Girls Write Out
Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The hardest thing about being a mom is making plans for yourself -- because I guarantee if you're signed up to do something for yourself, the kids will be off school, somebody will fall off a scooter, someone will have forgotten their lunch or the worst of them all, someone will barf. Kids seem to have this inner sixth sense that you have something fun to do. This sets off an alarm in their head which forces them to make contact and intercept any form of Mom fun that might take place.

Now, if you're a working mom, add an important deadline. This increases the chance of vomit by at least fifty percent. The chance of a soccer tournament by 60%, followed immediately by a last minute birthday party no one told you about, that requires a trip to Target.

This is why my drug of choice is the pedicure. The pedicure is a mere 50 minutes from your day -- and you don't have to plan it. You can just show up at the nail salon, tell them you want a pedicure and the fun starts there. Without that preconceived appointment, the kids' alarms are silenced~ 50 minutes only. Chances are you're twenty minutes into it when the school calls. Surely, they can wait another 30 for you to show up and get the kid.

And if you think I'm heartless, here's the thing. There's a 90% chance your kid is faking anyway.

Happy Veteran's Day. Mine starts with a 7 a.m. soccer practice, a nine year-old house guest and four kids who will not want to do the same thing. YAY! Sometimes, there's too much freedom.

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Kristin  
posted at 1:38 AM  
  Comments (16)
 
 
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16 Comments:
At 8:24 AM, Blogger Jaime Wright said...

mmmmm... pedicure ... I've yet to take the leap (I'm so CHEAP). But it sounds heavenly. and I LOVE LOVE the red toenails :)

 
At 9:01 AM, Blogger Southern-fried Fiction said...

That premise works for husbands, too. Now that mine's retired, he decided we only need 1 car. "After all," he says, "I have my motorcycle. I don't need the car unless it's raining."

Now you know why it's been raining so much in Georgia. It's my fault. I made some plans. Sorry, everyone.

 
At 9:11 AM, Blogger Colleen Coble said...

I've had 3 pedicures in my life. They are fun but sooo expensive when I can do it myself for practically nothing!

Yours look cute!

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

$20 is expensive? Not in mom money to me anyway. LOL

 
At 9:53 AM, Blogger hotcoffeenow said...

ROFL.....I was talking about the same thing with a friend just a few minutes ago....I decided to go on a group bike ride today (my first group ride!) at 11 and when the kids got up one said she felt like she was going to barf, but I told her she was going to school anyway (no temp) and then announced to both kids that I was going on a bike ride at 11 and NOT to call me because I won't answer my cell phone. No getting sick, no getting injured. No calling just to tell me you're going to be a safety sub and panicking me b/c the caller ID shows the school calling. It's so true they know how to be a momfun buzzkill.

cheryl

 
At 10:28 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

Cheryl, that is HYSTERICAL, and it is so true. Did you ever think you'd say to your kids, don't call me, I won't answer? LOL

 
At 3:35 PM, Blogger Katy McKenna said...

For the past 8+ years, I've had the exact problem you describe here, only it's my MOTHER who knows I'm having fun. Only it doesn't even have to be fun!!! I've been called in the middle of an emergency ophthalmology appt (in which the doc just said she feared I had YET ANOTHER brain tumor....) to run over to my mother's because she KNOWS she's DYING right this SECOND. (Um...not dead yet.) I've been called in the middle of a gastroenterology appt (follow up to near death experience with ischemic colitis, a stroke of the colon...) and told to STOP EVERYTHING because my mother is being rushed to the ER with an uncontrollable nosebleed (or fill in 17 different broken bones, massive seizures, etc.) I once got called by my mother to GET OUT of the shower (where I committed to stay until the excess L'Oreal rinsed out of my hair, not a precise science...) because my grandmother had up and DIED.

I ask you, HOW could I fix that by abandoning the shower and leaving the dark auburn in longer than the prescribed 25 minutes?

These days, when I see mom's facility's phone number, I shudder before picking up. If I answer, I may never have the joy of transferring the laundry from the washer to the dryer.

Yeah. It's like that. :)

 
At 3:42 PM, Blogger Abby said...

LOL. you are so right! :) Pedicures are the BEST!

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger Beth MacKinney said...

I home school, so I'm at ground zero all day for the kids. But in the evenings when I get out with the other escaping moms, you'd think I was going to China and wouldn't be back for days! Sometimes I get calls before I'm out of the driveway!

I find myself wondering, what do they think dad is still in the house for, anyway? He's not only decorative, but useful too.

 
At 8:50 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Oh Katy, that is so painful, and of course you question yourself as a daughter, but that is constant, absolutely CONSTANT. No one can stand up to that. I am thankful for the kid interruptions, but wow, this was a long day. I had a very long nap and still feel like death warmed over.

 
At 8:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love, love, love Beth's comment about dad - "he's not only decorative, but useful too". That is a concept my boys cannot seem to grasp. They can be in the same room as their father and still seek me out on a different floor of the house to ask a simple question. What's up with that?

 
At 8:59 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Oh I know, I just laughed out loud at that. It's amazing how Dad can be standing right there, and they'll still bang on your closed door for you. LOL I guess it's nice to be needed, but you know, a little less needed maybe.

 
At 10:19 PM, Blogger Pepper said...

Oh I loved this and can SOOO relate.
I've never had a pedicure, but my grad students bought me a gift card for one 2 years ago... ouch, that tells more about my free time than I meant to say :-)

And faking it? Definitely. Out of my five, I have two who are brilliant at pushing the sympathy button.

I loved what you wrote about 50% chance of vomiting. HA! My hubby and I have a date tomorrow night, I wonder which of hte kids will get sick first ;-)

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger Katy McKenna said...

Kristin, Great minds must think alike, because there's another hilarious post on this subject over at Rachelle Gardner's blog today (Thursday). You'd get a kick out of it!!!

 
At 7:10 PM, Blogger Michelle V said...

Cute! And, add single working mom to that and whew! Total meltdown! lol

 
At 1:02 AM, Blogger Cheri said...

You must have experienced kids with the flu this week! I can remember one time my parents were visiting and we started dropping like flies with the stomach flu.

They decided they should leave early and head back home, and left me with 2 small children and both my husband and I sick. I don't blame them!!

Now, I have 2 granddaughters that live a long way away and I can ALMOST say I miss those days.

I, also, have never had a pedicure but after surgery on both feet, I just might have to try it. Your feet look great!

Cheri

 

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The Authors
Kristin Billerbeck
Kristin Billerbeck is a proud Californian, wife, mother of four, and connoisseur of the irrelevant. She writes Christian Chick Lit; where she finds need for most of the useless facts lulling about in her head.

www.KristinBillerbeck.com

Colleen Coble

Colleen Coble writes romantic suspense with a strong atmospheric element. A lovable animal of some kind--usually a dog--always populates her novels. She can be bribed with DeBrand mocha truffles.

www.ColleenCoble.com

Denise Hunter

Denise Hunter writes women's fiction and love stories with a strong emotional element. Her husband says he provides her with all her romantic material, but Denise insists a good imagination helps too.

www.DeniseHunterBooks.com

Diann Hunt

Diann Hunt writes romantic comedy and humorous women's fiction. She has been happily married forever, loves her family, chocolate, her friends, chocolate, her dog, and well, chocolate.

www.DiannHunt.com

Hannah Alexander

Cheryl Hodde writes romantic medical suspense under the pen name of Hannah Alexander, using all the input she can get from her husband, Mel, for the medical expertise. For fun she hikes and reads. Out of guilt, she rescues discarded cats. She and Mel are presently taking orders from four pampered strays.

www.HannahAlexander.com

 
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