Picture at bottom! WAY below words. Not sure what happened, but it's been that kind of week. I decide to do one thing and end up doing the complete opposite. Like the stream meandering through the picture...if you can find it.
Today I drove to town to see my mother where she's living in an independent living facility, and ended up putting her apartment back in order--including placing fifteen frozen pizzas back in the freezer. I'd just I happened to mention yesterday that when she gets better and is finished with her physical therapy we will be moving her closer to us so I can help her with her daily living. She took that to mean she was moving TODAY, not next month. So she was packing. She had everything strewn out across the floor and on the counters, had taken her bedding off the bed and all her books off the shelves. Imagine her disappointment and my frustration when she learned differently. So when I talked to her counselor today, the counselor and I both cried. I never got a word written.
Do you find yourself meandering like this? Interrupting your life for someone who needs you? Do you feel frustrated? I know others do. After I finished getting Mom's furnishings and pizzas back in place, I stepped next door to give a couple of books to her neighbor, Ruth. Mom loves Ruth, who checks on Mom each night, who tries to get the ladies in their shared villa together for special time, who needs to be helping others. She's a longtime pastor's widow. She has leukemia. Today, she told me, with tears in her eyes, that she often wondered why God had her there. I told her because she was on a mission, and she was serving wonderfully. She is. God's special messenger.
But do you ever consider, while you're meandering through life, interrupted so often by others, that you, too, are doing exactly what God wants you to do? That your calling is to be available for those who need you, whether that be your children, your husband, your ailing parents or neighbors? I used to get so frustrated when I had a writing deadline and someone interrupted me in the middle of a scene. So God gave me a sabbatical. I'm on it. My job right now is to care for my mother--and maybe offer encouragement to those who help her and touch her life, from her counselor to her neighbor. I'm called, as well, to pray for so many of my friends who need prayer right now.
Someday, I'll probably have deadlines again. Someday. For now, I'll write what I can while I meander, doing another ministry to which God has called me. They will know us as Christians by the way we love one another.
How about you? Any meandering that might actually be your season of living with a different purpose? God's purpose?
Labels: live with purpose, Meandering life
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8 Comments:
that's is a verycool shot! :)
I too seem to be in a meandering time. Thanks for this post. It was an encouragement to be reminded I'm not alone in the struggle.
Cheryl, you're so right. Sometimes we get so focused on where we're going that we don't notice God is urging us to a different path.
Thank you for validating the decisions I have made, to be there for my children. May not be the corporate world but I have good kids.
I'm beginning my tenth year of The Long Meander with my mother. At this rate, I may never actually have a writing career from which to take a sabbatical. And yet, when I consider ignoring her needs in favor of my own wishes, I....can't. I wish I had energy to have a foot in each life, but Mom's concerns are so draining that I haven't succeeded at much else over this time period. Gotta say, elder care makes the years I spent raising kids look easy by comparison. (Your mileage may vary, of course!) Thanks, Cheryl, for the affirmation. I understand!!!
Whew! And here I thought no one received the actual words on the blog. Thanks, jel! Glad you like Mel's photo.
Pam, enjoy the ride. Watch for the surprises God sends your way.
Denise, I went to my therapist yesterday for grief counseling, and she told me that perhaps this time I'm going through this more for others than for my own self-growth. How many times have you experienced what you're writing about in your wip?
Amy, good kids will last so much longer than anything else. They are blessed.
Oh, Katy, you've walked a difficult road. I cannot imagine how that's been. I've heard from others who have done the same. My therapist said I had to take time for myself, to fill back up, so that I will be strong enough to bless my mother and others. It's okay to hide out, to take time out, to let God bless me. When my cup overflows, then it flows to others. Maybe it's trite, but I believe it.
Hannah,
What a beautiful post! I've been in that place so many times in my life,cancer (twice) with my son (now healed and grown), illness with both parents and constant care taking, and now, constant travel with my husband on business trips so we can see each other! God knows what he's doing when he places something in your lap. Looking back over a lifetime, I'm so glad I've been where I've been and glad that I WAS able to put things on hold, though it hurt a lot at the time.
Life is beautiful in a way that we can't always see. It's hard when God shows us a door we don't want to step through, but the rewards for others and for ourselves are so great when we can step through the door. Thank you for such a wonderful thought. It's made me feel so grateful today.
Katie, thank you for that encouraging post. It's far after the fact, I know, but somehow I can't figure out how to get the posts to come to my email. Your post was a blessing to me today.
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