Girls Write Out
Thursday, March 20, 2008

It’s finally time to reveal my deep dark secret: I’m a slouch. Don’t let the smallish exterior fool you. I am so out of shape.

The last time this hiney saw the inside of a gym was, well, I think it was 7th grade square dancing.

But a slowing metabolism has a way of shaking a girl up. The pounds are creeping up and I can’t give up my chocolate, you know. So, we bought a treadmill and it arrived today. The men who set it up seemed nice, but I saw the evil amusement glittering behind those eyes—I'm a perceptive writer after all.

I wasted no time in getting started—new toys being so much fun and all. I took advantage of the presets and picked a ready-made routine. With the push of a button I was off and running. Okay, walking.

It start out surprisingly well. 2.5 mph, incline at 0. Maybe I’m in better shape than I think. Then the incline increased automatically and the speed went up to 3.0 mph. Two minutes later, the speed increases to 3.5 mph and the incline? Up, up, up we go.

I’m getting winded and the auto heart rate is telling me my heart is beating too fast. As if I didn’t know that. I mean, I’m climbing Mt. Everest here. If I wanted to climb Mt. Everest would I live in Northern Indiana? The biggest hill around here is the speed bump in the Meijer parking lot and I got a little winded last time I went over that.

I’m really sweating now (did I mention I don’t like to sweat?) and I’m beginning to think this treadmill is possessed. If I run it backward will it whisper evil things?

Thirty minutes later I step off the thing but could swear the floor is still moving. Did I really think I could do this? Where’s that second wind? The exhilaration? All I got is sweat, noodle legs, and some serious second guessing about giving up that chocolate.
Denise Hunter  
posted at 9:32 AM  
  Comments (13)
 
 
Delicious Delicious
13 Comments:
At 10:49 PM, Blogger Gracie said...

I hear ya on the winded thing -- this year I started running and the first time I actually picked up a good pace I thought I'd die. I was begging for the rapture to happen then and there. But keep at it. You'll have to force yourself to move for a couple of weeks, but eventually you get used to it. Now I can tolerate running, and I love the runner's high. Of course, you shouldn't give up chocolate -- vitamins and endorphins and all. : )

P.S. Also, kudos for running thirty minutes! I can only do it for twenty (as of yet -- I'm still praying...)

P.P.S. Last month I read Surrender Bay. It was beautiful! I totally fell in love with Landon. Thanks for a good read!

 
At 11:47 PM, Blogger Kayla said...

LOL. Running. *snicker* I get a stitch in my side just thinking about it. I've made a lot of friends lately that are soccer players. I can't imagine how one does something like that.

 
At 8:21 AM, Blogger Diann Hunt said...

Watching a good movie is the key. I'd never get through my treadmill routine--what, you didn't think I exercised?--without watching a good movie.

Either that or grab a couple of truffles. Totally keeps your mind off what you're doing. *g*

 
At 8:30 AM, Blogger Cara Putman said...

We got a treadmill three years ago for Christmas. Eric and I agree it was the best investment we made. With young kids, it is too hard for me to get to a gym or even outside to exercise without them and a dog. So, I pop in a movie, read a book, or listen to my IPOD while running (when I'm not pregnant LOL). Last year we both did the mini-marathon. This year I wanted to, but Eric decided it was too close to my due date. Darn!

 
At 8:48 AM, Blogger Denise Hunter said...

Gracie, thanks for the compliment on Surrender Bay.

Yeah, Di, I've figured that out now. Yesterday I set my ironing board on the handles, put my laptop on it and editted Colleen's chaps while walking. The time passed quickly. :-)

 
At 8:53 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

LOL! Oh I so identify, D. I hate exercise too but I found one I actually like. Walking with weights in the cemetery behind my house. I've been mourning not being able to do it all winter. There were some days nice enough to do it in December and January but I had shingles. Now winter has had us firmly socked in for two months and I'm waiting for the break in the weather with no rain to get out there again.

 
At 1:41 PM, Blogger Suzanne said...

"If I run it backwards will it whisper evil things?"

Oh that made me laugh out loud! Soo funny!

I treadmill several days a week. I try to keep it at 3 MPH and a slight incline, I can still read that way. If I go any faster I can't read and that's when I use my *best gift ever* my iPod. Oh yeah, bring on the 80's tunes and let me sing at the top of my lungs!

It's a good thing I don't go to a gym.

 
At 1:46 PM, Blogger Jaime Wright said...

Colleen, you have a cemetary behind your house? LOL How appropriate that you're a murder mystery writer!

Denise, yes, yes, I totally relate. My husband hooked my mtn. bike to a little thingy that makes it so I can ride it inside. It works well when I have it on the "going-downhill" setting - practically coasting! But level 5 uphill is the killer. Women weren't made to sweat were they?!

 
At 3:21 PM, Blogger celestemc said...

An ironing board on the handles?? Oooohhhh, I'll have to try that!

Laughed all the way through this one... thanks Denise!

 
At 6:22 PM, Blogger Ausjenny said...

I bought one of those for mum but nothing fancy you couldn't reset it just see what speed you were doing and how far also for mum it was set the lowest it could be. but it winded me good. i used the walkman to listen to music.
but the fad past.
I know about winded i rode home we have hills all round and i was gasping for air. (and i had walked half the hill too)
They say it gets easier or canyou just do the easy incline

 
At 6:57 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

I hate exercise too, it has to be social so I don't notice it. I walk on Thursdays with a group of dogs and neighbors. The dogs are all huge and our leader hikes them for a living and doesn't have an ounce of fat.

We did about five HILL miles today and I felt great at the end. If you're talking, you don't notice the pain.

Seriously, her history in the Netherlands, she could have told me she was a monkey and I would have more believed her. THAT is the kind of exercise I need!

 
At 3:45 AM, Blogger Melanie's Words Work said...

Laughing burns calories, so you helped us exercise today! Does that mean it's OK I didn't go to the gym?

I'm short and fat, so 3 mph is my limit. Normally, I use the cross country setting, which changes inclines all the time but goes up to 12 percent.

One advantage of being fat? The machine asks for my weight, and it claims I burn more calories doing the same work as my skinny sister. It's like walking with weights, only all the time. Handy, hmm?

 
At 5:02 AM, Blogger Pam Sanderlin said...

LOL! You crack me up. What a hilarious post! My husband and daughter got a kick out of it too!

I'm not very fond of treadmills, thanks to the family in the apartment above us who have one set up in the bedroom right above ours. They like exercising late into the night. The slap, slap, slap of someone's feet on the treadmill keeps me awake (my husband sleeps through it) and makes me want to shout, "You're thin enough! Go to bed!" The only thing worse is when their son bounces his basketball around the house or while he is standing next to the treadmill. He'll bounce the ball above my head over and over again. The combination of treadmill and basketball is worse than Chinese water torture. Meanwhile,I lie in bed thinking murderous, unChristian thoughts. How I long for the day when they move out! Shesh! Apartment living is the pits some days!

 

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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

www.KristinBillerbeck.com

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

www.ColleenCoble.com

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

www.DeniseHunterBooks.com

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

www.DiannHunt.com

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

www.HannahAlexander.com

 
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