FRIENDSHIP
Isn't friendship a funny thing? Have you ever wondered how it is that lightning strikes and you just connect with certain people? I so clearly remember the first time I met the people who would become friends. Janet Brown, who helped me learn so much about God in my early Christian life (she and her family were the first on the scene after a terrible car accident), our former pastor's wife, Paula Parks, who has been a great friend through the years. My "girls" here on the blog. I remember meeting them for the very first time and somehow knowing we would be great friends.

It's not that we're similar. We Girls are very different yet we love one another fiercely. I just came off a big bus tour and they all helped me gear up for the challenge. Kristin found me the perfect purse (Kris, Kara is in awe of it and how perfect it is for me.) All three of them gave me some clothes advice and when I met up with them in Minneapolis before the tour, Denise and Diann checked out my outfits and encouraged me enough that I could face leaving the conference. I've been sending them pictures of my darling angel every day ad none of them are complaining. Now THAT'S friendship. LOL

Some connections happened at the tour too, and one of them was an Aussie, Monica McInernery, who won the Australian Book of the Year. Great gal! That connection just happens. It's inexplainable and magic. I wish one of you could explain how that mysterious thing happens. So I'd love to have you tell me how you met someone who became important to you and when you knew you'd be great friends. To start us off, I'll tell how I met Kristin, since she's been the longest friend. I'd "met" her online when another writer friend, Gail Sattler, gave me her email address when the doctor's thought I might have MS. We connected immediately online but we met in person at a conference at Glorietta. I remember my family being horrified that I was going to room with someone I didn't know. She might be an axe murderer! Um, no, but she was a user. A towel user that is. She loooves baths so that night she took a bath. and used all three towels. One to dry with, one to stand on, and one to wrap around her hair. She came from the bath saying, "We need to call down for more towels." I said, "Um, Kris, those are supposed to last us all weekend." LOL She was mortified and we have a great story to tell about her now. LOL

So 'fess up. What's your story?

PS The photo is Deb Raney and me taken last weekend at the Mall of America Booksigning

I think there's something to that whole "fish is brain food" thing.

Sort of like Clay Aiken being gay, I don't think it's any surprise that I'm ADD. Today, I had a meeting with my son's teachers, and I really feel for my son. He's doing college-level work in 7th grade with my brain -- except he's a genius at math. I'm...not. I mean, can I explain to his teachers, "Well, you know, his head doesn't really turn on until about 9 a.m." And not sound ridiculous? But it's true.

It's like having a "Monk" brain, we notice everything, but very little of it is helpful in life. And there's this running commentary, all the time. How are you supposed to think math when that commentary is going on???

Examples: I went to Lowe's yesterday. There's this strip club next door with a sign that says, "Open at 11 a.m." I'm thinking to myself, what kind of girl wants to show up at 11 a.m. and act sexy? Shouldn't there be some kind of moratorium or limit on what time strippers can work? What kind of person shows up at the strip club at 11 a.m.? And then I add a little shudder of disgust. Because...ewww!

Then, I drive by a new restaurant: Vaigai. Don't know what it is, but don't want to eat it.

This is why I love the Chinese, and living around them. After my trip to Lowe's, I had to the Chinese "mall" near my house. I guess because space is an issue in China, they don't mind confused things being meshed together, and this works for my brain. I will remember everything in that mall, and put it down for future reference. Here's what it is, an old grocery store with little stalls inside that include: An optometrist, a granite countertop guy, a Chinese bakery, a Vietnamese bubble tea place, a Chinese restaurant, a noodle house, a music store, a day program for disabled adults, a jewelry store, a place to get fake purses. But you'd never know any of this if you weren't curious or spoke Mandarin, because everything outside is in Chinese. That's the thing, I can tell Japanese writing from Chinese from Korean -- another gift that does me absolutely no good unless I want Pho/sushi or BBQ -- it gives me an inkling what I'm going to eat.

