told them I was a writer. She proudly brought out the Real Woman magazine to show my picture on the cover. The guy starts making noises about REAL Woman. The next thing I know, he sidles alongside me, PUTS HIS ARM AROUND MY WAIST and whispers. "You want romance, I'll show you romance."
Okay, are you like me? I'm totally got. I have no idea how to respond. Hit him? No, I don't want to embarrass my kids. I keet my head down and don't look at him for fear of inciting him more. I sidle away and give a nervous laugh. I laugh when I'm nervous, doggone it. HE FOLLOWS ME and does it again. Arm around my waist. "You're laughing but I'm serious," he says.
Now I'm getting majorly annoyed. I'm not sure whether to burst into tears or run to the bathroom. AND HIS WIFE IS RIGHT THERE IN THE ROOM! Are they swingers? What? Sheesh. I pull away, rather forcefully this time, and begin to scrub the stove with vigor. He gets the message. Whew. When it's all over, a million quips come to mind. Why couldn't I think of them at the time? Sheesh, I'm so lame. What would you have done?