After receiving a Kindle for Mother's Day, I promised I'd tell our GWO friends what I think. I've now read two novels on the e-book and I'm happy to report that I LOVE the device. The pros far outweigh the cons, but see for yourself:

I'm about to tell you something I've never admitted to anyone ever before in my life. Ready? Lean in so I can whisper. Take the pinkie swear that you will never repeat this. Deep breath here.

I'm obsessed with reality shows where people change their lives. So I love "Biggest Loser", "Clean House", "Intervention" and the newest one, "Obsessed", which is about OCD. It is so great for characterization, because the stories behind how people get fat, hoard, do drugs or become obsessed is totally fascinating. People's pain and not dealing with it, leads to some weird behavior. Which makes for great characters: Monk anyone?

So after watching "Obsessed", I think I'm a little OCD. Which ticks me off, because why can't I have the kind that keeps a perfect house and organizes her kids into greatness? NO. I have to have the kind that sends me to the shopping mall, and buys pretty, sparkly things with no actual use. The kind that gets overwhelmed easily, and turns me into a useless blob, who watches too much reality television. My grandmother expected perfection, and I have some real issues with perfectionism, but you know, watching these shows, I think, well, hey, at least I've got it under control.

Oh my gosh, I'm like one of those people who reads WebMD and thinks they have every disease known to man. I need to start dwelling with normality. It doesn't help that I live in California -- where I am NORMAL. Doesn't that scare you? It should because we're moving East at an alarming rate.

So what should I be watching to bring me closer to the "normal" scale?

Labels: "Obsessed", Biggest Loser, Monk, OCD, reality television

MOTORCYCLE INSANITIES
I like motorcycles. Really I do. Even though my first experience with one ended up in me knocked unconscious after hitting a fence. So what I'm about to say takes into count the fact that my son, son-in-law, two brothers, a sister-in-law and uncle all own Harley Davidsons. Well one brother owns a Harley. I think Rick and Mary have Hondas. They're very cool as they go parading by. My Dave has even mentioned he might like to have a tricycle type Harley with a side car for me.

But can someone explain to me why they escape the laws the rest of us have to abide by? I live in a small town on one of the main streets. Motorcycles rumble down this street all the time. LOUD enough to shake the windows and drown out the TV at the most crucial part. It's enough to make me stand by the side of the road with a 2 x 4. A car with loud pipes would get cited by the police for noise violation but not the motorcyclists. And we keep getting more and more rules about buckling up in the car yet a cyclist doesn't even have to wear a HELMET! What's up with that? Is there any rational explanation for why the laws are so lenient with the bikes? I don't get it at all.

You realize I'll likely get flack about this post from my family, right? LOL Anyone else annoyed by this inequitable state of affairs?

Labels: Harley Davidson, motorcycle, noise ordinance

I've heard it said, the only difference between you now and you five years from now are the books you read and the people you meet.

I'm watching the news and I'm absolutely appalled! A 13-year old boy who has Hodgkins Lymphoma is being told he must have chemo. He quit after one chemo session. His mother has fled with the boy and they are now on the run.

I can't tell you how much this bothers me. This is not a five-year old. This is a teenager, and what rights do we have as patients if doctors can force us to undergo this barbaric treatment? I mean, don't we have choices in life? What if he'd never been diagnosed?

I mean, I get when we go after parents for not getting their children life-saving surgery, but chemo is not a sure-fire cure and you have to submit to the treatment. How do you force someone into that? And why should this child spend his energy fighting the courts instead of his cancer?

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/05/20/minnesota.forced.chemo/index.html

What's your opinion?

Labels: Cancer, chemo, Minnesota

Well, it was Glambert vs. Kris in a contest that brought us a snoozer of a finale on "American Idol". Personally, I didn't care enough to spend the time watching it, but I did run through the highlights. Okay, I love "Mad World" by Adam. I think he should release that song.

Kara annoys me to no end, but her music, even more so. Please. Don't make either winner sing that song. How is that winning exactly? That song was dreck.