But if I explained any of this to Jonah's teachers, would I get more than that blank stare of oooo-kay, and this concerns us why? Did I mention the meeting was at 7:40 a.m.? For Jonah and me, who don't officially wake up until 9:30 a.m.? Ah, ADD. As Monk would say, it's a blessing and a curse. Today, I don't really see the blessings of it. But maybe that's because I got up so early.

But with a crew like the above, I think it helps to multi-task. Though some days I think I could use a good dose of my mother's order.

ONE MORE?
I'll try to stop. Really I will. But I had to post this one last picture. She is the most beautiful baby. Our son Dave said, "I thought you said I was the most beautiful baby ever." I said, "You've just been shoved out by your daughter." LOL

Take a look at that hair now that the goop has been washed off!

A NEW ERA BEGINS
I'm a grandma! Finally and at long last. One of my friends, Carol Cox, mentioned that as long as she's known me, over 10 years, I've longed for a grandchild. I'd like to introduce you all to Alexa Grace. Born about 6:10 pm yesterday and weighing in at 7 lb 14 oz and 20 inches long, she's already got us wrapped around her little finger. And those fingers are LONG. So are her feet. I bet she wears a size 1 already. She's all filled out and smells delicious! She hasn't had her bath yet in these pics so has goop in her eyes and her hair is matted with vernix. I dug out our son's newborn picture and she looks quite a lot like him. The nose is different but her eyes, cheeks, chin and mouth look very much like him. Hairline too. But she's her own person and I'm eager to get to know her!

Donna had an easy time of it and Alexa came so fast, she was a little shocky and the nurses aspirated her fast and got her moving. When I saw Dave crooning "Baby Girl" to his new daughter in his arms, it was a moment I'll never forget. She already has us all wrapped around her finger. Donna looked beautiful and so happy. Alexa was making noises but the minute her daddy took her, she quieted down and went to sleep. So darling to watch!

I had another blog post all prepared about my big weekend on the tour bus but I couldn't wait to share the good news with my blogging buddies!

Star Wreck

I don't know if I've ever verbalized my complete and total hatred of "Star Trek" -- the original with Spock and Kirk, but may I just take this time to say I think Shatner's best work is for Priceline. I abhor this show. Everyday after school, my dad would come home, commandeer the television and turn "Star Trek" on -- and I would retreat to my room, convinced my dad had lost a marble or two.

So like an idiot, okay, maybe my motive was to show him how stupid they really were, but I bought my husband the original collection on DVD. Enter my worst nightmare!!! He's got my boys into it and they sit here every night reliving my ugly childhood afterschool experiences. The sights! The sounds!!

Here's what I really hate about the show, now that I'm an adult and can verbalize. I know you're thinking "hate" is such a strong word for a TV show, but I feel it ever time it starts -- that ugly roiling anger that the men in my life aren't above this drivel.

First of all, I think Roddy thought he could bring about world peace and took himself way too seriously for a TV creator. But second, here's why the guys all became engineer nerds on the AV team -- because they were taught that you could be an utter dork in pants that ride way too high, and way too tight, and women would fall at your feet. All you had to do was be -- Kirk -- or Bond -- and you'd be beating them off with a stick!

I swear this is where my roots of feminism were born. With satisfaction I heard Elle ask, "Why is that girl after him, Mom?"

My point exactly. Is it fair to tell my fourteen year old that this is not the road to reality? That he could be that guy on the Segway who practically ran me down on the sidewalk last night outside Amici's? A Weird Al video brought to life? Is that what I want for his future? I paid for private school all those years for this? (In case any of you are feeling for my son, he is me in male form. Nothing anyone says will change his mind when it's made up.)

I brought my own worst fears to life. There has to be a novel in that!

The above picture is Victoria Beckham at her son's soccer game in full designer dress and Balenciaga bag. The Diva in me wants to say, "You go girl, not caring what others think!" but the mother in me shouts back, "Get a pair of jeans and sit on the grass and make it about your son!" She must be so lonely. Who could get close to her there? How will her boys play with other kids? Too sad to me, but she looks cute. Ridiculous but cute.

