I got the phone call last night on the way to the booksigning. Colleen and Diann and myself were to speak and sign books at a Barnes and Noble, and I am feeling pretty excited, if nothing else, to see my two buddies. We figure, even if no one shows up, we'll still have a great time, right?

So I answer my cell phone and it's Colleen. "Uh, D-- how far from home are you?" are her first words, and not encouraging ones I must say. I've done my share of signings with no glitches thus far, but I have heard the horror stories, and I have a sneaking suspicion I have just stepped into the pages of one. Still, I ask. "Why?"

"They forgot to order your books, and the store only has two copies on hand."

Now, mind you, I wasn't expecting to sign a hundred copies. I count it a blessing to break into double digits. But two copies? I'm barely going to be on time as it is, we're scheduled to speak right away, and someone might actually show up. Going back home isn't an option. I remember I have two copies in my van, so I guess I'll make do. After we hang up, I remember there is another bookstore on the other side of the mall. I make a quick stop, grab their last three copies, then rush toward B&N, wobbling all the way on my sexy new heels. I'm laughing at my pathetic self all the way. One must keep a sense of humor.

I'm thinking someone might actually show up to hear us speak because of a newspaper article that ran the weekend before. Well, not so much because of the article, but because of our photos. They are stacked on top of one another and are--ahem--candid shots. Each one is the size of a paperback book, and you know how they don't always line the ink up just right in the paper? You're getting the picture. Kevin calls them our "See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil" photos. I just call them embarrassing, and I figure we'll get a few people show up just to see the freak show. Diann got the only nice photo, so it was only fair that she was on the fold and only her teeth could be seen when you picked up the paper. (I've included a link to the photos at the end of this just so you can see I'm not exaggerating. Hey, the general public has already seen them, what more do we have to lose?)

As I enter B&N, I see we are set up at the entrance, and there are chairs set up--chairs filled with real live bodies. Sure they're all Diann's friends, but I'm not complaining. You can't appreciate the way I feel at the moment until you've promoted a speaking event and had one person show up. Really. Ask Colleen and Diann.

I take a seat and Colleen starts us out. More people come in and stand in the back and actually listen to us for an hour. The audience is gracious, and I can say something I've never said about a booksigning before. I sold out. So it was only 7 copies. Who's counting? Diann and Colleen sold a bunch of books, and we had a great time. They only thing missing was Kristin. Well, and my books.

Our Candid Photos: www.fortwayne.com/mld/newssentinel/13070908.htm