I think Adam can really sing, and visually, he puts on quite a show, but I think the judges overrate him. When he tones it down and controls it (such as in "Mad World") he translates to listening to, but there are a lot of times, he just screams, and I'm beat by the end of the song. I doubt I'd make it through a song if he were on the radio doing that. I think the judges are too star-struck by him. He has the talent to do what he wants, does he have the restraint?

I love Kris, but I don't see him as being much different from David Cook or others on the path before him. Other than he's more musically talented, and can probably write his own stuff and maybe take a Daughtry road. What did you all think? Did you care this year?

Labels: Adam, American Idol, Glambert, Kris Allen, Mad World

BEING A WOMAN
Guys have all the luck. They can wear their hair short, run a comb through it in the morning and they're done. You ever notice that? Here's what I hate the most about being a woman: the dreaded hair drill. The perfect cut, figuring out the right products, the tyranny of doing my hair, day in and day out. I've tried wash and wear hair as you can see in the picture. I look better with it straighter so I have gone back to my normal style with a little curl. If I were as skinny as my daughter, it might be an option, but round curls make round cheeks look fatter. LOL Luckily I don't have to color it yet. But do you ever get tired of the hair drill? Even the makeup doesn't bug me as much as the hair.

So what's the thing YOU hate about being a woman? Or do you relish every moment spent in front of the mirror? The girls and I are doing the Beth Moore study on Esther. Even back then, they had beauty regimes. So much for the good old days!

Remember prom? Shopping for weeks for just the right dress, browsing magazines for the perfect upsweep, planning your makeup, jewelry, undergarments, nail polish and of course . . . the shoes.

Labels: Prom

If you live in the Indianapolis area, Colleen and I are doing a book signing tomorrow, May 16 from 11:00-1:00 at the Life Way Christian Bookstore (Castleton Crossing). We'd love to see you! 

Perspectives. Ever notice how you can look at something and see it in a totally different light than someone else? Not just the cup half full or empty thing, but just grasping something from a different perspective.

My Kids are Too Soft

This is eerie. I'm reading Chelsea Handler's "Are you there Vodka? It's Me Chelsea". Not for the faint of heart, but I could not resist the Judy Blume-inspired title. What's so weird is having just written my teen lit, "Perfectly Dateless", I am shocked at how similar Chelsea's story is to my character's! Except with a lot more swearing. I did just start it, so I'm sure it won't end the same.

Sunday, we ate on our back porch. We have kind of an outdoor room out there, with a retractable cover. My son Jonah is learning to BBQ, so he wanted to make it a big deal and have Mother's Day outside. Elle sets up the table (oh my kids are way motivated when it's something they want, much less so if it's something their father or I want -- I know, welcome to parenthood.)

Anyway, my son Trey comes out and looks at the chair and decides it's "dirty", and that there are bugs, so he's going back inside. Um, HELLO?? You're a 14 year old boy and this ain't the Ritz, get out here.

After reading Chelsea's book about her bad clothes and her father's embarrassing car, I got to thinking, these kids are so spoiled! They have Quiksilver shirts and Hurley pants. When I was in school, I worked at 13 to afford Dittos and Jordache jeans because if not, I was going in Grandma's homemade polyester miniskirts. With knobby colt legs and clodhopper shoes that "would last". Confession: When I saw "Confessions of a Shopoholic" and our heroine getting the brown shoes next to all the sparkly ones? I cried. And to make matters worse, my mother laughed out loud and goes, "Oh Kris, that was you!"

How is that funny? Bad shoes are never funny, people.

As Trey slipped into his "DC" shoes today, I decided there are going to be some changes around the Billerbeck household. Except Trey couldn't care less if he had DC shoes, that's a mommy thing. My kids wear mismatching clothes just to annoy me. So their toughness test is going to have to come in the form of Legos and video game time. At their age, I took the bus with my girlfriend about 20 miles to get to the mall and spend my paycheck. These kids get picked up from school. Welcome to the real world, kids.

Their dad was raised with everything paid for, and you know what? He has not a lot of coping skills when things go badly. He doesn't bounce back as easily. Failure and hard work helps you bounce back, and I don't want my kids bouncing back to my house, so Boot Camp starts today! Any suggestions greatly appreciated.