EXCITING WEEK
I'm about to embark on a weekend of being tremendously pampered, at least that's what I hear from people who have gone on this excursion before. I've been invited on the big Meijer author tour, sponsored by Levy. There are over 20 authors going on a big luxury bus to 8 stores in 5 cities in Michigan. But I have to admit to being a teensy bit torn. Okay, more than a teensy bit. I'm missing the ACFW conference, the highlight of my year! And I'm CEO so that's a big deal for me to miss. But even more than the conference, my granddaughter is due two weeks today and it's possible I'll have to be ready to make a flying trip back home. Luckily, I'm never more than 3 hours by car where we're going in Michigan. But can you say nail biting time?

But back to the subject. Many of these other authors are NY Times bestsellers so to say I'm a little intimidated is putting it mildly. I've been freaking out over what to wear and what readers will expect when they come see me at Meijers. But my friends to the rescue! I asked Kristin's opinion about what purse to buy because we all know the purse makes the woman. She went out shopping and walked into a Brighton store where she found the most perfect purse ever! She overnighted it to me, and I barely let it out of my sight! So it's the anchor of my wardrobe as I've been buying stuff. And the really cool thing? I've dropped a pant size! Now that might not seem like much to you, but my hips are the LAST place I lose usually. So this leptin resistance thing is really work. My aunt and mother mentioned last week that I'd lost a lot of weight. In reality it's only 15 pounds so far, but it LOOKS like more which makes me happy. Anyway, I got a shiny leather jacket (red), a black leather jacket, some cute tops for under to wear with some of my other favorite jackets. I'll blog this weekend about how it's going.

This is the first time I've ever built a wardrobe around a purse, but you know what? I think it works! Now I understand K's obsession with bags. She just might have passed it along to me, just like she did with coffee so many years ago! I'd thank you, K, but now I have to find the perfect pair of shoes. . . You've just created a monster. A very expensive one! But now it's shoe time. I've got some trouser jeans and some slacks. Here are my jackets: royal blue, black leather, red leather, tan. I've got various tops to wear over them. What would be your nomination for the perfect shoe? Here is my bag:http://www.brightonretail.com/store/wishlist.php?m=product_detail&p=H3078P. it's a silver metallic color, a dark gray/bronzy kind of color. Very slick! But give me some advice!

If you live in Michigan, check out the schedule and come see me!

Friday, September 19
10:30am Kalamazoo/5800 Gull Rd.
3:00pm Grand Rapids/Cascade
5:00pm Grand Rapids/Knapp's Corner

Saturday, September 20
10:30am Lansing/2055 W. Grand River Rd.
3:00pm Ann Arbor/5645 Jackson Rd.
5:00pm Canton/45001 Ford Rd.

Sunday, September 21
10:30am Rochester Hills/3175 Rochester Rd.
12:00pm Royal Oak/5150 Coolidge Hwy
4:00pm Monroe/1700 Telegraph Rd.

You won't believe this. I'm teaching myself how to crochet. Me. Reading directions. Teaching myself. I am woman, hear me roar and all that.

Get ready for a right-wing rant! Do you know why you do not want the government in charge of ANYTHING??? Because they run the post office and the DMV. Nuff said? You want to hand over healthcare to these people?

I sent something overnight to Colleen. It was $12 to send it priority. $33 for overnight. I called to get a refund when it didn't arrive, but the US postal service, says I can high tail it DOWN to the post office, fill out a form and ask for my refund. Though right in front of them, they have the information that it was supposed to be there one day and didn't deliver to the next.


THAT people is the result of socialism vs. capitalism. You try that same thing at Fed Ex and they're out of business, but not the USPS, no you have no choice there. You will take their crap and you will like it. Here's the thing about left-wingers. They say it's about choice. People, the only way to get a choice is to take it out of the government's hands and take control of your lives!!!

Really. Take the Eagle off your logo, USPS and insert the buzzard. Capiche?

What's your soul purpose?

I've been reading this financial book called, "Killing Sacred Cows". It turns out I've been doing it right financially all along. In the book, he says, "Don't say I can't afford it. Ask how can I afford it?" And money has no intrinsic value. Only people have intrinsic value.

