Since Colleen brought up the whole facial hair thing, let's talk about facials.
There are the expensive kind that I can only afford once a year. But then there are the home remedy types. Have you ever tried any that actually made your face feel better? Look better? Well, one out of two isn't bad.
I did an oatmeal facial once. Don't try it. I cleaned oats off the floor for a month.
Then there was the time a friend called me and talked me into letting her give me a facial. She told me another friend was coming, too. I figured why not? What could happen?
Now, if you know me at all, you know that I tend to laugh. A lot. Especially, when I'm not supposed to.
So Friend A who was giving the facial, instructed us to put this goop on, then she made us sit apart from each other, because she didn't trust me. Can you imagine? She said we couldn't laugh because it would crack our facials.
I tried. I really did. But while waiting the allotted time for the goop to harden, I got bored. My friend was in the same room. I figured I was an adult, and I could handle just a teensy little peek.
So while Friend A stepped into another room for something, I sneaked a glance at Friend B who was patiently waiting on her facial to harden. The thing was, I hadn't expected her to take a peek at me at the same time.
What followed was some major pain, for you see, the facial had hardened. Have you ever tried to laugh without moving your lips? It doesn't work. When I laughed, it was as though the San Andreas Fault started at my chin line and worked its way up to the edge of my left eyeball. Mortar-like flakes fell from my face and spilled onto the table. If I didn't know better, I'd say that goop was nothing more than Spackle from the local hardware store.
My friend looked as though she was wearing a Halloween mask. You know, the kind where the lips never move? Seeing her laugh, cracked me up. Literally. We heard Friend A's footsteps approaching and we turned back to our appropriate positions and immediately grew quiet. Of course, there was enough Spackle on the floor to drywall a room. She was on to us.
Still, two good things came from it: 1) My face felt silky soft after the facial (keep in mind that was thirty years ago), and 2) I used that experience as a scene in Hot Flashes & Cold Cream. Remember, writers never waste anything.
I need glowing skin for the conference, so, tell me, do you have any good homemade facial recipes--or how about some fun stories to share?
Since Colleen brought up the whole facial hair thing, let's talk about facials. 
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17 Comments:
That's funny Diann!
I don't know if you would want to use this - it has oatmeal in it - but I'll tell you about it anyway.
Dried goats milk blended with oatmeal works well as an every day facewash. It leaves your face feeling smooth and soft. Plus you know what's in the stuff. Unlike the questionable bottles at Wal-Mart. I think it smells good too. Although my friend thinks it smells horrible, so, you'll have to find out with your own nose.
This sometimes gets a little too hydrating for my skin and oil starts to build up. So when that happens I usually put on some organic plain yogurt and let it sit awhile, then scrub off.
Oh! And olive oil works really good on lips! I use it all the time. You can use it even before you put on lipstick.
A good book on organic, homemade facewash is called: Beauty tips? Secrets? from? Of? the Bible? Something like that. Sorry! I can't remember and my mom has the book!
Well, I should stop writing now. And this isn't Gracie, it's her friend. She's letting me use her Google account tonight. And she just wrote that sentence.
Brynhildur
No home made ones, but I did get a sample one time that my sister and I tried together.
It was green and gooey to begin with and then as it hardened our faces got a little warm.
Mum got the camera out and took a photo. It wasn't until the photo was taken that we looked in the mirror and cracked up laughing. The mask cracked off, just like in your experience, Diann.
My sister has made me promise that I will never, ever show that photo. The plan is to destroy the photo and the negative (it was taken on an old film camera).
I've also tried one of those peel off ones. They don't peel - they just get stuck on your face and are difficult to wash off.
Seems like I remember as a teen my mom putting egg white on my face to harden. Then wash off. That was a LONG time ago so my memory may be off. I can't even remember what it did. I'm a lot of help aren't I!
I'm afraid to mess with my face now. It's the only one I've got and my luck something funky would happen to it. I can just see me going to school red and blotchy. I'd scare the kids to death!
