FORE!!
I live on a golf course. So naturally, I bought some clubs, and had delusions of grandeur. Let me emphasize the word "delusions". This week, a willing friend and I played golf. On the course. With a real golf cart and everything! To say, we provided a lot of entertainment for the clubhouse would be putting it lightly.

Golf is one of those games with a secret code (like on my son's Playstation). The thing is, everyone seems to know the codes except for the new golfers, who clearly need to go to golf charm school or something. But they don't tell you the rules because it's so much more fun to have entertainment laughing at the newbies.

First of all, there's a dress code. (And Lilly Pulitzer does make golf wear, so if I get any good...) I call it brunch wear. You have to dress like you're going to a brunch -- with slacks, a collared shirt, golf shoes. I don't dress this nicely for church! I thought about wearing some great Marc Jacobs' denim slacks, but I thought better of it, maybe that won't do. It wouldn't have. No denim on the course. You have to seriously wonder about a sport where your appearance is such an issue. Especially when you can look so incredibly stupid regardless of what you're wearing. The dress code is just one way they try to keep those "not in the know" off the course. Here's a few of the others.

"We adhere to the three-quarters rule," the golf kid says in all severity.
"Right. Right." We both nod our heads, but when we get to the cart, we realize neither one of us has any idea what that means. Turns out, it's the way you park the cart while you're chasing this stupid ball down the fairway. (Oh and you can't go off the little road on a 3 par.)

So we think we're set. But there are little yellow poles, little white poles, and little red poles on the course. I did find out the red pole means you can't park the cart on that fairway. Some nice man came and yelled it to us.

One thing I learned is that if you are easily humiliated, you need to find another sport. When we drove up to the clubhouse, they were LAUGHING at us. I kid you not! Talk about rude. But you know what? I liked it. I liked being outside. I liked the hollow clunk sound of the ball FINALLY going into the hole, and that one day, I too might be worthy of Lilly Golf attire.

ONE MORE VERY IMPORTANT THING!
Happy birthday to my fabulous Grandpa. He is 90 today!!! This is the man who wanted to buy me a green dress in kindergarten, and was I thankful? I would have none of it. "The purple one!" I stamped my feet.

Later, as I matured, he would meet me at "Burger King" for a date during my high school years. I knew I was the luckiest girl there. Ah, perfection. Nothing like it, and found in the arms of a grandpa! (And his 95 year old sister made it to his party from San Francisco!!) I got some good genes, I hope my hubby likes me. : )