Okay, I totally do that! Totally have believed that all along! I consciously made the choice at thirteen working at Round Table Pizza that the Calvin Klein jeans were not the best use of money, but the Jordache were cute without breaking the bank. If I can't SEE the difference in quality, I will never pay for it. My jeans are now Joe's and quite a bit more than those original Calvin Kleins were, but you know, my bum ain't what it was then, either. So that has to be accounted for in the equation. But unlike everyone around me, I will never drive a Mercedes over a Toyota, because I truly don't see the difference. And I love cars!

What's my soul purpose? I'm still working it out, but I know it involves having the brain of a radio scanner and putting the pieces together somehow. I am not afraid to fail. I want to try and if I have to go home with my tail between my legs, whatever. I tried. As the great master once said, "Do or do not. There is no try." (Yoda) But I have this huge need to set things right in the world when I see someone in pain.

I want others to live without fear! True story: I was backing up the other day in the school parking lot and this woman in a Mercedes comes up behind me so I can't continue backing up. Now, this is stupid for two reasons. One, it's me and I think you have issues for driving a Mercedes anyway, so don't try me woman! But two, I cannot imagine why someone would do such a thing. What is so miserable in her life that she doesn't have time to just be decent. It's not like she's never going to see me again (and incidentally, she gave me a dirty look when I opened the door for her son on parking lot duty -- oh this woman needs my help.) It wasn't just that she didn't let me go first, but she actually sped up while I backed out? Do you know anyone like this? They're everywhere and they are life-sucking vampires.

God made me a tough cookie and I know one of my soul purposes is to fight for the weak. I do that in writing, but I don't necessarily think writing is my soul purpose. Everyday in the Silicon Valley, I meet someone who thinks they are entitled to treat others poorly. And by the way, I don't care what country you're from -- here you open a door for a woman. Are we clear? Every day is an opportunity to meet someone and have an impact. Growing up with a retarded brother, I know full well appearance means squat. I saw Stanford-educated, well-dressed business men treat him like vermin, while I saw leather-clad bikers treat him with dignity and respect. So if I had to focus my soul purpose, it would be to try and show people a mirror, so they can get in touch with who they really are. As Jesus asked, "Do you want to be healed?"

How many of us really do when the answer is painful?

Who are you, really? If God looked into your soul right now, what would he see? What did He create you to do? Anyone know their soul purpose so they can put it into words?

PHONE ENVY
My weakness is gadgets. LOVE my MacBook. Love, love, love it. And getting a little iPod shuffle showed me again how Apple products are so cool. I have this lame little flip phone. Nothing fancy. Doesn't even take a picture. My cell phone contract is up and I find myself lusting after all the cool phones I'm seeing. My pick would be the iPhone but that's out because I can't get AT&T here. Sigh. If I were sure a phone on eBay that says it's unlocked would work, I'd buy it, but my county has to have a phone that gets analog AND digital.

I love the touchscreen thing about the iPhone. And get this--my daughter taught me how to text two weeks ago! LOL For a gadget girl, it took me long enough to figure it out. But I still don't get why it's popular. SO much faster to email or just dial a number. Sending pix via text is nice, but not talking on it. I doubt texting will ever be important to me. My email addition is bad enough without adding something else!

So what else is cool? Tell me about your phone and why you love it. Or one that you've seen that you think would be awesome.

BIRTHDAY GIRL!!
Today is one of our birthdays!!! Can't you guess who it is?

1. She has a new puppie.
2. She's the one who first introduced me to espresso.
3. Her signature color is neon green.
4. She was a David Crowder Band fan long before the rest of the country heard anything about them.
5. She has exquisite taste in purses.

That last gave it away for sure! Happy Birthday, Kristin!!!