Hmm, Gracie, was it not bad enough that I had oatmeal on my face and now you're suggesting dried goats milk????? LOL! Seriously, that does sound interesting--especially if it hydrates. At my age, I'm all for hydrating!
Oh, Beth, if your mask cracked off, you understand that whole pain thing. I think you should hang on to the photo--keep it locked away for years. It will bring you a good laugh when you're young enough to still be able to see it, but too old to care! ;-)
Okay, Andrea, that statement "I'm afraid to mess with my face now--it's the only one I've got," is pretty sobering. I could almost imagine my face looking back at me in the mirror and saying, "Don't look at me, YOU did this."
Beth, if you ever get really mad at your sister (or just feel like having some fun), you could use the photo as a postcard and mail it to her.
Someone must be borrowing my account, too, because I would never suggest such a thing, would I? :-)
LOL Di!
WOuld you believe I haven't had a facial since I was a teenager? Don't answer that.
I LOVE the Neutrogena microdermabrasion doohicky. It's quick, easy and makes your skin so soft.
Good gravy, NO! Not this face! I'm allergic to so many things, it's scary to try new ones.
I learned that about 30 years ago. I tried a new facial product and ended up looking like the Rocky Mountains. The entire range. It was not a pretty sight.
That's hilarious, Rachel!
I'll check that out, Denise! It's got to be better than the whole oatmeal thing! :-)
I'm sorry, Ane. A mountain range on your face has got to be a bummer. ;-)
My skin has been rapidly declining ever since I rec'd for first novel contract. Stress, perhaps? I'm pretty cheap, but a couple of weeks before launching a new book, I spring for a mini glycolic peel. Makes me all glowy, Lol... Throw in a brow wax and some new makeup, and I can snow anybody, haha.
Fortunately for you Diann, you do not need this! :)
I tried honey once. It made my face very soft, but I got it in my hair. What a sticky, icky mess. I'm terrible with facials and stuff like that. I did the face-crack-up thing one time too, so I laughed out loud when I read your description.
Oh man, Julie, that sounds like a day in heaven! Wow! I love that idea!
Pam, I just could never do a facial made of honey. Next thing I know I'd be "toweling" it off with wheat toast, and well, you know what would happen next.
Diann this post made me giggle.
"Pam, I just could never do a facial made of honey. Next thing I know I'd be "toweling" it off with wheat toast, and well, you know what would happen next."
It made me think of the children's book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" or "If You Give a Pig a Pancake". You could try this out and do your own book called "If You Give Diann Honey For A Facial".
Sorry! Just couldn't resist! :)
Rachel, I love my sister too much to do that to her.
Hmm ... honey. I have heard of that being good.
Diann, instead of using wheat toast try a crumpet (although that may just be an Aussie thing) - it's a bit like a sponge!
Oooooo, a crumpet, Beth?! Even better!! Well, okay, I've never actually tasted a crumpet, but it sounds good--especially with honey! :-)
One more thing. Is it just me or is the font unusually small on these responses? I'm thinking something has either changed, or I need to start eating more carrots.
Just wondered.
Strawberries.
Whenever you slice up strawberries for a fruit salad -- or shortcake, whatever -- just take the cut off caps (waste) and rub them on your face. When you're all nice and juicy let it dry and then rinse off. Light weight, non-cracking, great for your skin, facial.
Another good skin treatment is a sugar scrub. Tablespoon table sugar, tablespoon olive oil and that's it. Although that one can get messy.
Olive oil is a really great moisturizer though. I use DHC's "deep cleansing oil" which is a formulated olive oil that removes makeup (even waterproof mascara) and then washes away cleanly (even in cold water). It's so good that half the time I don't even need a moisturizer after washing my face.
Great suggestions, Lochlanina! I was going to put strawberries in my yogurt this morning. Now I know what to do with the tops! :-)
Thanks!
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