This post may make absolutely no sense to you whatsoever, because it's based on a pet peeve of mine. Maybe because I was raised by a mother who never had any self esteem that I even notice such things:
I was in a public restroom the other day when a door came open and a pretty young woman came out and apologized to me.
"For what?" I asked.
"I took too long. You had to wait."
I frowned and shook my head as she washed her hands and left. I didn't get it. She has as much right to the facilities as I did. Neither of us owned that restroom. So why did she feel the need to apologize to me?
I was shopping recently and turned the corner around a stack of cute jeans at the same time another woman did.
"Oh, I'm so very sorry," she said as we both deftly avoided collision.
After a simple "Excuse me," I turned and watched her walk away, confused. Since when did, "I'm sorry," become a substitute word for, "Excuse me"? These two phrases don't mean the same thing at all.
When someone apologizes to me for being in the same place at the same time in a store, it's as if she believes she less right to exist than I do. Yes, maybe I'm splitting hairs, but still, it bothers me. Excusing oneself politely when discovering oneself on a collision course with another is simple human graciousness. Requesting forgiveness--"I'm so sorry"-- for existing on this earth speaks to me of deeper problems--of feeling unnecessary, of feeling worthless. I've noticed apologies such as these much more often as I've grown older. Maybe "I'm sorry" is the new "excuse me." Or maybe the writer in me is made curious by this special mark of women believing they have no right to be where they are. I can understand what she's feeling, because there are times I feel the same way--such as when we stay at a posh Branson timeshare. I was raised poor, and I keep expecting someone to come up to me when I'm walking through the grounds or swimming in the pool and telling me I don't belong there, even though I know I paid my timeshare dues.
Do you ever find yourself apologizing for your very existence? Stop it! You are a child of God, made in His image. You were created to live on this earth, to be here in this time in history. You are special, loved, and where God wants you to be--unless you're sinning right this moment, which is something we'll have to talk about later. ;-) Stop apologizing.