Seriously, what is up with the yellow journalism? When I was in journalism, we were taught to print the facts. Lately, the news seems to be like one big smear job on Palin -- but remember when it was poor Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter? And you know, if they went after the other side for the same things, that would be one thing. But I am so very tired of people calling Republicans Nazis or Hitler. While these same journalists cover up how Obama got his mansion, what his church preaches, etc. At least go after HIM, not his pregnant 17 year old daughter, not Cheney's lesbian daughter. I'll bet Cheney loves his daughter unconditionally, that doesn't mean they agree on everything. But his daughter was running for nothing, so like Palin's daughter, the journalists should find the real stories about the candidates. What happened to truth? Why does journalism all sound like the National Enquirer lately? You want to talk truth? Why is Brad Pitt lauded as a greenie when he uses more jet fuel and leaves a bigger carbon footprint than probably all of you reading this blog and me put together. But see, we only see what the journalists want us to see. What supports their viewpoint. And that is yellow journalism.

Do you want to know why newspapers are dying as a medium? It's not just because of the ease of the Internet, it's because we don't want your opinion crammed down our throats. We're actually smart enough to decide for ourselves.

Have you noticed there's no disagreeing anymore? We're all supposed to have the same opinion (theirs) or we're lauded as Nazis and/or ignorant. You're entitled to your opinion, but I'm entitled to mine, and just because I disagree with you, that does not make me Hitler. What is up with the floating of that name? My own father called me Neville Chamberlain this weekend. LOL (But I called him a communist and told him to try China.) Seriously though, I love my father -- even though I disagree with practically everything he thinks politically.

I don't think he's ignorant. I understand why he thinks the government can fix things. He's from two very successful generations of union plumbers/carpenters. The union was good to him and his loyalty lies there. He wants everyone to have the same opportunities. I, on the other hand, have an $18,000 annual house tax bill and a house that's falling apart, and no money left to fix it. The idea of handing over more money to the government makes me want to hurl.

The only reason people get angry and hateful when people disagree with them is because they want to control people's thoughts. They don't give them the proper respect they deserve, as a person with their own mind. It's McCarthyism all over again, only now you're out of Hollywood if you're a Republican or driving a Hummer. But if you want to take your private jet to Cannes and the Sundance festival, we'll give you a free pass for that -- and a bag full of WAG too!

So if you're a liberal and you're reading this. I respect you. I think you're wrong, but I still respect your right to your belief system. I just can't respect the unequal treatment given to Sarah Palin vs. Obama. If you don't believe me, check out these recent "Us" covers.

http://michellemalkin.com/2008/09/02/pds-alert-us-magazines-partisan-hit-job/

NAKED TRUTH
I've been in Arizona again helping our Baby Girl get her new See Spot Clean facility ready. When we found out what she was doing, we were quick to offer help. And we were glad to spend the time with her. But the week of intense physical labor taught me much:

1. The floor is much further away at 56 than it was ten years ago. How did that happen? I spent much of the week on my hands and knees laying and grouting tile. Rather than get up and walk somewhere, I scooted. That extra effort to get up just wasn't worth it.

2. Dark brown grout can stain your nails irreparably. Even now, I can't seem to get the stain out around my nails. I've tried bleach and a toothbrush even. If I weren't so embarrassed by them, I'd get a manicure, but I can see the tech slipping out the back door the minute she sees my hands. Any tips?

3. Coffee fixes any pain. Kara and I stumbled through the door every night moaning, "Coffee," and it was much more fun to sip a cuppa together. If Mark was home, he always had it ready too.

4. Yes, you really can be too tired to sleep. Some nights we were all too tired even to sleep. Um, make that MOST nights. All four of us desperately needing sleep and aching too much to fall into the sweet arms of slumber.

5. My husband is superman. The things he got done. . . But even superman is getting older. When did it happen? We don't FEEL any older, but we sure learned we are. LOL

Our daughter is 33 now. Just yesterday I was 33. Watching her nimbly kneel and work, I was struck by how fluid time really is. It's run through my fingers before I realized it was seeping away. In a blink of an eye I'll be another 20 years older. It made me want to treasure every minute and savor every experience with the kids, our parents, our coming granddaughter. I want my legacy to be one of love and that my kids and grandkids will know how much I loved them.

Now about these fingernails. . . Someone help!