Labels: Are you There God, Chelsea Handler, Confessions of a Shopoholic, It's Me Vodka

THE THINGS GIRLS SAY
I was talking on the phone to Diann the other day and it just struck me how different at the core we girls really are from women. So today I offer up a list of comments men would NEVER say that women are often heard to be gabbing about.

1. Did you get your hair cut? I really like that style. What product did you use to get it to look like that? (My Dave washes his hair with Head and Shoulders, combs it, and that's that.)
2. Are you losing weight? How are you doing it? (I don't think men notice someone's weight loss unless it's REALLY dramatic.)
3. Is that a new shade of lipstick?
4. I love those red shoes! Where did you get them?
5. Is that wall color fawn? (Men might notice a wall color but they'd call it beige.)

We women notice when a friend has a new lift bra or has lost five pounds. Is it because our society is so geared to appearance or because we're just different? I can't decide.

Now it's your turn. What have you heard or said lately that a man would NEVER say?

Labels: men and women differences, things women say

I hope all you mothers had a wonderful Mother's Day. The weather here was beautiful! It was confirmed that my family does indeed know me well.

Colleen's already mentioned our mothers, but I was thinking today about my mother and for some strange reason my mind went off on a trail of wondering which TV character my mom most reminds me of, and well, as you can see, she reminds me of Lucy. 

Yesterday I was listening to a female financial expert say a woman should always have her own money. Many happily married women called and said their systems of joint checking had worked out and they were happy with it. The financial expert said that she liked a $60 creme, but her husband thought $5 moisturizer was fine for everything.

I submit her problem was not about money. If you're struggling to put ground beef on the table and buy $60 moisturizer, you have issues. If you have several bestselling books on money and have to justify that creme, your problem is not money.

Watching "THe Real Housewives of NYC" my favorite character, Jill Zarin's mother came to summer at their Hampton's house. I love this mother. She's a Jewish matriarch full of wisdom and unending love for her family. When she came, the car they picked her up in was a big SUV and it was hard on her fragile body. Jill's husband walked her to the collection of six cars they had. The mother's husband knew none of them would work. So he and his son-in-law went to rent a car.

When Jill's mother sat in the rented Lincoln, she beamed. And the two men were thrilled as if they had slayed a dragon. They were heros and it had nothing to do with money. They didn't tell her she could just ride in one of the cars they had. They expressed their love and respect to her. And it didn't look like they were hurting any financially.

So what is it with the stingy spirit do you think? Why do some people protect their money at the expense of people? I've actually heard people call it a Depression mentality. But what Depression? You're not old enough to remember it, and the guy who can, rented his wife an expensive car for her comfort! So what's the real excuse?

Charity starts at home in my opinion. If your husband tells you that you're only worth the $5 creme, he may get ground beef instead of steak.

Labels: generous spirit, Housewives of NYC, Jill Zarin, stingy

MOTHER'S DAY
Mother's Day is this weekend in case it's crept up on you. I'm proud of the kids Dave and I have managed to raise, and now our family has grown to include Donna and Mark as well. And being a Grammy--well you all know how I feel about that! I was lying in bed last night and thinking about MY mom though. If someone were to ask me what my most vivid memories were of my mother, here they are:

1. Sitting on the sofa and painting her toenails. Funny how I know the shape of her feet as well as my own!
2. Rushing home from school to watch Dark Shadows with her in the afternoon. I was in love with Barnabas Collins. :-)
3. Seeing the expression on her face when I stepped in cow patties in my grandma's back field.
4. Feeling proud when she came to school for something. I always thought I had the prettiest mom in the school.
5. Going in the principal's office and seeing her and my Dad there all worried because I sideswiped a car with my bike and kept on going.
6. Her screaming when a rat got in the house. I was maybe 5? It made an impression. LOL

How about you? Want to share some memories of YOUR mom?

Labels: memories, Mother's Day

"I passed you the other day, but I don't think you saw me," my friend says.